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 Jun 2015 Escalus
Cry the tears that makes it blue,
Paint the sky to make it true,
Light the sun right now with you,
Yet why I ask that you fly past through.

Hold the breath to be alive,
Clench the hands for it to shrive,
Bite the lips until you strive,
Yet forget-not to always take five.

Heave the sigh that was to keep,
Let the feelings out to weep,
Rant the words that made you creep,
So that you can finally sleep.

Once again, I would like say,
Nothing will ever make me stray,
For that I will forever pray,
So that always I'll be gay.
I refuse to suffocate.
You always looked at me and said "Darling smile"....
I smiled out of politeness because i wasn't sure what made me sad.....
You use to hold me tight when during the night my dreams were more than i could take...
I drank like the answer to all my problems were in some sort of crisis at the bottles bottom....
Then like I had to celebrate I pushed thru the safety in your arms and said " *******"...
With tears in my eyes and fear in my mind it made you the enemy.....
But when i heard no mayday from 20 000 leagues under the liquor...
I was happier than i ever was rescuing the answer that never came...
No first aid trying to resuscitate the dead reason for my misery will ever be equal to you...
Like I get it now they weren't calling for my help they were calling me away from you....
I see you sometimes with that bottle like you hear that SOS too....
I sent out a message from my hell neatly wrote in a bottle....
And then I go back to my rescue just looking for answers somewhere at the bottom......
 May 2015 Escalus
She's a hurricane,
A billowing chaos.
Streets away, you'll hear
The howls at her presence.
For miles you'll feel the air
Choke up.

Girl's dynamic in ways
Unique to this world.
Prominent in a way
I'll never be.

She's a tense muscle
That never relaxes;
A gun with a hairline trigger.
Longs for affection
And intimate hands
But shrinks away
In times of crisis.

For her, everything's a crisis.

Found her on the floor one night,
Lips blue,
Arm belted,
And the voice beyond the veil
Gargling in her throat.
She told me it was nothingness.

Certainly sounded like nothing good.

I've never known a darkness like hers,
Not really.
I don't think she's ever known my peace.

Not really.
I needed to tell someone. Because she refuses.
 May 2015 Escalus
I am not of darkness, but i'm in the dark.
If I am not lost, I am slowly losing it.

As the Babylonians babel on, i wander on,
lost while wondering when the future shall fall.

Shalom, shalom,
and into the night of day we go.
each with flame that flutters and fluctuates amidst the noise of reality,
certain to ignite a side to the worlds duality.

there is a lost freedom in this land,
and if we are but angels
we are but angels at war with God with gods.
and if we are but gods
we are as foolish as they come.

is this darkness on the dawn?
shadow in the night,

find the light

find the light

find the light.

Even I whose soul is as the night can love its loving bright.
James Blake - Retrograde♫
 May 2015 Escalus
Why is it
 May 2015 Escalus
Why is it
That you only look
for stars
When there is no moon
And it is dark

Why is it
That you only know
what you had
When it is time
to say goodbye

Why is it
That the things we have
Always have to wait
While we seek the things
We might never get

Why is it
Among the greenery
of the spring
We forget about the autumn leaves that flew away

Why Is it
I have always grieved
for loss more strongly
than I ever
Felt the love

Why is it
That I always write about things
When it is a little too late
And they are already gone;
Their meanings belittled

Why is it
We are too busy wondering
why someone loves us
Instead of confessing
we feel the same

Why is it
We stare at a moment
till it slips
right out of  our hand
And blurs into a forlorn memory

Why Is it
That we wait
to be sure
Till a chance becomes
another what if
I miss you, grandpa. So much more everyday.
 May 2015 Escalus
Jake Danby
The biting winter snarled its teeth,
To awaken him from his concrete bed,
The trees shake with the wind, bare of leaf,
He can’t recall the last time he was properly fed.

Reaching for needle so frequently used,
He burns the powder that spells release,
It strangles his memory of a youth abused,
His arm swallows the bubbling, boiling grease.

He barely realizes the sordid looks and stares,
His battered body warrants such things,
As though he burns eyes like a hundred flares,
They could never understand his wretched beginnings.

Slumped outside the city ATM,
A suited man withdrew money in plenty,
“Any change?” hand extended, like a grubby flower stem,
“Not today, you ***! I can’t spare you a penny.”
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