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Mar 2016 · 1.4k
Dirty Words
Estelle Mar 2016
The end of the disintegration
not just missing the companionship
but the swelling of seas and the thought
of ships colliding.
I don't miss you nearly as much
...as I miss your touch.

I miss your inner thighs,
your loud moans
and cries -
of pleasure.
As I stroked you
up and down,
and swirled my tongue
kissing you in hidden places.

My legs up high,
your heart,
pulsing.
your face
between my legs,
me convulsing.

As the slow flicker
of your tongue across
the top of me,
makes me swell
like the rageous of seas.

I swear I won't
hold it against you,
just you against me,
and when the fun is over -
I won't resist to let you free.

Just let me know in this,
this feeling of reminisce...
If I'm alone in it.
That you miss the clashing of
our bodies and the way
our bodies meld.
and I'm not the only one in Texas
who wouldn't mind being held.
Estelle Jan 2015
Somebody mix in some yellow

color me something new.
Feb 2014 · 802
I'm starting to wonder...
Estelle Feb 2014
If monogamy is it’s own form of sickness
If those in ‘love’ are those in illness 

If those moving on are those in stillness 

If the calm before the storm is really
what you should prepare for
Nov 2013 · 792
Saltwater Lips
Estelle Nov 2013
I want to sweep you away;
keep you swimming in my sea.
Never to drown you,
but to set you free.

Saltwater lips
have an awful lot to say
If you’re lucky  
to have the privilege
of being swept away.
Nov 2013 · 517
Marilyn
Estelle Nov 2013
I wish like hell I were a Jackie
but I'm more ****** up
than you know.
That's why I'll never be a Jackie
and I'll always be Marilyn Monroe.
Jan 2013 · 921
for blind, or for worse.
Estelle Jan 2013
I was raised on grain alcohol

and prayer. And if that's

not a powerful combination,

I don't know what is.

I blow up volcanoes daily,



So, you really shouldn't

of come as a surprise.



I realize I can't play

cards, or board games well.

But I'm the best liar

you ever saw. I also

know well enough to know

these words are inert -

they don't mean a thing.



Like this hand on my

thigh, what's the use?

But the hand, like the eye,

has it's purpose.

So, who am I

to interrupt it's job?



A mouths job, on the

other hand, is never done.

From the wine it sips,

to the licking of lips.

It's the only anchor

keeping me from your seas.



But alas,  I have retired

my spectacles. My bleak eyes

have grown old.  So,  

I keep them closed these days,

pretending it's you I hold.



For blind, or for worse...

the better to dream

of you, my dear.
Jan 2013 · 580
tangled webs
Estelle Jan 2013
Ah, what a tangled web we weave

lives can't be written -

as ****** up as these.



Another page written,

one more floor swept.

As waters getting frozen,

where ice will be kept.



I can't sleep like a jezebel

but I've still got a need.

Lives can't be written -

as ****** up as these.
Jan 2013 · 514
sweet roseanne
Estelle Jan 2013
Your words ring like a shotgun blast in my ears.

Echoing and piercing just the same.

The honesty of them penetrating and cold,

taking me down faster than a speeding bullet.

You'd think it dramatic of me, foolish even,

to liken a statement to that of a ****** wound.

Wouldn't you?

But if you'd stood with your feet on that same floor,

the same kitchen floor he'd had you naked, bent over on before.

Maybe then you too wouldn't stand quite as tall,

as he gave you excuses that he was "joking" and that "was all".

Maybe you'd crumble.

Maybe you'd fake your strength like me.

Maybe you'd be smarter and flee.

Regardless of your physical reaction -

I can bet one thing would ring true...

That when it comes to someone who "loves" you?

This isn't something they do.
Jan 2013 · 546
Torn from inside
Estelle Jan 2013
pulsating and deep

dripping sweat,

and nothing but heat.

hips pointed high,

and eyes to the sky.

In a rocking motion,

thigh against thigh.

while you just lay there,

with your eyes open wide

... never knowing,

you're tearing from inside.



Until you're moving,

moving all about.

And you're bleeding,

so you shout!



And friends come running,

while the boy once full of motion -

just continues lying there.

With no concern at all,

except for himself,

and his hair.



Soon the hours start to pass,

the catheters, the doctors, the glass.

The blood flows, but the heart just stops.

Maybe from the morphine drip,

maybe from the tear,

maybe from the Mother,

whose now standing there.



The one who will stroke your filthy palm,

the one who you'll tell:

you raised a little girl, ma,

who can't choose men real well.



But if luck still exsists,

she'll hold you without a care.

And she'll help to mend the tear

that left you lying there.



Eventually you'll drift to sleep,

maybe out of weakness,

maybe after a good weep.

The suture will come out,

and the blood will cease.

But you, sweet darling,

will awake nowhere near peace.



Know you can clean up the mess, girl,

and you can hide that scar.

But the truth is, it's there,

wherever you are.



And he's not alone.

There's plenty of him.

But maybe next time sweet girl,

you won't just seek a lover,

but a friend.
Jan 2013 · 1.8k
disappointment
Estelle Jan 2013
You are the dab of butter melting

in my morning grits. The incessant flicker

from the candles glowing in my room.

You’re in that glass, the golden dancer

of bubbles tingling my nose and mouth.


As I approach that stop sign,

you’ll be that blinding bus,

at each street corner,

stealing my time even years after graduation.


Remembering as I do, you.

The highlighter that lit up my life.

So bold, and so brilliant.

Forget the other paragraphs,

yours were the only words that mattered.



It wasn’t until early on a Tuesday

the daily shift to morning from night.

Allowing a bright sun to greet us

as the moon planned its escape.



There you were, a stranger in my bed

Like a yolk surprise, cracked before my eyes,

I finally saw your true colors
Apr 2010 · 684
"For Blind, or For Worse"
Estelle Apr 2010
I was raised on grain alcohol
and prayer & if that's
not a powerful combination,  
I don't know what is.
I blow up volcanoes daily,

So, you really shouldn't
of come as a surprise.

I realize I can't play
cards, or board games well.
But I'm the best liar
you ever saw. I also
know well enough to know
these words are inert-
they don't mean a thing.

Like this hand on my
thigh, what's the use?
But the hand like,
the eye, has it's purpose.
So, who am I
to interrupt it's job?

A mouths job, on the
other hand, is never done.
From the wine it sips,
to the licking of lips.
It's the only anchor
keeping me from your seas.

But alas, I have retired
my spectacles. My bleak eyes
have grown old. So, I
keep them closed these days,
pretending it's you I hold.

For blind, or for worse...
the better to dream
you of my dear.
Apr 2010 · 817
"A Hearts Plea"
Estelle Apr 2010
My Doctors running tests to make sure I'm not hollow.

He says the sound I make as the stethoscope hits

my bare skin, is as empty as a bottle of whiskey at 5 A.M.

But I say, **** a Mr. White Coat. And **** Lauren.

I would give body parts to have a guy remind

this shell of me that I'm beautiful. My kidney?

Oh, both of them? Here, baby, consider them yours-

Just remind this human fist wrapped in blood

to continue beating. It's been rather hard to find a pulse.
Apr 2010 · 691
"Throb"
Estelle Apr 2010
You make this chest throb like a bruise given to me
in third grade. A pulsing dancer keeping perfect time
and rhythm in  my soul. Dip me in sugar,
how I'd love to be your spoon. I can
mix it all together, & help it all make sense.
Jan 2010 · 524
Haiku (6)
Estelle Jan 2010
keep your bare feet
on the dash
and our movie will never end
Jan 2010 · 630
Haiku (5)
Estelle Jan 2010
champagne is sweeter
in the car
with you and orange juice
Jan 2010 · 499
Haiku (4)
Estelle Jan 2010
spring- or is it summer
either way
upstairs they're getting warm
Jan 2010 · 555
Haiku (3)
Estelle Jan 2010
burning lips
and burning throats
this courage has some fire.
Jan 2010 · 681
Haiku (2)
Estelle Jan 2010
driving by the airplane field
I wish we'd take flight
So tired of grounded motion.
Jan 2010 · 538
Haiku (1)
Estelle Jan 2010
No caress this evening
just warmth
from the sun
Estelle Jan 2010
(Written when I was in high school in '07. Published in "Graffiti")

completely, completely irrisistable
completely, completely unattainable
and so it seems, I'm in love with the dream
and wondering "what if?" is so much more
promising than what actually is.

so, she'll laugh, and she'll joke
and she'll drink, and she'll smoke
elegantly blowing out every thought
and imperfection with each drag.

and nicotine can't be a lover
of this, we all know is true
but when a cigarette is the only
thing holding your hand....

there's no room to wish it was you.
Jan 2010 · 854
Oh boy.
Estelle Jan 2010
(A poem I wrote when I was 17 in high school. So, keep that in mind. ;) Poem was published in "Graffiti" 2005)

Let's destroy each other.
'cause we're too cool for love lines,
soft kisses over cheap wine.

smoke me baby like your last cigrette,
whisper to me, say you'll never forget.
could you break my heart a little more?
shove my body up against yours
& kiss me like you mean it?

anything worth a taste
burns as it goes down.

could you tell me I'm so Audrey Hepburn
when my hair falls to the side?
& say Girl, I'm not here to love you tender,
I'm just here for the ride.
Let's blind ourselves by love
& be deaf to all who say it's fatal.
It's not that we don't know,
It's just that we don't care.
Jan 2010 · 940
My Personal Blizzard
Estelle Jan 2010
These songs are all asleep
they lay dormant inside of me
I can hear the speakers buzzing
the songs are getting old
the volumes been turned down
and we're stuck out in the cold

my very own personal blizzard
created just by me
I got tired of holding up that avalanche
so, I decided to let it free

personal anthems we've been singing
are now just faint screams
as our loved poetic justice
... is ripping at the seams

— The End —