I can’t call
I won’t write
Wish I was there?
Would you dare to say?
Where did we go wrong?
When did things start splitting at the seems?
Who was it that let you down?
When did you lose your faith?
Where did you lose your faith?
Can I help you find it?
You are waist deep in water
Does that mean what I think it does?
I don't understand why you want to leave
And I don't blame you for wanting to leave.
I am annoyed that I express myself better in writing than speech.
I suppose it's because no one can see your tears behind a screen.
Even more so, perhaps it's because no one can hear my inner thoughts.
Maybe I like the freedom of how my worry turns into hope turns into fear.
In my inner head, I call you a coward. Looking down on your weakness.
I can't let go of this anger borderline hatred. I refuse the notion to forgive.
Instead, I hang on to this and it is not to punish you.
I cannot let go, so I will not forget that it is not safe to trust.
Not okay to fall in love.
You are nothing more than another verse sent by the universe to be added to my book of tragedies.
There's an Arab proverb
my mom always recites
or is it a verse from the Quran?
fix your eyes' gaze into God's eyes
meant to inspire
to reaffirm your faith, when it all goes to ****
for sake of arguing, I silently nod
thinking how tired my neck is
from staring up at that sky
she constantly prays for us
arms outstretched, palms facing the heavens
her faith unwavering
even when her prayers are left unanswered
i used to believe that salvation was around the corner
as a younger me sharing my prayers
certain that the world grew quiet
as if hushed by Him just to hear my words
it felt real, i felt heard, i felt relief
they say God only troubles those he loves
if it is to test my faith, then I have failed
there's a defiance that lives in my heart
fueled by anger of abandonment
and hurt from His disregard
i don't try to fix what has been broken
i accept the consequences
i am a sinner and i am ready to receive
the soft spoken,
Where do we go
My love for you is like casting a stone into water that inevitably sinks to the bottom as soon as it breaks the surface.