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Mar 2020 · 137
Not real, just thoughts
Rose Who Knows Mar 2020
I think morbid thoughts

When I hear that siren.

I think morbid thoughts  

When I am driving and

wonder what would happen after the crash.

I think morbid thoughts

When I look at my sleeping aides  

And wonder what it would taste like  

To sleep forever.
Morbid thinking is my past time
Mar 2020 · 199
Picture Perfect
Rose Who Knows Mar 2020
You can't see behind the picture,
you can't hear all the noise.
Come on folks, don't judge a book by its cover. Pictures are often deceiving. Just like how you don't know what kind of person someone is just by looking at them.
Jan 2020 · 401
ghosts of the night
Rose Who Knows Jan 2020
I hear the call of the animals
through the darkness
their piercing need

Searching

Searching

For one another
in the black
stony night.
Literally wrote this as I heard animals calling out to one another in the night
Jan 2020 · 108
Hard reality
Rose Who Knows Jan 2020
You know the truth
if he
wanted to
he would.
this was something I had to tell myself about a guy. If he wanted to make a move then he would, so he's just not that into you. A part of me would be like, I have evidence that he does like me, but realized if he didn't have the ***** to act then I don't need to be wasting feelings on that person. I deserve more.
Jan 2020 · 67
Wildfire
Rose Who Knows Jan 2020
I knew it was bound to happen
but I was still shocked.
How did you move on from
what could have been?

I knew it was bound to happen
I thought I could pretend
that if I don't think about it
then it won't happen.

Reality is like a sucker punch.
Punching holes into my fantasy.

You blew up my heart to smithereens
with one smile

It blew up
though the wildfire lives on.
Jan 2020 · 84
sorry for the angst
Rose Who Knows Jan 2020
You were the beast
that ravished
my heart.
Sep 2019 · 383
Partial truths
Rose Who Knows Sep 2019
It's not you it's me...
I'm sure everyone would hate to be on the receiving end.
Well, it is you, which is partially true, but I won't tell you that.
You just didn't make it on the list of people I want to invest my time in.
You seem nice, but you didn't win the lottery ticket.
Some other girl will award you her time, but not this girl.
Sorry not sorry.
Better than ghosting
Sep 2019 · 248
Against the world
Rose Who Knows Sep 2019
Will I be stuck in the past forever?
I miss
when it was
just you and
I.
With birthdays passing by I remember the good times when we were each other's go to person. What happened?
Mar 2019 · 373
New white converse shoes
Rose Who Knows Mar 2019
Oh, how you were so pearly white when I saw you.
What a good impression you made with me.
It took some time to get comfortable.
Soon enough we've made so many memories
walking here and there.
But as they do, you've got some scuffs now.
More time passes, you're not as clean as when I first saw you.
Usually how it goes, I either get fond of these well worn shoes and want to keep them forever or end up tossing them.
I still remember the good times, but I've moved on and there are other shoes to admire now.
I wish to explain further.. I know you're capable of interpreting.. But this poem is a metaphor for friendships, the beginning, middle and end. I had been thinking about the different friends we make over a lifetime. It's okay for friendships to change into something else. We change as people, so it makes sense.
Mar 2019 · 231
Discomfort is a sour pill
Rose Who Knows Mar 2019
I realized the reason
for my discomfort around him
He's never really responded to me
When I have said something it's like
I've spoken to myself, like I'm invisible, like my words can't be heard.
It makes me feel insignificant.
I don't like it.
So, now I know why I don't like to talk around him,
to feel like the center of attention cause normally I'm not.
This is not a love poem. It's about feeling anxious around people and not being my true self in front of others.
Mar 2019 · 237
Stars
Rose Who Knows Mar 2019
Hey there little star
You're just so far

I wish you could shoot toward me
with all your might
Once we collide I know there would
be a wondrous light

There would be flying sparks
The universe would definitely feel our marks
Just some drabble while looking out at the night sky.
Feb 2019 · 172
So I let go..
Rose Who Knows Feb 2019
I was holding on so tightly
that was the problem.
It made me feel hurt when
what I expected to happen
didn't.

My feelings are valid
I know.

But I learned
to put someone else first
in a different way than before.

I may be "right" in some ways
but being "right" all the time
isn't what makes them stay.

You always gotta give a
little
or
as is turns out
a
lot.

I was holding on so tightly
I'm sorry if you couldn't breathe.

So I let go..

I won't ask again
don't
you
worry.
Just the continuation of the drama in my life. We always learn the hard lessons through experience right?
Feb 2019 · 155
Oblivious to reality
Rose Who Knows Feb 2019
Did you know?
It ***** to have a friend like you
Did you know?
Those texts that you sent
Though seems innocently sweet
Hurt me more than you'll ever know.

But the real question I must face...
Will you care?
Are you the type of friend that is loyal to a fault? The type that tries so hard to make things work, but then gets zip in return. Well, let me tell you, it's exhausting.
Feb 2019 · 254
I can't help, but to think.
Rose Who Knows Feb 2019
The    l  ong nights feeling
          O n edge
  Yearn ing touch
          E very one is busy
I am  l  oved
          Y et when I am alone...
When you feel like the only person in the world.
Rose Who Knows Jan 2019
We're all stupid when it comes to "love" or "like."
I've learned that by now right?
It starts with racing heartbeats and stars in the eyes.
It starts as a fun crush, but some move onto more while others are stuck with just crushes.
Wishing that he would like you instead of her...
Or wishing that you were special compared to his past girlfriends.
Or thinking that when he constantly looks at you that must mean something right?
Or it ends with heartbreak and wishing you could just have your best friend back.

So, here it goes...
This is for me and all my girl friends.

There's one who says she's over her ex and I believe her, but she still wants to hang out with her ex like that's normal.
There's another that looks at the guy she likes while he's talking about another girl.
There's another that knows she deserves better but settles for a guy that doesn't want to commit to commitment.
She's the catch here.
There's another, they would be so good together, but he's taking forever to make his intentions known. Should she dare to hope?
Then, there's me, who pines for a guy that is a shy one and he looks like he has some interest... But there's a big problem of distance.
We may never have a chance to start.

Why do we go for the complicated ones?
Why are we the cats in this game of "love"?
I'm writing this really in frustration for my friends in how hard they may be hurt in the process of their relationship or at the end of it. Every one of them has their reasons or irrational reasons for liking who they like or staying with them. Honestly, the same goes for me. I should just get over this guy... I don't even know if I have a chance. But don't we all get stupid because of someone?
Dec 2018 · 237
The Tales of the Shutdown
Rose Who Knows Dec 2018
There were five people from a tiny town;
This town they lived in seemed all upside down.
Where everyone's values were different,
But everyone had the same commitment.
On this pilgrimage, they came together,
In the lovely fall weather.
The pilgrimage was to Capitol Hill,
To convince the government to pass the bill.
For now, they are just taking a short break,
To start the government for goodness sake.
All the pilgrims met through the site Macebook,
Discovered everyone with just one look.
The conspirator made the creepy site,
Who lured the followers into the light.
This is how we do it in the new age;
When you click the mouse once to like a page.
But by far the most difficult conflict,
Is to make the government not as strict.
They traveled in 2013,
They began their travel in a ravine.
In the submarine they consumed cheesecake,
Swallowing their pride to fix their heartache.
It's kind of funny, this poem, I was going through old folders of high school papers that I have kept. I know I wrote this for an English class. It doesn't really make sense and I don't know what the prompt was.

It would be cool to hear your theories. Have fun figuring out the meaning!
Dec 2018 · 226
Who can judge?
Rose Who Knows Dec 2018
What is love?
She says she admires him
that he is everything that she looks for
But she knows she doesn't really know him
on a personal level.

How can you be in love with someone
that you haven't had one on one time with?

I guess in her case,
"like"
would be the better word to describe her feelings.

But who am I to judge what she is feeling?

Which makes me wonder,
was I really in love?
Just thinking about love and how you know you are in love.
Nov 2018 · 253
Endless time
Rose Who Knows Nov 2018
There's a tunnel
People always say that
There is light at the end
But all I see is darkness
It's an endless sound of
The echo of my feet
Hitting the pavement
Whether I walk or run
The darkness is right by my side

I have an image in my mind
Of what the light is like
A meaningful whisper
From the wind

Eternal is times name
Nov 2018 · 225
Rudy
Rose Who Knows Nov 2018
We could be flying
but instead are on the ground
We were created for more
but instead, we listen to lies

God chose us
but we look everywhere except to Him
We are called children of God

There is a greater purpose
He defines it
Living for God
Changing lives through God's glory

Take my profession and Go
The speaker in chapel today inspired me to write this.
Oct 2018 · 238
Release
Rose Who Knows Oct 2018
I feel my heart strengthening
I feel Your presence
in this quiet place

You matter God
You urge me forwards
You welcome me in

I cry,
"It's so hard to let go!"
You say, "Fly"
but I'm scared of heights?
You say, "Fly"
but what if I fall?
You say, "Not for long,
you will fly,
you will soar."
but I'm scared...
You say, "Rose, have I ever let you down?
Have I ever left you alone?
Other people have,
but I am
God."
I wrote "Release" right after "Provision."  I felt a tugging on my heart to really listen to God and embrace the fear and to turn myself over to God. I feel broken and I feel the brokenness in other people, but I know I am redeemed in Christ and all will be well. It's so hard to let go of the anxiety and to instead be present with God, but it's what He wants me to do. So, I will try my best to follow God.
Oct 2018 · 327
Provision
Rose Who Knows Oct 2018
Broken hands
Broken hearts
Oh, how I come apart
Your presence so sweet

I ache for you
I cry out Your name
"Why is it so hard?"

Among all the clanging
I hear your call
even in the chaos of space
I hear your call
through different voices
I hear you calling me back
"I will provide"
Come back home my sweet daughter

Let me love you
put your faith in me
lean on me

You are known
and
You are heard
Tonight I felt a deep stirring within my soul and itched to start writing out God's message for me.
Oct 2018 · 314
Tipsy and confused
Rose Who Knows Oct 2018
Here's a big question

What do I want?
Right now? In the future?
Maybe the better question is who do I want?
Does he have a name?

Nameless man
It would be so fitting if your name was Jack

I want someone to touch
I want someone to hold and to caress
For him to be content with this much

I want someone
To cuddle
To share secrets with
To share knowing looks

Is it possible? Is it too much to ask?
I want a guy best friend
That's what I want right now
Not a boyfriend
Not a friends with benefits

(Though, sometimes that sounds good)

To be close physically, but not in a ****** way
It may sound crazy, but I want a guy best friend
Is that too much to ask?
Just writing out my thoughts, don't mind me. I was more confused at the beginning of this than the end.
Oct 2018 · 291
Fall Feels
Rose Who Knows Oct 2018
Fall feels
I love to bring out the comfy sweaters
get your hot cocoa ready
snuggle up close
read a book
or watch a movie
while the room is filled with falls feels
filled with compelling scents

wishing for the scent of home
the scent of pumpkin spice
(even though I don't like pumpkin)
(gasp)
the scent of the crisp cool air

Fall feels encourages crushes
it just happens
not this time
not for me

they are fun
the mushy feelings
the butterflies
late night talks with your gal pals

the whispers
the quick glances
the lopsided smiles
that make your heart beat quicker

it's cute

not for me
not this season
there is too much going on

but I'll laugh with you
I'll smile
I'll support you
and wish the best for you
It's fall break 2018
Oct 2018 · 2.6k
Part I: water and air
Rose Who Knows Oct 2018
Treading water
so calm and peaceful
tranquil water

rising
falling

rising
falling

as if the water was flowing
to the tempo of my heart

inhale
exhale

my tranquil waters are disrupted
something is not right
the water slides past my ears
suddenly
I am jostled out of my daydream

the ripples turn into waves
they want to engulf me
feel me tumble in their depth
and feel me gasp for
breath
I am in my last semester of college and this is how I feel.
Sep 2018 · 227
The boy who laughs
Rose Who Knows Sep 2018
The Catman told a joke
The boy's laughter bounced off the walls
I knew that laugh, so I smiled to myself

I knew before even seeing him
His broad smile lights up the room
His full laugh fills the room
fills me

If only I could be the reason for his smile
If only I could be within his sight
If only it could be as more than a friend
Something I wrote a couple years ago about a boy I liked.

You may notice that I use code names for some people I refer to.
Sep 2018 · 405
Rosie
Rose Who Knows Sep 2018
To you who has always believed in me
You have always loved me
Ever since the first time you held me

You were always sassy and sweet
You had these old wrinkly hands
That had touched so many lives

You had beautiful blue eyes
That would watch me with care
Even with your tall boney frame
hugging me so tight I didn't even care

You loved crafts
You loved teaching students
You loved me

I know it's not just about me
There were those who were closer
But I just wish you would say one more time
"I'm not bionic!"
Oh how that was your catchphrase
In remembrance of my great aunt Rosie
Sep 2018 · 231
Silent fears and tears
Rose Who Knows Sep 2018
The tight feelings in my chest
The hard squeeze of my eyes
to shut away the feeling of hurt
and loneliness
I am the outcast
the wanderer stuck between two worlds
Lost Lost Lost
I'm a wanderer looking for where I belong
Who will help me up and out?
Who will open the door to their world?

Pleading silently for you to stay away
For if you saw my eyes
you'd know something was amiss
Even if you asked
I don't think I could explain something
I don't quite understand

If you won't include me
I won't lean in
I'll keep my distance

You don't know
You can't see
But I won't tell

r.h.
This was a time in my life where I was reunited with my family after a long time apart. Yet, after being together for so little time I ended up shutting myself in a closet to get away from them all. So, I could cry and write.

— The End —