bathroom stalls are still haunted
with the smell of bourbon
and the sound of you trying to misplace the loneliness trapped inside you

i held your drunk head while you cried
and you still won't look me in the eyes
i'm sorry loving you wasn't enough

My heart isn't broken
it's bruised

I have bruises like a map across my skin
Across my soul across my body
Bruises like a black ocean
swallowing me whole

Where do the bruises end
And I begin
It hurts to be touched
But watch me beg for more
It hurts to be loved
But watch me try anyway

Watch my skin crawl
When you trail kisses down my neck
Look at the footprints they leave behind

Stare into my bloodshot eyes
And tell me it was my fault
Tell me I bruised myself

Tell me I hammered my own heart
Against the inside of my rib cage
Until the only thing left beating
Was my fists against my chest

A cheap imitation
For the beating of a heart

Believe me when I tell you
That I no longer ache for you
Believe me when I tell you
I couldn't make these bruises by myself

Every old bruise
Is shaped like your fingertips
Every old bruise
is shaped like your hands around my neck
Every old bruise is shaped like you

And when these bruises fade
New ones will take their place
And I hope they hurt
And I hope they're beautiful

his elaborate whisper of delirious worship
the repulsive tongue of drunk men
I must recall in bitter fashion
his mess above my passion

My heart is not your home
I won't let foreign fingers
Caress my shores
Or stake flags in my hilltops
I have cast your boat from my seas
And cleaned my skin from under your nails
This heart is not your home
Nor anyone else's
The beating in my chest
Is not the beating of a drum
Do not build your melodies around the pounding inside me

Domestic destruction
Detonation
Dehumanization
People are breathing their last breaths
But we will call it
civilian casualty

Bullets ringing like bells through the air
Bones cracking like the whips we have "long since" retired

A terrorist without the skin tone
Or the turban
Is called
troubled

We keep the death toll
Like keeping score

Pointing fingers
But never at home team

The flag is colored
Red with our blood
White like our pride
And blue like our sorrow

And you boo when people kneel
Seeing them pushed down by the weight of the injustices we perpetuate
****** you off

Because people died for that flag
Like the unnamed slaves-turned-soldiers
Who never had a choice when bullets littered their backs
Dying for a country they didn't ask to be in

The taking knees
Doesn't honor that proud history
It doesn't fit the status quo
The picture of
America the brave
And home of the free(d)

The freedom of speech
Our favorite card to play
Until someone has something important to say

So build the wall ten feet higher

We gave children dreams
now we ship back the dreamers
To a land they never dreamt of

Ten feet higher

We shot unarmed kids in the back
Blaming the bullet
Not the blue who pulled the trigger

Ten feet higher

We marched with swastikas held high
Alt right
Neo ****
No, sorry
White Pride

Ten feet higher

Add a foot for every black life that didn't matter enough
Add a foot for every white ****** that walked free
Add a foot for every family ripped apart
Add a foot for every terrorist that came from inside this country
Add a foot for every hate crime left unnoticed
Add a foot for every transgender person who can no longer serve
Add a foot for every injustice that will never be addressed
Add a foot for every life we could've saved in Puerto Rico

Red with blood
The flag is red with the blood we wiped from our hands.

Be aware
Be angry

Fumbling in the dark
Blind deaf and dumbly
Broken fingers search for ignition
With Ice in my veins
I turn the key numbly

Gas pedal to the floor
Street lights twinkle above me
Bright beautiful alive
Polluting
Who knew stars could be so ugly