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Jun 2015 · 594
Just One
Just One

I wonder what it would be like
to tip over backwards
off a high place
a puppet with all its strings cut
to feel your body twirling, twisting, dropping
falling out into space

for one sweet moment

I wonder what it would be like
to drag a knife
over warm skin
a paper man with ripped edges
to feel your pain itching, bubbling, growing
washing away your sin

for one sweet moment

I wonder what it would be like
to sink deeper and deeper
into pools of blue
a burden too heavy to bear
to feel your lungs searching, gasping, screaming
your veins bleeding through

for one sweet moment

I wonder what it would be like
to swallow a bottle filled
with relief
a closed window forced open
to feel your mind whirling, struggling, fading
a needed respite from grief

for one sweet moment

But I do remember what it was like
to be filled
with unmatched hope
a lit match beneath an active volcano
to have felt my heart flutter, calm, and break
unable to cope
as thunder rained from skies above
for I have endured the worst of all
I have fallen in love
and what's more
I came back alive

And though it did not last for long
you don't need many moments to be free
**Just one.
Nov 2014 · 1.2k
How dare you
How dare you go
To war when we need you here.
How dare you run
Away when we want you to stay where you are.

How dare you make
A choice of your own accord.
We will control you.

How dare you live
And die on your terms.
We will rule you.

How dare you sail
Upon the open ocean.
How dare you cross
The places that we told you not to go to.

How dare you think
All by yourself.
We will control you.

How dare you love
And hate who you want.
We will rule you.

How dare you burn
Our country to the ground.
How dare you search
Through the ashes of this run down town.

How dare you want
Something just for yourself.
We are all one mind.

How dare you wish
For more than what we give you
We are all one mind.

How dare you be curious
How dare you insist
How dare you think for yourself
How dare you not desist
How dare you tell others
How dare you hope for more
How dare you ruin our rules
There is no more.
Oct 2014 · 984
Losing
I'm falling fast
I don't know which way is up anymore
It's all so complicated
And I'm not sure I want to hang on anymore

I feel alone
I'm surrounded by people but I'm still lost
It's all so real
And I don't know if I want it to be

It's all a game
A charade
Who can keep their mask on longest

And I'm losing
I don't want to smile everyday
Every minute
I just want everything to be okay
For my friends
For the people that I love

I'm criticised
The ones I want to help won't accept it
It's all so fake
We're just hiding from the world in lies of steel

They can be broken
And they will be

I've hit the floor
And it's just too much to take down here
It's all so hard
And I just want to make it through this game

This charade
Of who can keep their mask on longest

But I'm losing
I don't want to feel this weight around me
But I'm scared
Of what will happen if I show myself
To me
To my world

I don't want this to end
To fall apart
I want us to stay strong
In our worlds
But I'm losing
Oct 2014 · 1.2k
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. It seems I'm all alone.
It seems that there's nobody else with me.
When did I get left behind?
When did you all leave?

Oh. It seems that I'm not with you.
It seems that you have gone like all the others.
Where did you go?
Where could you all have gone?

Oh. It seems that all the days are cold.
It seems that everything is wrong.
When did this all happen?
When did it all change?

Why.
Is it so wrong?

Oh. I remember when we were together.
Then you left, you left.
You left me.

Oh. I remember when we used to be the same.
Then you changed, you changed.
You went away.

And now.
I'm standing here.
It's sunny, but all I see is rain.
And I've just realised that you've gone again.

Oh. It seems I won't be found.
It seems that there is no one left to look.
When did I get pulled away?
When did I lose everyone?
One by one.

Oh. I used to laugh just like everyone else.
I used to scream and shout and smile and cry.
But now you've all been taken by your need to be somewhere.
But not with me.
Oh, not with me.

Oh. It seems I'm all alone.
It seems that there's nobody else with me.
When did I get left behind?
When did you all leave?
Oh. But does it really matter when?
You left.
I'm all alone.

Oh. It seems there's nothing left for me to be here for.
It seems that everything I loved is gone.
Why did I get left behind?
Why did you all leave?

Oh.
#oh
Oct 2014 · 2.8k
Fading
Let me break down,
At the end of your so kindly outstreched hand,
Let me cry now,
It's not worth if I cannot get back up again,
Just let me go.

Does it matter?
Do I really have to keep on trying?
Have I seen it all?
Is this really everything there is to life?

Let me fall down,
I don't want to take your hand nor need you help,
Let me die now,
At the foot of my immortal endless dreams,
Just let me go.

Oh, what's the point?
Why should I keep on living?
What's the point?
Does it really make a difference if I stay or go?

What's the point!?
Why can't I choose whether to live or die?
What's the point?
Does it matter that I don't know where I am?

Let me run away,
I just want to find a place to hide, now,
Let me fade away,
I just want to be somewhere alone, now,
Just let me go.

Please. Just let me go.
And I will break down and fall down
And cry now and die now
And run away and fade away
Just let me go.
Oct 2014 · 1.3k
New Colours
Black and white,
An endless span of grey.
A civilisation or a million,
Living in that space.

Happy and safe,
In their familiar colours.
Unique in their shade,
Living side by side.

They build up and up,
Higher and higher.
They evolve more,
But their world is the same.

And then their world is shattered.
Broken, destroyed.
An instant in a lifetime.
They see another colour.

They filled up every inch of their own world.
But there are forever more.
Forever more shades, forever more people to be.
Forever more people to love.
To hate.

And there is yet more.
There is so, so much more.
They are scared.
How many more colours are there?
How many more will they be responsible for?

They wonder alone,
Their differences suddenly so clear.
They see themselves in a whole new light,
Just a mix of black and white.

And if there is so much more to see,
How is it that they've never known?
That they've always believed that they were safe,
When there are thousands more shades and millions more colours.

And if there is so much more to know,
How is that they've never seen?
That they've lived their lives being fair, including all.
But they only saw one colour.

And they they run.
Because they know they're wrong.
That they've excluded everyone apart from themselves.
And told themselves they had everyone.

And then they flee.
Their tortured souls, their tortured minds.
Because though every colour from black until white is there.
There is never any room for more.

Because the world isn't just in black and white.
And there will always be new colours.

And we cannot ignore them.
Oct 2014 · 1.2k
Gold
I want to write about gold
But I don't know what to say
It's underrated, overstated
So I'll let my words be too

Gold is never looked at
Used as a sign of wealth
To those who do not have enough
For platinum or diamond

And even when it lies
On the fingers of a married couple
It is not the gold that is seen
But the love it symbolises

Representing money
But used for none
Just laid to rest
As a long forgotten remnant
Of a time that didn't exist

I feel a sympathy for gold
So powerful yet so weak
Never reaching for the stars
Until it breaks free from its own ideals

Gold is a beautful element
And its beauty hides its intricacy
Unappreciated and underrated
Never seen for what it is
Oct 2014 · 669
I Love
I love the concept of love
Immovable; inbreakable
A force of purity and righteousness
To vanquish kings and gods

I love the feeling of hate
So bad yet so good, so right
An evil thing, but pure nonetheless
A burning desire to quench

I love the notion of pain
A force that can topple all things
Leaving no man behind, inflicting us all
A disease of immortal hurt

I love the idea of fear
Irrational but still so real
Lurking behind you is only your mind
But it destroys you just the same

I love all the things in this world
The beauty in death and the love in fear
Pain inflicted on a tortured soul
And hatred burning bright behind it all
I love these things of endless passion
I do
I do.
Oct 2014 · 344
Another Dimension
They say blood is thicker than water,
But you're too far out to see.
They say it's like mother, like daughter,
But why don't you care about me?

It's out of the frying pan, into the fire,
But I'm not gonna' burn with you.
I'm a lot of things but I'm not a liar,
You're gone and there's nothing to do.

'Cause you're in another dimension.
There will be no prevention.
You're achieving ascension.
And you're leaving me alone.

You might be staring into space,
But what are you trying to find?
There is no 'perfect place'.
I thought we left that all behind.

Yes, curiosity killed the cat,
But what was it looking for?
People say they can smell a rat,
But you only care for more.

'Cause you're in another dimension,
There is just too much tension,
You are gaining momentum,
And you're leaving me alone.

You're in another dimension,
There can be no redemption,
I am just an extension,
But you're leaving me alone.
And now I'm all alone
Oct 2014 · 367
Burning Up Inside
I'm a lighter in a world of matches,
I set everything ablaze.
Behind me lies a field of ashes,
Ahead just more to raze.

I'm immersed in a great big community,
They're the oxygen to my flame,
They have feelings and dreams, I get it, I see,
But to the fire they're all the same.

Sure you may think I'm alone, but at least I'm alive.
Well let me tell you this:
I'm whiting out,
Spiralling down,
And I am burning up inside.

'Cause I'm wreathed in a layer of hot white fire,
I burn everything around.
When I try to help, I am branded a liar,
My whole world just burns down.

People always talk of chivalry,
But that will never last,
When they see they can't trust me,
They all burn just as fast.

Oh you may think that I'm scared, but at least I'm alive.
Well let me tell you this:
I'm whiting out,
Spiralling down,
And I am burning up inside.
Oct 2014 · 849
Just A Lie
1)

The raging sun,
The bright white stars,
The burning tongues of flame.

The gasping pain,
The striking greed,
The tall dark hills of shame.

This fire, this ice,
This freezing blaze,
This inferno; death and hate.

This fear, this hurt,
I'm scared, alone,
This pain will not abate.

For there is fire in my veins and there is ice within my heart,
And there is burning, endless burning, in my soul.
Inside of me, war rages on, but I will play no part,
I watch outside, deserted, as the fire takes control.

For I was always taught and always thought the enemy was real,
That it was there, and it was seen, and it could always die.
But it can know and it can see and it can feel what I can feel,
For everything I've ever known and ever heard was just a lie.


2)

The endless dark,
The pitch black night,
Enveloping us all.

The inky black,
My cruel demise,
For we must surely fall.

This dark, this black,
This livid dream,
This ebony; this death.

The crushing light,
My endless pain,
My fear to take a breath.

For my world is ruled by darkness and my universe is dead,
And the world beneath my fingertips is plastic and unreal,
No solidity and light and power; just the crushing dread,
And the horror and insanity and hate I always feel.

For I was always taught and always thought my world was nice,
But deep within the shadows hides a world that whispers “why?”,
It tells you all your darkest secrets; holds you in its vice,
For everything I've ever known and ever heard was just a lie.


3)

Two tortured souls,
Both opposites,
In every shape and form.

Fire, ice,
And Darkness, death,
Both cut away from norm.

The flames grew wild,
The darkness black,
The power uncontrolled.

All that remained,
Two empty shells,
Left alone so cold.

That's what they told us then, at least, that we could not be strong,
But we burnt and fought our way through their destruction and their hell,
It was our mission to escape and our goal to prove them wrong,
We would teach them we were worthy and we'd break out of their cell.

For we were always taught and always thought that we were warm and safe,
Not cold and withered; trapped like rats, not left alone to die,
But like our lives, we were not shown the dark and dreadful truth,
For everything we'd ever known and ever heard was just a lie.
For it was just a lie.
Oct 2014 · 1.8k
Someday
Someday,
These wounds will heal,
These scars will fade.
And
Someday,
These memories will all be dated and forgotten,
As time passes, leaving me behind.
Someday,
I won't have to look over my shoulder,
At the past,
Just hoping for another moment's light.
My shadow dances through the night.
Someday,
The glares will fall away, I know it, and the whispers will be gone.
I won't have to be afraid,
The pain will cease.
And
Someday,
My life will all just be another distant dream.

Someday,
I'll reach the end,
My time will pass.
And
Someday,
This endless hatred will be tossed away forever,
As my life arrives and leaves this earth.
Someday,
I won't have to fear this world,
I'll walk alone,
These shackles that still hold me; they will break.
This endless pain is just a fake.
Someday,
The judging will be done, I know it, and the fears will all be gone.
I won't have to be afraid,
The pain will cease.
And someday,
My life will all just be another distant dream.

F**or someday,
My death will come,
My darkness nears.
And someday,
These thoughts and wishes that I know will disappear,
All of them whisked away by endless rain.
Someday,
I won't have to run and hide,
I'll end the pain,
These shadows, they still pull me through the night.
We will be brought to light.
Someday,
My anger will break free, I feel it, and I will achieve victory.
I won't have to be afraid.
The pain will cease.
And someday,
These wounds will heal,
These scars will fade.
But by that day,
My life will all just be another distant dream.

— The End —