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664 · Apr 2020
Lemon cake
Rocksteadylety Apr 2020
I asked my dad to lend me one of his hats
I got Booked for a part in a popular tv show as a field worker
How about that?
It’s perfect. That’s where I come from
In the early morning hours he stopped by my home and left me one of his favorite sombreros and a small lemon cake
The memories lemon cake brings are bittersweet
Years ago, when I was a kid and I was too high, lemon cake was the only thing I could eat
Now it’s the life I grow inside of me’s favorite treat
Feelings that a lemon cake could bring
Are tangy but sweet
Like my adolescence
I take a bite and memories surrender
And they’re welcomed,
I’m grateful to be able to remember
Where I come from.
282 · Apr 2020
LABOR PAIN
Rocksteadylety Apr 2020
Labor pain
I write this through a haze
Going in and out remembering grey days

I woke up from a dream
Where I had to fend from three
They didn’t even know me
I was only 13

Labor pain
I’ve moved past the blame
But how can make sure
You’re Journey doesn’t go the same?

I wanna protect you from  the world
But the world taught me
It is what you make it
When I was only 15

Labor pain
This is my labor pain
I’ve cut the chord
So you won’t have to feel my shame

Labor pain
This is my own labor pain
It’s not yours
I’m doing the best I can
To make sure your playground is free rein
Wrote this at the beginning of my labor
Growing up, becoming a mother, i don’t want to pass
On my trauma to my child. We do the best we can,
Sometimes we become the product of our environment, and sometimes we used that as an excuse
239 · Mar 2020
Dark night of the soul
Rocksteadylety Mar 2020
A poem can find a dark soul at night
The rebirth I had after I sat with my plight

The demons I held onto and encompassed me with their wings
Spoke of wild, dark, and wicked things.

And I felt warm there
I felt raw
Like an ice sculpture exposed to the sun.
Slowly waiting to thaw.

Or a cocoon forgotten in winter,
Made it to spring
I climbed out of my cocoon when I put down that drink.

I spread my wings when I had enough,
Enough of men who used me to feel tough.

And I flew high above the clouds
Right before my death I looked right into my shadow.
And she said, “I’ll see you again”
“You’ve won this fight, but not the battle”
186 · Apr 2020
Epistolary
Rocksteadylety Apr 2020
The birds and the bees
Morning electric
Afternoon zzzz’s
Temptation is the greatest treason
I’m trying to do the all the right things for the wrong reasons
Because you and me
We were epistolary
All the poems you wrote me
Hollow letters with no ink.
You say it was fun
I know it was fate
This is the last letter
I won’t sign it with hate
But if I never see you again,
It’ll be too soon
To get close to my heart
You’ll have to rip it from the ******* moon
8.12.18
153 · Mar 2020
Consciousness
Rocksteadylety Mar 2020
Those who seek clarity,
The purity of the mind
Beyond the science, beyond the lies
Leaving all facts behind

For what you are exists right here
For what you have arrived
What if you feel the way I do
For nothing but for mankind

Be known for being, not for doing
For saving yourself around to find

For what exists right here
For what you have arrived
What if you feel the way I do
For nothing but mankind
149 · Mar 2020
Andrew
Rocksteadylety Mar 2020
An artist with mad composition
A confused disposition
Double the list of failed repetitions
With pencil in hand, I looked at you.
I began.

And drew
pictures of what your insides might look like. Black and green, Strokes of yellow and tangerine
Like LA skies
I saw you in a dream
Now you’re right before my eyes
And I close. with pencil in hand
I began,
And drew
pictures of possible futures if you decided to hang
And drew
pictures of me with neatly ******* hands
Behind my back
With pencil in hand I drew your eyes looking at
Me.
Piercing
Unconditionally
If the divine did lead me
Double the reason
To have you in me
Deeply.
I had a muse I can use, with pencil in hand
I began
And drew
peaceful days with you by my side
And drew wild *** parties, ****** and chicken thighs
And drew you with me
And drew pictures of what that could mean
doesn’t matter to me
So long I see you in peace
So long I have with me
A pencil in hand, some paper
And so I began
131 · Mar 2020
Silver Owl
Rocksteadylety Mar 2020
I welcome the guides of the highest truth and compassion
To take me with you tonight
I’ve lost sight and all Passion.

On the corner of my bed
I got lost in the wall
Nothing was said
Nothing at all

I laid my head back, my attention to the ceiling.
Please take me now, I don’t like this feeling.

My sadness like then night air
I can’t touch or see it, but to painful to bare
“Take me, take me”
It became a prayer...

Silver owl that’s when I met you.
I was letting love down, and you didn’t let me
I was gonna stay down
Free me from me.
When I felt your warmth
Encompass me whole
And then I saw black,
In dream state I woke
Wondering what had become of my soul


You held me close
you whispered in my ear;
“I’ve been with you since you were born,
I’m here now my dear there’s no need to fear.
I was born of your mothers, mother
My energy is strong. Negativity I smother”

TRUST THE PROCESS
The ups, the downs
the highs, and the lows
This pain is a lesson,
the more you will know

You are now awake.
Open all three eyes.
This is a gift, You will seek truth from where there is lies.

I love you now and I will love forever
Wake up stardust
Begin your human endeavor

I woke up 12hours going on 29 years later.
I wrote this poem after I became spiritually aware on December 25th 2017
117 · Apr 2020
Kambo
Rocksteadylety Apr 2020
Ayer conosci el Poderoso Kambo
En una ceremonia, es veneno lo que te estan dando
Desde la espalda de una rana, tres puntitos a mi piel, vomito y me sana
Sana sana espaldita de rana
Te doy las gracias
Hoy me desperte con ganas
Y en mis sueños recorde esas memorias Lindas
Que atraves de trauma, tristesa, y abuso a ambos se nos olvida
Respiro profundo
Aire libre
Ranita venenosa tu medicina me sirve
Y por hoy vivire en el lla y en el presente
Algo que no e podido hacer ni tener en mente.
Despues de mi primer ceremonia de kambo
99 · Mar 2020
IN THE DESERT
Rocksteadylety Mar 2020
I came to the desert far far away
in the beam of the heat to find recluse,
and hide from la ley.

with a backpack and a few dollars
I could see me
I could almost see me
free
en el otro lado

but hardship and struggle does not care
whether or not i am truly blessed,
All they saw was the color of my skin
brown and oppressed
they ordered me to undress,
if i attest
i will die
need i tell you the rest?

I came to the dessert far far away
i came with a friend
we walked all day in this last day of may.
Its truly remarkable,
what true friendship beholds
when two people help each other perserver
like they should
i suppose.
This poem is the story of my fathers experience crossing the border through the desert.

— The End —