I may be smiling
But really,
Inside,
I want to scream,
For the hatred I have,
At myself,
For feeling this way.

Fat globs
Hit the window
Trickle down the pipe
Watery and cold
Accompanied by wind
And the night
Perishable by the hot midnoon sunshine
Raindrops;
Forgiven for their fat, wet drips
Of cloud tears

Blood, Lungs and Alcohol
Addiction, Hell and Help
How much more
Can Aidan take
Before he decides to die?

Painting in the secrets
Of a thousand lies
Is fun
As you get to paint in
How you see those lies

Let's paint our hair red
Of a thousand fires
So fun,
As you get to paint it
How you really want to

Aggressively painting canvases
Of a thousand depictions
It's fun
As you get to paint whatever
How you really see it

*Let's go paint something, sister.
Together.

They say blood is thicker than water,
But what does that really mean?
A poetic line,
A writer's meaning,
A philosophical wisdom,
All because,
Blood is thicker than water.

Touch Upon My Insanity
She whispers
Into the white walls
Touch Upon My Insanity
She cries
To the men and women in white coats
Touch Upon My Insanity
She screams
At the white buckled jacket
Encasing her
In a never-ending repetition of
Touching Upon Insanity

He watched,
She waited,
For the world to say,
'No more wars today'
But that will never happen,
And so,
He carried on watching,
And she carried on waiting.

If women have to suffer to be beautiful
Then why aren't I a goddess?

Clocks;
Ticking

Locks;
Clicking

Advice;
Taken

Leaves;
R­aked

The clocks
Are ticking

Tick, tick, ticking
Your life away

Your fate;
Chosen

Your death;
Imminent

Your breath
Stolen

Your heart rate;
Slowing

Your clock;
*Stopping

Party for One;
Yes that's right;
One, not two;
Not even three!
You heard me,
Party for One,
People are a ton
To handle
In groups
All claustrophobic
And bustling
And so,
This is it,
Party for One.

I have a heart made of daggers
That could slice your deadbeat life in two
But why should I waste my pity
Spending it all on you?

Oh honey, please.
I'm so done with your *******.

You want to fight? Fine.
Swing your punch, hit my face,
Nose getting ******,
Eyes swelling to the colour of purple grapes,
The hate of your punch clear
In the arrogant way you stand.

You want to fight? Fine.
You'll never beat the fury out of my words.

Brick by brick
I've built myself up
With words and phrases
That fit together

Brick by brick
I've built this wall
To keep myself safe
From harm and insults

Children are playing in the pools of tyrant kings,
Who died during the war,
Of justice, lust and fear,
The need for starvation and death are the shining little gems in the hearts of the Kings Queens,
Inhale the sweat of broken toys,
Who knew no more than heartless throwings,
And kiddies puberty which makes them forget,
The fun that they had,
Oh inhale, inhale, in jail,
Gang tattoos are removed,
So death wouldn't be nigh.

I have no hope
Of tomorrow ever appearing.

If I don't wake up today,
Put me to sleep tomorrow,
If I'm asleep today,
Lay down my sorrow for those who care,
If I never wake up,
Remember my voice as I hummed,
As I comforted,
As I lay you down to rest.

It's something ordinary
To love things beautiful,

But it really is something beautiful
To love the ordinary.

If you were on the road to nowhere,
where would you go?
If you were on the road to somewhere,
would you stay where you are?
If there was no road,
what would you do?
If the road was there,
would you carry on walking?
If the road you walked upon,
was somebody else's,
would you leave?
If the road you took,
leads to the end of yours,
would you bother turning back?
What would YOU do,
if the feet that led you,
took you onto a road,
that you didn't know about?

I've tasted life
I've tasted death
I've tasted hate beyond all control
I've tasted greatness
I've tasted love from friends
I've tasted honey beyond earthly sweetness
I've tasted pain
I've tasted ungodly jealousy
*I've tasted.

I'm here
Watching you fix your tie
With the grace of a clumsy seal
Who got drunk
On the verge of tomorrow
And the brink of today

I'm here
Watching you stride out
With the hopefulness of a child at Christmas
Who won't go to sleep
For Santa will arrive
At midnight

I'm here
Watching you speak to the crowd
With the confidence of a frightened duckling
Who were recently hatched
Out of an egg
And into the light

I always wondered
What it was like
To be someone else
Until I realised
It's fine to be me
Unique, singular, interesting
Different, flowing and free
All human
All me

Sometimes I get the urge to hug someone,
Really tight,
Not in a romantic way,
Just to feel someone caring for me as I do them,
Their arms like iron bars,
But as I said,
Not in a romantic way,
A way to prove that hugs are awesome,
And completely acceptable to hug for no reason,
Even if it's longer than expected,
Not in a romantic way,
Because I love you, friend,
More than the term friend warrants.
You're my sister.

I would like you to stop for a minute.
Look around.
What do you see?
Your mum? Your dad?
Maybe older or younger sibling(s)?
Do you have children?
Best friends?
Please. Stop for a minute.
Appreciate that not everything with those people is perfect.
Not you, not them.
But appreciate, even though they may not show it,
They love you.
The quirks, the ups and the downs,
The mood swings,
Appreciate them.
Care for them, love them,
Hold them,
Be there for them, even if they aren't always there for you.
Please. Appreciate every little thing.

Moonlight, Starlight,
Twinkle Bear Blue,
I've got a spell,
That's perfect for you,
One drop of night,
One ray of day,
And the joy of owning
Your very first kite,
Moonlight, Starlight
Little *Bear Blue.

Parents will warn;
Family will mourn;
Those friends who were lost;
To 'Stranger Danger'

But what they don't mention;
Are the Strangers;
Who don't mean any Danger;
The ones with a story;
Behind the scary looking scars;
And the bans from the bars;

But the pain;
The pain of being afraid;
Being ignored and spat upon;
Maybe you're the ones who are;
'Stranger Danger'

I'm in so deep
It's getting hard to tell
What is up and what is down

Hand in hand
Walking down the road
Skipping with an animal at our heels
or
Hand in hand
Screaming down a rollercoaster
Tears of laughter on our chins
or
Hand in hand
Watching a film in the cinema
Entranced with the popcorn in the adverts
or
Hand in hand
Right next to me
And not in my imagination

What does my ego say when it feels like I betrayed it?
*My apologies.

The sunset
Bleached orange
And tinged with pink
The sunrise
Melted with red
And streaked with white

I want to shrivel like a raisin
Curl up into a ball
From your rounded little basin (of friends)
Of all the torturers, you're the most cruel
I wish to stand up to you
But my knees are to bruised
For begging for forgiveness
And my lunch money too
But I can't and I shan't
And I never shall
As I'm the weak little girl
Bullied by *all

You smile sadly at the screen.
Watching.
Waiting.

You stare sadly at your thumbs.
Watching.
Waiting.

You laugh sadly at the joke.
Watching.
Waiting.

You watch your reflection sadly.
Watching.
Waiting.

Written, sung, and played,
Covered, piano, fingers splayed,
Words that flow, are gentle on the ear,
Ones that bring the eye a tear,
Ones that scream, shout, and cry,
Some people hate,
Others love, and embrace,
What music does,
It calms the heart,
And soothes through the veins,
Pulses to the brain,
And helps to save.

Truth is naked,
Forbidden.
Grossly unwanted.

Truth is naked,
Beautiful.
Strangely charming.

Truth is naked,
Shy.
Horribly amazing.

Truth is naked,
Blunt.
Strangely compelling.

Truth is naked,
And absolutely wonderful.

Planes crashing
Towers exploding
News covering
Tears forming
Men falling
Videos created
Uprise roaring
The whole world
Watches
Waits
In baited breath
Death all around
It started with a hijacking
Or maybe a bit before
But we are resilient
Brave
*We shall NOT be brought down screaming

C is for carpal.
Sounds a bit like the word carpet.

T is for tunnel.
Those things that danger is usually in.

S is for syndrome.
Can also be used to describe a lot of things.