A friend is someone
who is always there for you.
A friend is someone
who always on your side.

Right?

So why are my friends talking behind
my back?
So why do my friends despise everything
that comes out of my mouth?
So why are my friends slowly
withdrawing?

I'm not oblivious to it.
I get it.
You're tired of me now, you'll
move on.
Just like every other friend I've had.
And when you need me
again, this cycle will
start over.

Who am I kidding?
I'm just a socially awkward person
I'm average
In that giant group that's just there to fill up the world
Never destined to do something worthy of attention
Not popular, not a total loser
I'm the extra in the movie
I'm the character in a book that doesn't even have a name

I am motivated by this
Motivated by the fear of being average
I have to prove them wrong
Every single one who said
I couldn't
I can't
I would never

I can't rest until I'm out of that giant group
That mediocre crowd

I will be the best
I have to be the best

Should have known.
You were too perfect,
Not to be loved by another.

Silly of me.
Silly of me to think,
I could be the one.

I bet she means the world to you.
I bet you mean the world to her.
She must love the way you touch her.
You must love the way she touches you.

Silly of me.
Silly of me to think,
You might love me the way I love you.

So I'll just be here,
Waiting for what will never come.

My friends wonder why
I'm acting so care free,
so giddy.
They haven't put the pieces
together yet.
Like a picture that hasn't developed,
the result a secret.

You're my secret.

You're always in my mind,
constantly.
I can only focus on you,
and nothing else.
Like how cameras focus on one object
and blur everything else.

All our time together,
is stored in my mind forever.
Like the pictures I have of us,
tucked safely away in the shoebox
in my closet.

Growing up you want to be
Sleeping Beauty's knight
Snow Whites true loves kiss
Cinderella's prince charming
You want to be the reason
She has a happily ever after
Its all ******* fantasies
They never had a lick of truth behind them
False hopes for the young minds
Leading them to believe
Everything goes your way eventually
My happy ever after
Is everybody else's
Happily never ever
I find my solitude in the drugs
**** it all
The real me gets to run free
Carefree, **** it all
All those promises of me quitting
My happiness is in the alcohol
The whiskey of a dragons fire
Soaring down my throat
I want to get so ****** up
I have to look down to find heaven
So this prince of stupidity
Lived happily never ever
Drowning in a pool of his *****
Choking himself in mountains of anger
Always feeling like the last thing
On everyone's mind
Just a nuisance
Saying he loves her
Saying hello to him
It was all pointless to begin
So they lived happily ever after
When he finally shot himself.

A little over a week away from Christmas and it's seventy degrees in Philadelphia

In this household, the Christmas tree has no plans on going up this year and presents aren't in my near future

This is a summary of 2015

The air is cool and crisp today.
It's not cold, it's not biting,
It's an invigorating day, near the end of Autumn.
Children cavorting in the playground,
Kids playing basketball nearby.
An old man watching the children play.
A man and woman with their children,
Feeding the ducks and geese in the pond.
Walking by, the kids are having a wonderful time.
The ducks coming to them, eating from their hands.
Cavello gets excited and wants to play too.
Moving along on our walk,
A runner is resting, stretching, and rehydrating.
We smile at each other, in passing.
A squadron of Geese came in to land,
Heading at me in a perfect 'V'.
A beautiful sight.
What a great day for a walk.
A slight cool breeze,
I think I'll continue around the pond,
Just a few more times.