You once told me
That we're bound to
Be star-crossed lovers
Ill-fated by the Norns
Doomed to fail from
The very start

And so we remain
Perfectly unfinished
A bittersweet loose end
Beautifully haunting the
Back of my mind to
The end of my days

It’s easier to be mad at you than it is to admit that I miss you.
It’s easier to pretend to hate you than it is to admit that I love you.

I don’t think you’ll leave my mind any time soon.
Genuinely, You are the stars to my moon.
Honestly, I hope you never will; I hope it just gets easier on my heart.
I patiently wait to hear from you still, which honestly sounds really stupid—I swear to God, I’m actually pretty smart.

It may not seem that way because you’ve turned my world upside down.
I promise I don’t typically walk around with a constant frown.

I’m fine, really. I’m just trying to heal.
Most of the time, my brain tries to convince me that you’re not even real.

You see, my brain does this thing where it makes me forget.
You’d think that would be helpful during hard times like this.

And although it can be helpful, it also really hurts.
Because I don’t want to forget you,
Remembering that you exist keeps me from living in the dirt.

Okay, that may be dramatic, but I can’t really help it.
I’ve always had emotions too strong to control, but I’m trying my best to deal with it.

They say it’s a superpower, and I swear I’m trying to believe them.
Because honestly, it mostly feels like a curse, not a hidden gem.

My emotions have always controlled me, so I’m trying my best to learn to control them.
I figure it’s the best way to solve most of my problems.

You see, I am emotional, loving, and kind.
But most people don’t know that because I don’t let them into my mind.

But you? You’re stuck there. Like I said, you live rent-free. But I need to try to move on because I also understand that I need to let you be.

We both have demons that we’re fighting with every day.
Although I wish I could be there to help you fight yours,
I don’t want to stand in your way.

In the way of happiness,
The way of a future with her.
You see, I’d rather you be happy, even if it’s not with me—
Even though you are my clarity while everything else is a blur.

You see, that coping mechanism that I mentioned,
The one about subconsciously forgetting?
Yeah, well no matter how hard I’ve tried to fix it, I can’t; which is extremely frustrating and upsetting. Honestly, mostly I just find it so ******* confusing. I don’t ever have control over it, but I guess my feelings for you are the reason it’s diffusing.

When it comes to you, it’s hard to forget anything you said. When you spoke, it’s like my brain was writing down notes by carving them into my head.

Like, I remember your middle name and that you were born in March.
I even remember the color of your eyes and the way your smile has a slight arch.
You see, you mostly sent me pictures of your smirk, and I think I know why.
You’re busy fighting your demons so much,
Trying your best to forget, even if that means getting high.

So, you can’t genuinely smile much because you’re in so much pain.
I can relate and it makes my heart hurt,
And I wish I could help take it all away.

I could write for hours about you, but I should let my brain rest.
As I mentioned, you’re living rent-free in my head,
And I need to get some energy for tomorrow.
You see, every day I’ve really been failing the “I don’t miss you” test.

Your heart is so loving, so beautiful, so kind.
There’s not a single day now that goes by
That you’re not on my mind.

You’ve touched me in ways I’ve never been touched before.
You’ve touched me, yet you’ve never actually touched me before.
By that, I mean my soul felt found, as it’s always been lost.
I understand that putting yourself out there comes with a cost.

I am so thankful you exist and that our lives somehow crossed paths. I will miss seeing your smile; I will miss hearing you laugh.

My heart is bruised, my stomach in knots.
Many other people are shooting their shot,
But my basket is moving, swerving all of the *****.
I’m no longer interested in entertaining others;
I hope one day your heart calls.

You live rent-free in my head.
I think about you 25/8—if that even exists.
Who knows? You could be my soulmate.

I’ll never forget you, and boy, I don’t want to.
I hope one day you’ll let me love you.
You’ve made a dent in my brain the size of a crater.
This isn’t “goodbye”; this is simply “see you later.”

It’s not your fault.
12 days of knowing you; I practically love-bombed myself.
I should know better, that’s a me problem.

At least you were honest.
We barely know each other.
I can’t judge you at all.
Yeah, it still stings, but that’s a me problem.

Do what you want.
Do what’s best for you.
I’m a hopeless romantic; I crush too easily.
That’s a me problem.

Words are just words. I’ve always been gullible.
I clearly built this up in my head.
That was silly of me, but that’s a me problem.

I can’t have double standards.
Apparently, I still need to grow.
You knew her before I even existed to you.
That’s a me problem.

It’s not a big deal, even if my brain tries to make it so.
It’s valid to be disappointed and hurt.
But I need to remember, that’s a me problem.

I’m so stupid; You’re single.
You’re not committed to me.
I can’t be upset with you for just living your life.
That’s a me problem.

Truly, it’s no big deal. I’m fine, really I am.
You’re allowed to be happy, and I want you to be.
Don’t worry about me; that’s a me problem.

Words are so pretty, so beautiful, so addictive.
I thought we were on the same page, at least that was my perspective.

But words are just words; they have no meaning if the actions don’t match.
Our connection was so powerful; it was hard not to get attached.

Why do I do this every **** time?
God, my brain is so dramatic; I feel like I’m going to die.
Every word you said suddenly feels like a lie.
God, I feel so silly; shut up, don’t cry.

It feels like my heart is in my stomach, no air in my lungs.
It was going too well; I knew I shouldn’t have taken the plunge.
There’s a reason for the saying “too good to be true”.
Why did I think there was an exception when it came to you.

I finally thought I found what I have always been searching for.
Turns out, when one door closes, sometimes there are no more.

No more windows, no more doors to open, I mean.
Which at first I thought was fine, because for once I felt seen.
But it’s not fine, not at all; now I’m stuck in the house.
It’s burning; it’s on fire and I can’t get out.

You held the match and at first it was keeping me warm.
Now she’s at your place and my heart is torn.
The flames are spreading and I can’t find an escape.
You said “talk to you later”, but I’m worried it’s too late.

The warmth now burns and it’s starting to cause pain. Now I’ll be up all night overthinking; won’t be able to calm my brain.

I understand you’re lonely, but you’re not the only one. I won’t judge you for this, but I hope you know what you’ve done.

They say a crush is just a lack of information and now I’m starting to think that’s true.
I got attached to your words and your potential, but I’ll never know if any of it was the real you.

The house is on fire and burning to the ground. It was silly of me to imagine what I’ve always been searching for was finally found.