will the ache in my bones ever end ?
was it magic or fate
flowing through our veins ?
whatever it was has intoxicated my brain.
and i'm swallowing stardust
i'm feeling numb
my heads higher than the clouds
cause i finally found the one
you move your tongue
you are serotonin and dopamine
i'm so high
but drug free
he's a Saturday morning sunrise
he's a best friend
and the love of my life
he's a warm cup of coffee
he's a late night movie
he's everything i wanted
and everything love should be
that’s the only lullaby I’ll ever need
So keep letting your heart beat sing me to sleep
you told me you loved me a thousand times
you didn't say it with you voice
you said it with your eyes
you saturate my darkest nights
with all the colors that lay in your eyes
and if i never find another soul to love, i'll be okay with yours being the last.
maybe it will never change
maybe we will still be flowers on the side of the road
still no place to call home
but still flowing in our veins is the wildness and adventure that
we’ve always known to be
we would be gleaming with vivd colors.
still trying to survive
the bitter cold
when winter comes along, and someone doesn’t stop to pick you next and we will be left
something once so beautiful and fragile
now lifeless and limp.
maybe the hesitation that ached below my skin
when i met you, was something i shouldn't have ignored.
we waltz in perfect time at the end of the line
back and forth
with a face full of smiles
with a heart full of ache
that the music will soon be over
and so we will.
but just for an extra moment
i get to hold you near me.
when do i miss you the most?
when the air conditioner is freezing cold?
or i just burnt breakfast because i got caught up kissing you good morning ?
or when i can't let go of you and its 11:30am and we've already missed the chance to get donuts at the drive thru?
I never thought i'd actually miss you.
you woke up all alone
in the same bed we shared for 2 years
i bet you can still feel my bones
underneath the sheets
how many times have you tired to wash them clean.?
i think we’ve all fallen down a time or two in life.
it's the ways we’ve chosen to get back up that makes us powerful
trying to read someones intentions are confusing , they may look like their staying. But they've already stepped a foot out the door.
we used to be like magnets
if we got close we knew we couldn’t separate.
if we got to far apart, there was still a strong
sensation that kept pulling us together.
but we kept breaking down into small bits
and began to scatter.
we lost our strength,
now i’m not sure if our souls will
ever reattach to each other again .
Like two thunderstorms that came
From opposite directions
And caused mass destruction
That’s exactly what happened when our souls met
my hopes are so high
i hope they don't crash
because i'm not sure
if they'll survive the landing
my dreams had faded
like photos that had been hanging
on the walls for too long
once the summer sun
starting sizzling outside
as the seconds went by.
You taught me a lesson, and that was to never trust again.
i left my happiness out for too long
its beginning to rot away.
i've forgotten how to put it up,
so its just turn to decay.
maybe i should have preserved it.
and never walked away.
but now forever gone,
and i'm the only one to blame.
sometimes i miss waking up next to
but if i woke up to a body that wasn't yours
i'd be disappointed
how do i fix myself when
i don't even know what broke me
in the first place.
I’ve sunken down into dark holes
That I’ve dug myself.
The blisters are throbbing on my palms.
I know the way out.
But what lies above
Are the things that scare me.
And I’m hoping that hiding will heal me.
you’ve stolen so much of my soul,
i’m still trying to remember who i was
i was so desperate to hear the liquor induced
"i love you "
that oozed from your lying lips.
They remind us of the past
They remind us of the pain
They remind us we can heal
They remind us we have a future
I was missing a few pieces
But every time you tried to
Glue them back on me
They would fall off
the room was empty but it was filled with boxes of our things.
my hopes and dreams for us,
your secrets and lies.
you kept them taped up tight,
and every month that passed by you began to unbox them
one at a time.
and when i lost you,
it allowed me to become someone new.
my mistakes have been haunting me
they begin to cover me like a rain storm
when i've forgotten my umbrella
and i can't find my car keys while digging in
the bottom of my leather purse
its drowning me
but i can still breathe
I thought seeing you would help me heal.
I’m currently trying to patch up the wounds I just reopened.
how do I begin to
let my mind process the thoughts
of giving my body to someone else?
when I don’t even feel like its mine in
the first place.
i wasn't aware of the pain you felt.
but if i could have taken it from you,
i'd let it skin me alive.
its throbbing inside my soul
like a tooth ache.
- wanting to love you again
my body has been aching
it feels worse than the flu i had
when i was a 10 year old child
lifeless and limp
food doesn’t taste the same
my face is starting to look different
its settled into my veins now
and i’m not sure i’ll recover
- you're the virus in my body
i'll forever deny that i still love you
and everyone knows thats the
biggest lie i'll ever tell
I would have traded hearing you tell me
I don’t love you anymore
For every bone in my rib cage to shatter
It would have ached less
i was angry
how did they not care for you
the innocent boy with blonde hair
blue eyes and
listening to the worst stories my ears have ever heard
the new towns, new homes, new schools
living in fear
at such a young age
you never had a permeant place to call home
until you met me
as i dangled
as i danced
i no longer could use my voice
nor my own breathe
i was your puppet
on a string
and you controlled every
part of me
my body went into shock
it was like watching a terrible
accident happen right before my eyes
my adrenaline is pumping
my heart is racing
i feel like i've lost all control
sick to my stomach
something i can't quite comprehend
or make sense of
-watching you love someone else
you got stuck
in that same
place you begged me
to help you out of
like quick sand
now all i can do is
and watch you drown
in your past
you crept in my window
in the middle of the night
to steal all i had
right from me
nothing left in sight
place your hands around my
and now i can't breathe
the loneliness has robbed me
i'm afraid to see the dentist
it isn't the drill
or the long needle
that presses into your gums
that terrifies me
its the numb
for so long i couldn't feel a thing
but it finally wore off one day
and i don't want to know
that that feels like anymore
you knew i could take care of them
i could nurture them
you orphaned your demons
at the doorstep of my soul
now they’ve started their chaos inside of me
- i can’t adopt them
i wish i could make you disappear from my mind
- i'm no magician
saying i love you
to get you to stay
was like burning my
tongue on a sip of black coffee
-its scorching me
every time i see you, it's like looking into the sun
- it hurts