Another night as I lie awake somewhere in between this realm and the next
I hold myself the way I've done for so long
Missing something that feels so distant yet phases in so close to reality
Processing....
Dissociative dimension loading....
Physically here, mentally checked out
Overthinking taking the wheel
Not real, not real, not real
Pain, so much pain. Can't get it out of my head.
A figment of my imagination; it's clutches digging deep into my heart
Don't leave me
I'll be okay I have to be
Smile
I'm fine I promise (I'm not)
Blink away the tears that threaten to fall
Emotion consumes
Resolve
You're so strong they say
Voices whisper 'give up'
I don't wanna give up
There's still so much I want to do
Please help me
I'm not strong enough, but I'm a good person I swear
Hold me I'm begging
Tell me everything will be alright
Just once that's all I need
I'll never ask for anything else
I won't be an inconvenience anymore
I don't know anymore
Let go, let go, let go
Release control

Puppy, Play, Pet, Pleased
I sit on the floor next to you my head in your lap as you caress my hair.
So soft and pliant underneath your fingers.
I nuzzle your thigh and you cup my cheek.
"Such a good sweet boy."
I melt under your praise.
"Look at me.", and as I do you kiss my forehead, my eyelids, my nose, my chin, and my slightly parted lips.
I'm yours completely.
You lead and I follow.
Every step I fall for you.
Deeper, my heart is in your hands.
A red ribbon seems to bind us together.
Consent, Content, Connection, Calm.