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Jul 10 · 88
Reina Franco Jul 10
You left, and that was it.
What happened to the beautiful days?
We were still alright when the sun rose,
What happened when the sun sets?
I’ve been grateful for every day with you,
How can I be grateful now that you’re gone?

You were once my peace,
Now I can’t be at peace.
So many questions left unanswered,
Not a single word, not a chance for goodbye.
I opened my eyes, and that was it.
I didn’t know, but I wish I did.

On my Nadir, I am now to be found.
Regrets, tell me, which one?
Where to go? How to continue?
Today, I bleed and grieve,
And I guess, this is just it.
Reina Franco Feb 5
Let me love you - incessantly,
Like the earth revolving the sun.
So gentle and subtle,
in full awe of the galaxy.
As I am in awe -
of your gentle heart,
and subtle soul.

Let me love you - deeply,
As deep as the ocean.
For I was drowning,
and you saved me -
from the uncertainty, and
madness locked in this world.
You are my safe harbor.

Let me love you - profoundly,
as vehement as the wind.
For you are such -
a very precious being
that breathes,
the calm on the verge
of my storm.
You are my oasis.

Let me love you - closer,
Close enough for you
to feel the warmth of my arms
- arms that won't let you go
even if things go wrong,
to keep you safe in an infinite bliss
where peace and quiet reigns,
where contentment is viable.

Let me love you - a little more,
with the best version of myself
- devotedly, than I have ever
loved anyone else.
In every possible way, I could.
To do it again and again, I would.
Because deserving,
indeed you are.
An answered prayer,
oh yes you are.
Feb 2018 · 925
Pinagpala (ng Maykapal)
Reina Franco Feb 2018
Masakit na nakaraan,
tayo'y kapwa mayroon.
Syang dahilan ng ating takot,
Huwag ng balikan, bagkus
Sa isa't isa halina't kumuha
ng bagong lakas,
ng bagong simula,
at ng bagong pag ibig.

Tila sinadya ng tadhana,
Tayo'y sinaktan at tinuruan muna,
Upang sa araw ng pagtatagpo,
Kapwa tayong nakahanda.
May dahilan ang lahat, ika nga.

Ilang sulok na ba ng mundo,
Ang ating nilakbay?
Ilang tao na ba ang sinubukan
kilalanin at sinugalan?
Gaano karaming luha na ba,
ang pumatak at naubos?
Ilang beses na ba?
At ilang beses pa ba?
Nandito na ako, hindi ba?
Nandito ka na rin,
Nandito na tayo,
Palalagpasin pa ba?

Sa malayuan, mananalangin na lang ba?
Sa malayo, mangangarap na lang ba?
Aasa na lang ba sa malayo?
Magmamahal na lang ba sa malayo?
Hanggang sa malayo na lang ba ang lahat?

Humawak ka lang sa akin,
Pangako, hindi kita bibitawan.
Buksan mo ang iyong mata,
ang ganda ng bagong pagkakataon,
pangako, ipapakita ko sayo.
Maaari ka rin pumikit,
Damahin mo ang aking haplos,
pangako, ikaw lang ang mamahalin
pangako, sa iyo, ako'y tapat.

Huwag ka ng matakot, mahal ko.
Tayo'y magtiwala sa Diyos,
Sapagkat Siya ang may akda,
Ng istorya ng ating pagtatagpo,
Ng kwento ng ating pagmamahalan.
Huwag kang sumuko, mahal ko.
Huwag tayong susuko, mahal kita.
Sep 2017 · 1.5k
The soldier is my hero
Reina Franco Sep 2017
It's raining. Hard. Real Hard. In this train full of people. Some were sleeping, some were standing. While I was sitting on my own with my earphones on. It's raining. And I am thinking of what it takes to be a hero.

What is a hero? Have I ever met a hero of my own?

My idea has always been someone who would die for a country, or someone who would sacrifice for someone else. But does it really require dying and sacrificing? What about those who are still alive and living? Ah! The soldiers, indeed they are.

I know of a different and unique soldier. Whom I met up close on the 3rd of June 2017. He was young and beautiful, a little naive, and so were his dreams. He's a soldier for he's battling with his very own self in search of his own life's purpose, of his own self-worth, and of his own love. I believe that his battle is still on, but what makes him the soldier that he truly is, is by the little yet significant things he does for someone else.

My soldier is such a nice and gentle man. He is hardworking, persevering, and well determined to pursue his passions.  He always think of the safety of others and of how can he be of any help for them. And he would really get out of his way just to help you. Like accompanying somebody to the hospital just because she has a sick grandfather and is carrying a big ecobag full of adult diapers and underpads. Staying with someone inside the van because it's raining and he just can't allow that someone to lurk alone in the dark and to get wet by the rain.

He's the type who would text you all day to know of your whereabouts so he can wait for you to give you a free ride on your way home, everyday. And if he didn't get to ride you home, he'll stay up all night texting you to make sure that you arrived safe and sound, and only then he could sleep.

He will steal glances at you when you're not looking, and smile away if you ever caught him. He will annoy you and tease you until your stomach hurts while laughing and until you lovingly pinch him, and he will lovingly pull your hand for him to hold to make you feel loved. He will wrap his arms around your waist to pull you close so he can embrace you to make you feel like you are some kind of wonderful. And he will look at you as if you are the only person he sees at the moment.

He's the person to go to after a long tiring day to rant about how your egotistic workmate ruined your day, and he will calm you and tell you to just let it pass and think of him instead because he knows he can make you smile by the very thought of him. He's the person you can share your messy thoughts and whirlwind growing up story with, yet he still thinks you are an amazing woman and will never judge you. And he'll be your best friend. He'll even bring you himself to the hospital should you have your sudden asthma attack, and he'll be worried of you whenever you're sick and ill.

He will share his dreams with you, and he will need you to support and encourage him to go get them and to live his life to the fullest. And he will thank you for it and will send you plenty of kiss and monkey emojis and your favorite heart symbol to let you know that he appreciates you and will encourage you to do the same with your life. He will tell you how much he loves to eat chocolate bread alongside his meal and he will invite you for dinner because he wants to eat it with you and because he knows that you are hungry.

He will pout on you if he knew you've had more than 2 cups of coffee in a day and if you ever got yourself wet by the rain. He's jealous if you try to mention some other guy but will try his best to hide how he feels. That's him, he's not much of a talker but you know that his heart and actions speak otherwise.

He could be your partner-in-crime should you have the lazy urge to get a leave from work, or if you want to have some roundtrip joyride just because you don’t want to go home yet. He will tickle you from time to time, and will kiss you if he has the chance to. He will pick you up at 5am, then he'll make love to you all morning as he tells you that you are some **** and beautiful woman, then you'll have lunch together, and finish your extraordinary day watching movie at a cinema in a newly opened mall as you two try to bully that hardworking janitor mopping the floor.

He's a hundred fold stubborn, ironic, silly, childlike, selfish, foolish and impulsive at times. But you will love him even more because of them. And you are lucky enough that you were able to get to see those traits that makes him the imperfect yet the real man that he is. He will never ask you to wait for him, but because you are more stubborn than he is, you will still wait anyway. And he'll teach you what it's like to love somebody unconditionally because he will attempt to leave you and to bid you goodbye for several times, and you still want him, and love him anyway. He will give you the feels that you haven't felt for a long time. He will make you feel alive, more alive than ever before. He'll give you a sanctuary in his arms, and he'll be your peace and you know you don't have to ask for anything and for anyone else. And you will never want to loose him ever.

He will help you appreciate all the good things in life, every great thing there is, and you'll see that everything happens for a reason and that every thing is a blessing. You will experience what Carpe Diem means. He will complete your day in a way that no one else ever has. He will deepen your faith because you will end up staring at him while praying to The Lord, crying, thanking Him for bringing this man to your life and that He may never take him away from you and that He'll grant you a lifetime to spend together with. Because with him, everything just feel so right sooo **** right like all the stars out there and destiny itself are bringing you closer to each other and nothing could separate you apart and that together, nothing seems impossible.

This soldier will do everything to make you happy, and to see that smile on your face. He will never want to see you sad and even more to see you cry. But just like any other soldier, there's always a sacrifice that he had to make; and that is he will break your heart to let go of you and set you free because he thinks that you don't deserve him... Because he doesn't have the courage to tell you that he loves you, and he thinks that that's the way he can prove that he really do loves you.. That he'd rather be your friend, and you'd rather be his friend.

And that's the soldier whom I loved and adored so dearly. Yes, I have found one. He is the hero of my own. And because I love him, I have no other choice but to accept and live every day that I can only be his friend. But being his friend doesn't mean that I would stop loving him. For he just gave me a new beginning. The beginning of loving him from afar. The beginning of resting my faith with fate and of trusting the power of true love.

To love such hero has been one of the best privilege I could ever have my entire life. And I am always so proud of him. And the hardest part of loving my hero is to reciprocate the sacrifice he made for me, to let go..

It's not going to be easy, it will never be. For I will have to face my every day alone with a broken heart, longing for his presence. Because he was the hero who has made my heart whole again, and so he's the one who can tear it up again. But if it will make him happy, then maybe he's better off without me because I will never be enough. How can a hero possibly deserve some woman like me who just happened to love him in such unrequited way. Just some woman who made him her world. Just some woman whose own battle is to fight for his love.

But to me, my life will never be the same again because he will always be, my love, my friend, my soldier, and MY HERO. And I would still choose to be with him on both good and bad times all over again. I would still choose to have my heart broken by him if it's the only way for us to fall in love again. And I would fall in love with him all over and over again all the days of his life with every ounce of love left in me. And I will always love him and wait for the day that he shall finally win his battle that he doesn't have to search anymore, because (hopefully) he knew he had found him, he had found me, and he had found us. And we shall win every battle yet to come, together.

And so you see? A hero doesn't have to die to become one. Sometimes, he just needs to love. You just need to love him irrevocably in order to bring out the best out of the soldier in him.
Not a true story. Wrote this while riding the Metro Rail Transit on a stormy day, and yes, there are soldiers inside the train.
Jul 2017 · 493
To Theo, My Love
Reina Franco Jul 2017
On the passenger side, I sat
Carrying my frustrations,
heartaches, and vulnerability.
Looking straight at the road,
Lost in my wilderness,
Trying to ponder,
"What is happening?"

I looked to my left, then
There was you, Theo.
On the driver seat,
spinning the car wheel,
leading the driveway, and
Maneuvering the destination.
Without knowing,
"where the real destination is?"

You looked to your right,
Our eyes have met, finally.
Bespoke to one another,
How each of our hearts broke,
Our longing, and anticipation
Of the next that is yet to come.

Day after day, night after night
Our communication hasn't stopped.
As if sleep, was our only enemy.
For every chance, every day,
on the same vehicle,
in which we met,
there was only bliss and hope.

Not until one Monday afternoon,
On a sudden depth,
every bliss and every hope vanished.
"What happened?" I pondered,
this time.
The answer, I tried to seek.
Your presence, I sought for.
I had nothing, nothing
but faded memories, and
Blurred dreams for the two of us.

On the passenger side, now I can't sit.
Frustrated, heartbroken, and vulnerable, once again, I am.
I looked to my left, now you're gone. You looked to your right,
someone else's eyes you've met.
But no, this can't be..

Theo, my love.
Oh how you changed my life,
You have no idea, I'm sure.
You are the sun that shines bright throughout my day,
You are the gravity that holds me down in every way.
You are the moon that shimmers throughout my night,
You are stars that glimmer oh so bright.

You are the oxygen that keeps me alive,
You are my heart that beats inside.
You are the blood that flows through me,
You are every color, and every love song, there is.
You are both my answered and unanswered prayer.
You are the one more chance,
I never thought I'd find.
You are the only guy I can see now.
As if you are my everything now.

I never want to lose you.
I want to be with you for every day and every moment, there will be.
Oh my Theo, why do I fear?
Why am I so jealous?
But hopeful, I must be.
To stay in love with you,
Still I want to be.

Over a period of time
I got to know the real you. 
My Theo, so caring and gentle 
with a genuine heart so true. 
I told you I'd never leave 
because of the feelings I have inside.
Of the destination, we are to go to, 
Maybe I'll just let you, and time
befriend each other.
If it is meant to be,
time will remove the wall.
My love shall open your heart.

I love the way we are together.
You can always make me smile. 
Will our love can ever really be true? 
I guess I will have to wait awhile. 
And see what lies ahead, 
but always remember 
what I have said. 
Meeting you has changed my life, 
and I really love you so, Theo.

Oh my Theo,
such a blessing you are to me.
Open your heart for me, my love.
Seize every love I have for you,
Let go of the rest, and Carpe Diem.
The feelings I feel for you 
I am never letting go. 
Remember me always,
Theo, my love.
I hope and pray that one day,
finally you will, too.
Feb 2016 · 913
(Ripped) 10 words
Reina Franco Feb 2016
I am too shattered
to be ripped apart
once more.
Jan 2016 · 355
Again, I love you..
Reina Franco Jan 2016
Again, I love you..
I just do. And I really do.
I miss you though
I realistically haven't met you
properly yet.

I love you more than
you could possibly know
because you are not just
my other half, you are better yet
my very world and my life.

I apologize for being
so mercurial at times, please know
that it is just because I care
so much and having to bear
the longing and the waiting for you,
for more than 3 years
was like having to die
repeatedly every day.
Jan 2016 · 893
Miserable Mishap
Reina Franco Jan 2016
She sat by the mainstream area,
its ubiquity reminds her of such
hunkering for a man's silhouette,
stationed and immobile, beside her.

She spun her head, noticing
how candidly dull everything, and
everyone is. Yet, realizing among
it (and them) all, it was her--
the most unfortunate of all.

She felt the solitude, for herself.
Reckoning where to go, and
what to do. Whether to blame
herself, or to curse the world
for her miserable mishap.

She needed the prowess, so
she picked up that piece
of tissue paper to write on.
She poured out,
disgorged her thoughts. And,
on that moment, for once
at least, such miserable mishap
into a blessing in disguise
had transformed to.

She became a poet,
at least for once.
Nov 2015 · 478
The Hollow Shell
Reina Franco Nov 2015
This hollow shell, inside
dwells something intangible,
that may be felt, excruciatingly.
For in this cavity,
there's no one else, nor
nothing else. Only, or
perhaps, this solitary state.
No air to breathe,
no bed of roses to lie upon,
neither a warmth to neutralize
the cold, and empty space
that fills the hollowness.

There's plenty of room to insert to,
and lots of something to be inserted.
May the heavens forbid them,
I won't mind. What matters truly,
at this point in time, is
to have something, or someone.
Than to actually have,
nothing and no one.

This hollow space, is
A battle, alone I had to win.
A longing, alone I had to withstand.
Nov 2015 · 327
Just Love Her
Reina Franco Nov 2015
How can it be known?
If with abhorrence,
    you are filled with.
How can it be felt?
If being inconsolable,
     was all you ever did.
Whatever's lost is lost,
all that's damaged are damaged.
The cure to oblivion,
    please remember, is
    to cognize -- LOVE.

Just love.
Love her.
Nov 2015 · 5.4k
Ang Pagtangi Ni Rochelle
Reina Franco Nov 2015
Tulad ng kahit sino,
siya'y isa ring hamak
na nilalang na naghahanap
ng pag-ibig, at iibigin.
Hanggang isang araw,
ika'y kaniyang nakita
mula sa malayo.
Matangkad ka, kung kaya't
agad niyang napansin ang iyong tikas.
Kasing tikas mo ang damdamin,
sa kanya'y umusbong
alinsabay sa iyong pagdating.

Sa tuwing ika'y kaniyang nakikita,
siya'y lihim na napapangiti.
Ang liwanag na minsan ng nakubli
sa kanyang araw-araw,
ay iyong ibinalik.
Binigyang sibol mo ang pananahimik
ng kaniyang puso na minsa'y
napabayaan at nasaktan.

Kaya't salamat sayo,
bagama't hindi pa siguro
Upang iyong malaman,
itong espesyal na pagtangi
na sa iyo'y kanyang inilaan.
Marahil, sapat na muna
na ika'y kanyang masilayan
kahit man lamang,
sa malayuan.
Nov 2015 · 3.3k
Ipinagkait na Pag - Asa
Reina Franco Nov 2015
Ilang taon na ang nakalipas
ng huli kong masilayan
ang haplos ng pag-asa.
Ang paghangad na makapiling ka,
na siyang nabaon lamang
sa alikabok ng kahapon.

Halintulad sa isang bangungot,
ang sakit at pait na kanyang dinulot.
Kahit anung pagsusumidhing magising
ang gawin, hindi matanggal-tanggal
ang sakit at bakas ng pag-asang
paulit-ulit na binigo.

Sa mataimtim na panalangin,
sinubukan kong idaan.
Huwag lamang bumitiw
sa pangakong dala ng pag-asa.
Sa bandang huli, subalit
akin ring napagtanto,
mga naturing na panalangin,
para bang mga salita,
na isinambit lamang sa alapaap,
hindi dinidinig ng nasa Itaas.

Kaya't ako'y sumusuko na.
Tama na. Sukdulan na
ang pighati ng aking puso
na umaapaw sa kirot,
na nagdurugo dahil
sa ipinagkait na pag-asa.

Parang isang pilas na papel,
na sinulatan at minarkahan
para lamang lukutin, itapon, at
nagmistulang balewala --
walang isinulat at hindi sinulatan.
Nov 2015 · 2.6k
Reina Franco Nov 2015
For my craving, satisfy me
of this spicy, loathsome
inclination of my restless soul.
You, from the Caribbean Sea--
Santiago, let your
ambrosia signifies of how
your people colloquially
refers you, as "Rock".

Santiago, a refuge
you were once for the Jews.
As desirably firm as you are,
abolish me of these crisp desires
for they renders me with nothing,
but mere pertubation.

Oh Santiago, obscure me
inside your dry rain - shadow
areas, relatively.
For a while, conceal me
so I may somehow be
healed of this tempestuous outburst.

Sing me a lullaby, Santiago.
With such unique culture
of yours, infect me.
To be vibrant, and
to become Jamaican.
Nov 2015 · 446
Who Knows?
Reina Franco Nov 2015
On this chilly café
    independently, I sat.
To this Toffee Nut
    Frappuccino, I sipped.
With my never ending reverie
    called “self-pity”,
I am consumed.

Paved way for this
    sudden urge to get
    my purple-inked pen, and
    my nasty leather brown notebook,
    from my old blue sling bag.

What to write?
Believe me, I have no idea.
I just feel like to scribble
    this nonsense out from
    my littered thoughts, and
    disarrayed emotions of this
    solitary state called “singlehood”.

For where are those shoulders
     to lean on?
Where are those hands to hold?
Where are those sparkling eyes
    that stares back?
Where are those?
Where are those?

When can I ever
    have someone to share
    this table with?
When can I ever
    hear another heartbeat
    next to mine?
When can I ever read my poetry
    to this “special one”?
When can I?
When can I?

So now, five minutes left
    is all I have.
I’ll be packing my things now,
    stop this senseless scribbling,
    head to the office,
    with coffee on my hand.

This reverie, I must halt.
To rather remind myself:
   “Hey, today’s a brand new day.
     and who knows?
     *Who Knows?”
Oct 2015 · 239
Where Art Thou?
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Hello, my friend.
Alone, I feel today.
Beside me, just my radio
playing of melancholy;
My book, speaking of dreams
I once held close aspiring to.
On my other side,
An empty chair,
Waiting for someone, maybe,
To share this longing with;
An empty glass, waiting to be filled
To once again, make me feel whole.

Dear friend,
Would you mind?
To sit beside me?
To fill my empty glass?
To tune in the radio?
To turn the pages of the book?
And so I, will be alone,
no more.
Oct 2015 · 325
Here With Me
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Sit beside me
by the sunset of your thoughts,
let me be the dawn,
shining upon you.
Hold my hand,
in your solitude,
make me your solace.
Lean on my shoulder,
amidst your fears’ violence,
I shall be your armor.
Feel my embrace,
in the coldness of despair,
I will keep you warm.
Whisper in my ears,
your heart’s torned pieces,
for in between its spaces,
I shall love you better.
Oct 2015 · 226
One of these days
Reina Franco Oct 2015
One of these days
To me,
You’ll find your way.
You’ll whisper me words
for a while,
I haven’t been hearing.

In the eyes,
you’ll look at me
like you never did before.
At last, you’ll confess,
it is beating for me,
your heart does.

Hence, my dreaming
you inhibited.
For it really is,
And so be it, maybe
Just one of these days.
Oct 2015 · 270
I Thwarted
Reina Franco Oct 2015
I thwarted,
For I see myself falling.

I thwarted,
Because it doesn’t seem
Like you’ll catch me.

I thwarted,
Knowing I am alone.

I thwarted,
Since I always had, and
Seeming like,
I always will.
Oct 2015 · 508
From him to me
Reina Franco Oct 2015
December 4, 2012

Thank you, honey.
What more can a man say
to the woman who opened her heart to him,
allowing him to feel
the warmth of her love
across the great distance that separates them?
You truly have no idea
what I feel for you.

I try to put this feeling into words,
but fail miserably.
This feeling of being both scared and
at peace, of having both butterflies
and a sense of calm, is
a feeling that I have only dreamed about.

As the days continue to pass,
my love for you continues to grow.
I never thought I had the capacity
to love anybody as much as I love you right now.
Yet, my love for you continues to mature,
growing beyond the realm of my heart.

It seems that you have become
the fiber of my soul,
the very reason for my existence.

I have no other words
to describe the way you make me feel.
No words, no actions could even come close.
I believe that Ronald Regan said it best
to Nancy in a letter, telling her only that,
“I more than love you”.

Their love was a strong love,
surviving everything, even death.
I believe that even after his passing,
Nancy felt Ronald’s love for her
raining down upon her.
That is why she has always
seemed at peace after the death
of such a truly loving husband.

That is the love that I feel for you.
Honey it seemed that I had nothing,
and now I feel I have it all.
And it is all due to you, and you alone.

Well, I should probably say
that I love you and miss you and
that this has got to be harder
than anything that I have ever done,
being this close to you but
yet so far away.
Oct 2015 · 450
Reina Franco Oct 2015
What is it in you that makes me so vulnerable?
What is it that you do that I can’t get enough of?
What is it that you’ve said that makes me
catch my breath every time?

Masungit man ako, but still I have a heart,
a heart that beats your name,
a heart filled with love only for you.
I barely say it, I often express it
through pagsusungit because
I cannot find the right words to say.

To tell you HOW MUCH I love you
for no words will ever be enough
to express how I feel.
I don’t know how to tell you
that I fear of each day of having
to be far away from you,
that I dread the idea
of the possibility of losing you
to other women.

And I am afraid of having
to wake up tomorrow
without you loving me, and
me not loving you.
I can’t stand those thoughts,
but I shall admit that
they linger inside of me
because I love you this much
that I am afraid of the many things
that could happen out of this doom
that our relationship is going through.

I hope you understand these things
I’ve been trying to conceal through my childish acts,
sa pagsusungit ko, specifically.
Hindi ko sinasadyang magsungit,
I’m not aware of it sometimes, but
whenever you confront me about it,
that’s the only time I realize
and ask myself why.

I hope I gave you the answer,
I hope this clears us out.
I love you, if I am to be blamed
for loving you, then I shall be guilty.
If I am to be accused
for the crime of loving you, then
I shall face the sentence bestowed for me.
Oct 2015 · 248
Half Past The Darkness
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Half past the darkness
in solitude, I once lived.
Obscured in a room was freedom,
where hope is nowhere to be found.

A candle without a kindle,
a corner freezing in sorrow,
a heart that was left broken,
excruciatingly, accompanied with pain.

Tomorrow, I have learned to hate.
Another day, I have learned to forget.
Shadow, I became to befriend.
Alone, I became to embrace.

Half past the darkness
another being came for me to live.
Imminent in a room is freedom,
where hope is everywhere to be found.

A candle igniting a kindle,
a corner melting in enthusiasm,
a heart repairing itself,
poignantly, recovering from pain.

Tomorrow, I am beginning to love.
Another day, I am beginning to anticipate.
Shadow, fading obscurely.
Alone, I am no more.

Half past the darkness
God sent this being to me.
The reason may be unknown, but
enlightened today I am,
the vision of hope, and
the name of his, I have come to know.
Oct 2015 · 459
Cy Ia Ica
Reina Franco Oct 2015
In the morning light I gazed
a new day brought by the sun’s blaze, then
I asked for the Almighty Father’s grace
that today I may see your handsome face.

Imagining you from not so far, yet
existing between us a distance so far.
Amidst this stretch of land, help me uphold
the glory of being with you, is yet to unfold.

To look straight in your eyes,
to be captured by the goodness of your heart,
few of my desires, so dear
will you stay with me as I aspire?

The time is out of my hands,
but to have faith with fate is mine.
The positivity of waiting I possess,
the positivity of waiting, will you possess?

I gave you my word back then,
we will see each other, it will happen.
To you, I will stay invincible, and
For you, I will BE invincible.
Oct 2015 · 378
Walking On My Own Crossroad
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Now’s exactly 07:33 in the evening of May 03, 2011:

Time is ticking round the clock
hanged on my bedroom wall
just above the upper right corner
of my room’s door.  
As I watched the secondhand
tics-and-tocs over again for several times,
completing a day, I have come to reflect
how did I spend every second of my life
since the day my heart had fallen over him.

I came to think of this question
I am now asking myself while writing,
“Does each second of my time,
of how my life had been
is really worth counting for??”.

I closed my eyes, a tear dropped slowly
one after the other as I clicked every letter
on the keyboard of this very laptop
I am using now.
I hate to admit of how I truly feel
at this moment of my life,
in the middle or perhaps
I am now heading to the END
of these events about him and me,
what hurts even more
is having my confusion or
if it is a mistake that I have said
“him and me” in this statement.

Was there really been “US”?
the “him and me” I used to know,
to believed in, to loved, and to fought for.

A moment of silence.
I looked at my hand, my left hand
which he first held on the first time we met.
I can still feel his warmth,
his touch which happened
to have touched my heart too.
His touch has had me wishing
I could feel it again,
feel HIM again.

Nobody knows of how I exactly feels now,
not any person in this world knows
how much I am hurting and
that I am hurting still.
I always seem to be okay, fine,
happy and cheerful in front of other people’s eyes.
I have been a great pretender,
I have been wearing a mask
to hide myself from the reality
which I never dreamt of happening.

These scars he had left upon me
has not healed yet, I even wonder
would they ever heal on their own.
I believe they will,
I just don’t know how long
will it take them to, or how will they heal.
They are all still open, or worst,
still bleeding.
Bleeding invisibly, and painfully.

I ran out of words to type now,
but I am actually reflecting and
feeling my emotions, at least for now
I tried to become honest with myself
that I don’t have to hide nor
to pretend of my heart’s condition
when it comes to matter of Love,
matter of him and me
that was left unclosed.
Oct 2015 · 174
Isn't it?
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Isn’t it strange?
For two people to see
A love that was built
Yet uncertain, as time persist.

Isn’t it amazing?
How two people came to meet
From a distance submitted
Where millions of people existed.

Isn’t it weird?
A heart that was pierced
Still loves somebody so fierce
When agony was solely received.

Isn’t it exciting?
Once love has began
And pain is expected
A story is about to unfold.

Isn’t it sad?
When paths have finally converged
The wind will suddenly blow
Then paths will again diverge.

Isn’t it ironic?**
From strangers to friends,
Turn friends to lovers,
Ending as strangers, once again.
Oct 2015 · 356
One Day From My Dream
Reina Franco Oct 2015
One day from my dream
I saw your face across the street
Among the crowd where you stood,
As if sunshine has brighten my way.

One day from my dream
You came near and talked to me.
I felt your presence even more,
Had left me off guard, once more.

One day from my dream
You held my hand, and gave such warmth.
Security, what I had from you, and
Sincerity of heart, what I returned.

One day from my dream
Your eyes met mine halfway.
As I felt no other better way,
Perfection I have come to see.

One day from my dream
A confession was made,
Your promises of love and forever,
My heart’s your blissful home.

One day from my dream
Your embrace became a gift,
Your kiss became a seal,
As if we’ll never part, an assurance.

One day from my dream
I woke up, and you’re gone.
I searched, but every where’s empty
I asked, but nothing’s questionable.

One day from my dream
A dagger was stabbed to my heart,
Unofficial we have been, you declared,
As I watch you walked with her.

One night as I dream
I woke up and prayed.
Grateful for every tear,
For that one day in my dream
When there became “You and Me”.
Oct 2015 · 430
To Solitude
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Mourning in the shadows of the sun
A scar that was yet to be healed
Bleeding in the propositions of tomorrow
Begging for a medicine of hope.

Standing in the crossroad of despair
Tracing for memories of yesterday
Transforming each into a dream
An imagination of assuming reality.

Captured in the lair of darkness
Tortured by the pain of “without you”
Chained by fragments of promises
Exiled to a crib, full of longing.

Slept beside a melancholic lullaby
Beneath a twilight of photographs,
With or without you, I shall wake
Oh tomorrow, why do I fear?
Oct 2015 · 192
The Grey Roseus
Reina Franco Oct 2015
I stuttered beneath this green low-rised roof
upon seeing you.
Jaw-dropped as you took
two steps forward to where I stood.

I was frozen, while the world
has paused from revolving.
You smiled with your face
5 inches away from mine.

The scent of your breath
caught me breathless.
I smiled back, being a late response,
stiffly and wide-eyed.

Palpitations worsen
for every counting microsecond.
You raised your hand to touch
the side of my face using
the back of your pointing finger.

I closed my eyes accompanied by falling tears.
Then you wiped those tears
using the thumb of your other hand, and
now you're holding my entire face by the side.

Still, my eyes remained close and
tears continuing to fall.
I took my breath, finally.
A breath with a sound,
a sound of longing,
the sound of sobering to miss you
all these time we were apart.

Your lips touched the center of my forehead.
I closed my eyes tighter until it hurts
already for me to open them.
You put your forehead to mine,
this time it’s your eyes that were closed.

You whispered, “I’m sorry for all the pain
I’ve caused you”
I spoked in return, “Drop it, for within
those pain my heart has known
how much love I have for you”
“Do you still–”
“I said drop it, just come with me
and take me to your arms again.”

“Aren’t you afraid that I might hurt you again?”
“I’d rather have you hurt me again yet
remained here at my side, than not to be hurt at all,

You let go of my face to put your arms
around me, and you gave me
the embrace and the feeling I have longed for
since the day you left.

And now my heart dropped,
giving its own self to you again,
willingly and carrying nothing else
but the never ending unconditional love
it always have for you.
Oct 2015 · 205
My Little Dread
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Across this province of mine,
amidst that city of yours
I saw you standing,
so far away from me.

To look straight in your eyes,
To behold myself in your arms,
To hear you whisper in my ears,
Oh tonight, these are my desires.

For a moment then, I lost you,
Yet I struggled to retrieve you.
For a moment today, I asked
“Shall I ever lose you again?”

I fear of tomorrow,
anticipating such kind sorrow,
thinking you might leave again
in a sudden, and dreadful way.

However, I shall be prepared
for anytime, things may be impaired.
Until such time I must be practiced
for the art of waving goodbye,
and to never ever look back.
Oct 2015 · 355
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Every day and every night were the same,
sunshine and street lamps, I see them lame,
people and places, frozen in one lane,
That was life before Victor came.

Alone, no more I was.
Eyes, mine sparkled on a bliss.
Love, driven me joyfully insane,
That was life when Victor came.

So distant we may seem to be,
Patience is ours to befriend,
as Faith is ours to possess,
for the situation’s never a game.

I lost you by then,
heart was broken to the power of ten.
Prayer was my refuge,
Tears as sanctuary, they became.

Realizations invaded my insanity,
lessons learned returned me to sanity.
Grateful to have loved a man such way,
such person, ever since Victor came.
Oct 2015 · 453
The Acceptance
Reina Franco Oct 2015
“I LOVE YOU”* that’s what i said to him.
And i got no reply at all.
No exchanges, nothing in return.
Literally speaking, NOTHING IN RETURN.

That’s one heck of hell for somebody
who’s loving way way too much.
PAIN is all you get, which you endure
no matter how  “you-can-no-longer-stand.slash.bear-it”.
Yet and Yet, you still love the person with all your might.
How ironic it is, right? in spite of this effin’ feeling,
though you don’t deserve to be hurt, still,
you continue to give everything
to this very person you cared the most
when every day, every hour of the day
you hear and feel how your heart
battles with your brain.

You want to let go when actually
you don’t want to. And why is that?
because of the effin’ word LOVE
You just can’t do anything else,
you love until it hurts more and more,
you love even it means hurting yourself,
you love and love until you can no longer feel the pain–
until you look like a fool, numb, and  DUMB ,
but you never gave up, perhaps
never gave up pushing and showing yourself.

Sometimes you don’t actually feel
that you will EVER give up.
Just gotta accept the fact that whatever you do,
he can’t or he won’t love you back.
Accept the pain of having NOTHING IN RETURN.
That’s it! BINGO! KUDOS!

They say “if you really love a person,
you will ask for nothing in return
even if it means not loving you back”
, and
I guess that’s how all the enduring thing came from.
And then you will get used to it,
to the same scenario up to the extent that you,
yourself can no longer escape the sensation anymore.

Well, you just can’t stay away, right?
You can’t last a day without a single word
or news from him, not without
seeing his name on your effin’ cellphone.
At the end of the day, you’ll tell him I LOVE YOU,
while you get NOTHING

The chase is on again, because you’re used to it
even how much you feel the pain
Still, you accept it.
You accept the fact that he doesn’t love you back.
That you are the only one standing alone
playing the game.
“What can i do? I LOVE HIM"
this is all you can say.

And now, you just have to wait
for the day that you will stop.
Pray for the day when ENDURING will be over,
so that you may give him up, at last.

Dream that your hopes would fall down
to Love someone new, Love yourself.
Accept your defeat in the game
Wait for the moment where your tears
would stop from falling because
you’ve used them  ALL  already.
Until your heart stops from beating,
beating his name.
Until your brain can no longer
process Memories at all.

ACCEPT IT, I must.
or perhaps, AGAIN.
An “I LOVE YOU” is something
I could feel for him, and I could give to him…
But it is something I would never have
FROM HIM, and would never be given *TO ME.
Oct 2015 · 4.6k
Nasaan si Paulo? (Part II)
Reina Franco Oct 2015
UMAGA (Morning)*

“I won’t talk, I won’t breathe. I won’t move ‘till you finally see that you belong with me..”

Nag-alarm ang cellphone ko,
at oras na ng pag-gising ko.
Oo, tama ka.
Ang paboritong kanta ni Paulo
ang tunog ng alarm ko.

Sa pagdilat ko, nakita ko nanaman
ang Araw na kasisikat pa lamang.
“Paulo” ayan nanaman ang unang salitang
nasabi ko, ang unang bagay at tao
na laman ng isipan ko.
Naisip ko, ako rin kaya ang naiisip niya
bago siya matulog?
Ako rin kaya ang unang nasa isip niya
sa kanyang paggising?

Umaga nanaman, panibagong araw na haharapin.
Bagong pagkakataon, bagong aabangan, at
bagong mga pangyayari.
Ang tanong ay simple lang naman,
Magkikita kaya kami?
Mabibigyan kaya kami ng pagkakataon ngayon?

Ang kahapon ay nakalipas na, sabi nga,
pero magmimistulang kahapon pa rin ba
ang araw ko ngaun?
Naghikab ako, sabay bangon.

Sa pagbangon ko, tumingin akong muli
sa bintana nakita ko na kumpleto
ang kulay na bumubuo sa paligid.
Berde, asul, dilaw, pula, puti, itim, brown,
lahat na ng kulay!
Ang ganda ng mundo ng mga tao,
ang ganda ng umagang sumalubong.
Pero nawala ang ngiti sa mga labi ko, at
kung may nakakita man sa akin
mababakas sa aking mga mata
ang lungkot, pananabik at pangungulila
ng malayo kay Paulo.

Gaano man kaganda ang paligid ko,
hindi pa rin kumpleto ang MUNDO KO
ng wala si Paulo.
Muli, napabuntong hininga ako
kasabay ng pagpigil ko sa aking mga luha
na nag-aadyang sila ay muling papatak.
Ayoko munang umiyak hanggat maaga,
marami pa naman mangyayari.
Mamaya nalang ulit kapag andiyan na ulit si Gabi,
ganoon ulit ang eksena, at ganoon naman lagi.

Binuksan ko ang pintuan ng aking kwarto,
lumabas na ako, at sa pagsara ko ng pinto
nagtanong ako ulit:
“Nasaan si Paulo?”
Oct 2015 · 3.6k
Nasaan si Paulo? (Part I)
Reina Franco Oct 2015
GABI (Night)*

Ayan nanaman si araw,
iniwan nanaman niya ako.
Tinapos nanaman niya
ang maghapon sa paglubog.
Tinanggal nanaman niya
ang liwanag sa paligid ko.
At iniwan nanaman niya akong
nakatanaw sa malayo, sa tabi ng bintana,
minamasdan ang pagpasok ng dilim,
hinahanap ang buwan at mga bituin.

Ang tanawing ito ang nagpapa-alala sa akin
na “There is always light, even in the darkest times”.
Kasabay ng pagpasok ng dilim
ang pagtulo ng luha sa mga mata ko.
Nasaan si Paulo? ang tanong ko sa sarili ko.
Hinahanap ko nanaman siya,
sa tuwing sasapit ang ganitong oras.
Kailan ko kaya siya ulit makikita?
Kailan kaya kami ulit magkakasama?

Lumipas nanaman ang isang maghapon
na hindi ko nasilayan si Paulo.
Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata ng mariin,
kasabay pa rin ang mga munting luha
na patuloy lang sa pagpatak habang
iginuguhit ko ang kanyang mukha sa aking isipan,
habang ninanais ko na mahawakan
ang kanyang kamay sa sandaling iyun.
Nangiti na sana ako, kaso pagdilat ko,
ako lang pala mag-isa ang nandito, at
kathang isip ko lang ang lahat.

Napabuntong hininga ako ng napakalalim,
at sa paglabas ko ng hangin sa aking katawan
naisipan ko nalang na pumikit ulit at manalangin.

“Ama, kung anuman po ang Inyong
ginawang plano sa amin ay Siya pong masusunod
at malugod ko pong tinatanggap.
Alam ko po na may magandang dahilan ang lahat
ng nangyayari sa amin na ayon sa Inyong kagustuhan.
Ang dasal ko lang po ay Nawa sana
tulungan Ninyo kaming makita at malaman
ang dahilan ng lahat ng ito.
Bigyan Ninyo kami ng lakas ng loob at sapat
na pananampalataya upang kumapit pa,
huwag sumuko at hawak kamay na harapin
ang pagsubok na ito. Hayaan Nyo po kaming
patuloy na manalangin, gawing sandalan ang isa’t-isa,
at gawin Kayong sentro ng aming pagmamahalan
sa kabila ng lahat. Amen. ”

At tuluyan ko ng ipinikit ang aking mata
sa pagtulog, nagbabakasakaling kahit
sa panaginip man lang ay mahagkan ko siya at makasama.
Oct 2015 · 236
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Why is it everytime  I try to stay away from you,
it’s like you’re giving me more reasons to stay?
Why is that no matter how I wanted to resist you,
you still has something that makes me vulnerable
to find you Irresistible?

I’ve been fooling myself,
acting like I don’t care anymore.
Like it doesn’t bother me anymore.
When actually, just by seeing your name
drives me crazy.
I still find myself staring at your page
for several hours, still wishing you were here with me.

Why do I tend to get so weak
whenever people would remind me, and
would ask me about you?
Then you told me those simple two words,
LOVE YOU.. then I’m breathless..
INSANE all over you again..

It is this something I have been dreaming
for you to tell me. And now you did it,
you did it which made everything unclear.
everything worse.
I’m not really sure what you meant when you’ve said it.
Though, I know that you only mean it as a friend.
BUT it’s still something that gives me hope,
something that I found there’s still a reason
for me to stay- to keep holding on.
Hold on to something that is 99% impossible.

Tonight, you've once again invaded my mind.
I just can’t stop thinking of you.
I never thought you would say such. And,
tonight SEPTEMBER 07, 2010, 07:00 pm
is the very first time you told me “LOVE YOU”..
Absolutely memorable, however, confusing.
Reina Franco Oct 2015
To see you in pain is the least i want to see..
I know you’re hiding it from me, but baby
I think i know you for too long.

You may pretend in front of them,
but mind you, you can’t in front of me.
I could hear you even you’re so far away.
I could feel you even just by staring at your eyes.

Just the way you look at me with that sorrow you had.
Baby, you’re making me weak.
Like i said, to see you in pain is the least i ever want to see.
Your smile, is mine.. as well as your sorrow is mine too.
To see you happy is my strength, but
to see you in pain is my ultimate weakness.

I wish i could take the pain you feel right now,
but i know i can do nothing about it,
except to pray for you.
But please let me know what i can do
to at least somehow ease it up.
As I’ve told you before..
“I am here.. and I will always be…”
Oct 2015 · 536
My Wall Clock
Reina Franco Oct 2015
I’ve been staring at
my room’s wall clock
for almost the entire day.
Funny how it seems that
the only actual thing it does
is to tic-tac all the time.
And as it works,
it made me realize and notice
what time is it as its hands
move little by little,
pointing at the numbers printed onto it.

As I watch the second hand,
I can’t help but to feel sentimental,
knowing that for every second it counts
I am still here—all alone,
feeling this excruciating pain and
sorrowfully mourning about the mere fact—
facing the reality that my heart is ****! broken
over again by the same man
who used to broke my heart
for a thousand times..
and that man— that I love the most
is slipping past my way for every tic-tac
it does as it grows into days.

I am pretty much aware
that after a 24-hours of tic-tacing,
it would finally be TOMORROW.
Tomorrow is the day
I always feared of, for
I don’t know if I would want
to wake up on that day because
little did I know I would have to face it
by myself again, and to watch the whole day
to pass that something or someone good
might come and might exist.

For everyday that counts,
there’s never a second that I didn’t wished
for a moment that could help
ease the pain I am feeling.
There’s never a minute that passed
that I didn’t hoped for the time to stop
so that i could bring it back
to the day when HE was still mine —
those days when we were together
so that I could have given him
everything he needs, and that
there’s no wasted time
for our love to be felt by each other.  

But the worst thing??
Is that there’s never a day that ends
that I never prayed for our love and
for our hearts to finally meet each other again,
at the right time and at the right moment
in our lives, conquering every moment
of our lives and every corner of our world
and living the rest of it together again,
and maybe this time we could be better.
And this time we would successfully
last through the many years to come
as we face disasters and chaos,
yet and still, we have each other
to love and to fight for.

—and that’s how the time of my life goes on.
I know i can do nothing to stop it
for whether I like it or not
it would always continue to count..
count every second of my pain..
Reina Franco Oct 2015
My chest feels heavy,
my breathing is so tight
that I am almost running out of oxygen
leading me to a hypoxic state.  

I’ve been punching
this pulsing sensation inside.
Cursing it to stop beating,
for all it ever pounds
is the most excruciating pain
I have ever felt my whole life.
Running deeply from my skin,
to every nerve and to every tiny
fiber of my being.

I wanted to scream
from the peak of Mount Thor,
from there I’ll jump
only to submerge myself
in the Mariana Trench
to slough every tear,
repel every hatred, and
to relinquish every throe
that there is inside me.

Where no one would have
to witness me at my weakest,
where nothing would hear me
as inconsolable,
somewhere I know I will not see you.

How could you?
You grabbed my heart,
petted it, then throw it away
and have it smashed
to the ground.

How could I?
Prospered by your sole existence,
and dreaded by
the wrath of tomorrow, by
the pang of longing, and
by the ache of defeat.

Bizarre, that’s what my faith is now.
As for my prayers, they’re perfidious.
I am finally unarmed.
Am no longer the warrior
I once used to be.
Oct 2015 · 1.3k
Fucked Up
Reina Franco Oct 2015
When can I ever have you,
They have deprived me of you
for 23 long years,
and still counting.

I am guarded,
side by side.
One from my very own blood line,
another from my very own
“brand of heroine”.

I feel suffocated,
encapsulated by
my own trust issues.
And now, I am nothing,
but ******.UP.

Wrenched and alone.
Oct 2015 · 631
The Dress
Reina Franco Oct 2015
A f a s h i o n i s t a –
it’s not who I am
or I was, at least.
Am not the girly-girl
fond of hearts and flowers,
nor of a stiletto and
of a dress.

On groceries, (I wore)
an old pair of tees and shorts.
On malls,
a plain shirt and maong jeans.
On every day,
a pair of flat footwear.
Just those. Period.
Just until –

A pair of Chinito eyes,
on my direction, came across.
I was enchanted. Captivated.
And I was driven insane.
I. Want. Those. To. Keep.
Looking. At. Me.

So I began –
A dress, I wore.
Hearts and flowers, I was
covered with.
Stilettos, ah! They hurts!
but I slipped them on,

A dress–
That white heavy laced
ballgown, in my dreams
I began to behold.
As I walk down the aisle
gracefully and proudly, towards
that pair of Chinito eyes.

That dress (The Dress)
that I never got to wear,
in my reality.
Because those two Chinito eyes,
to another direction,
**T h e y. S h i f t e d.
Oct 2015 · 690
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Your eyes dwell
on the frailty of my ****** structure.
Yet, you find it pulchritudinous.
What makes it?
I have no idea, what you see.

I am as reckless as a child,
but it was my sophistication
that you’ve chosen to descry.

Your hands linger on my skin,
caressing every bit of insanity
and fragility, needing leniency.
What are you sensing?
I have no idea, what you perceive.

I am as sober as the night sky
minus the stars,
but you avowed your benevolence
towards my desolation.

Hence, you hefted such joy
inflamed such felicity that was lost.
What are you begetting?
I have an idea,
reciprocation, it is.

Oct 2015 · 201
Who are you supposed to be?
Reina Franco Oct 2015
I started from where I falter.
Where was your hand?
I shrouded beneath the cloud,
shouting for rescue.

I exiled my own,
lavishing every excruciating memoir,
cascading by my very own desolation
affecting my ravaged heart.

Lies, lies, lies..
Who are you supposed to be?
Reina Franco Oct 2015
Of all the days, I’d still chose to be with you.
To be alone by myself, than to be with someone else.
I’d rather stomp through the rain, get wet and ill.
Than to remain dry and to feel nothing else, but dry.

I am lonely, longing, and waiting..
Starving for your warmth,
hungry for your presence.
Yet, I chose this..
To spend every day loving you,
than to regret each day not fighting for you.
Oct 2015 · 2.1k
Unfulfilled Repose
Reina Franco Oct 2015
On the edge of the railway
I was caught unprepared,
of whether to fight or not
of whether to give up or to give in.

I went to runaway
taking every breath that is left in me,
chasing the shadows away from my sun
pondering through these thoughts
of whether should I live or should I die?

I took the imbecile mind of a weak heart
struggling for words I cannot say,
revolution against chaotic ideas,
generating evidences of what is left,
generating evidences of what was taken away.

I stumbled on the great floor,
misled my feet on the broken rails of the railway.
I fractured my foot, the other luckily was scarred
now I have to run, but I just can’t.

Where should I put myself in this trouble
imparted on my living sense of self?
Now I have to run, but I have nowhere to go
I need to escape this extravasation of doom
as I left my heart on the coffin of his memories.

I wept right where I was trapped,
until someone offered his hand
and gently lifted me up from this pandemonium.

I turned my head up,
and saw the sincerity of heart that he possess,
whose eyes brought me to a safe haven.
I moved with him, and with him I breathe
the air of solace, the soliloquy of the imbecile.

He brought me to the sun, bequeathed it to me
and for me he chased its shadows away.
My doom is now the doomed,
as my chaos is now the chaotic,
for what was drastic is now lenient,
and that railway is now just another railway,
a quotient of my unfulfilled repose.

— The End —