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rey Jun 9
i’ve searched for love my whole life
i fall for strangers at first glance
growing up lacking the feeling
only makes me want it more
the feeling gives me meaning
and makes my stomach twirl
i have a hard time saying no
devoting myself to someone
is a complete adrenaline rush
rey Jun 9
your presence is addictive
i spend most of my day
waiting to see you
i sit here checking the time
for what feels like the millionth time
the day drags itself on
until i hear from you
the time is in overdrive
which seems as if only
when you’re around
my eyes light up
my smile widens
my heart races
i knew from the
first time i laid my eyes on you
that you were either going
to be the best or worst thing
to happen to me
will i continue to be
falling hard
or will i end up having a
hard falling.
rey Feb 22
i keep picking up my pieces,
as if i’m not the one tearing them apart

i struggle to keep my head above water,
but the ground is shallow beneath me

i let the tears flow out of me,
i’m reason they have formed

i blame the world for being so cruel,
knowing i’m the one bringing me down

how is it that “happiness is a choice”,
i’m begging for that option

brutality is my only mentality,
forced onto me by the one i know best

i just wish i could get out of my head.
rey Feb 12
beating beating beating
a pinch
a rush
a fill
a desire
beating…
beating…
beat-
rey Feb 12
rushing and flowing
ah, but when you enter
nothing but excitement.
rey Dec 2021
it’s happening again
i’m sinking farther into my bed
i can’t seem to get myself to wash my hair
i don’t even stand in the shower anymore
i let the water fall down my body
i’m just going through the motions again
hoping i’ll just drown in my tears
but i can’t seem to cry
maybe if i leave the laundry on the floor
it’ll pick itself up and get in the washer
maybe if i leave my bed unmade
it’ll eventually make itself
can’t seem to get myself to make food
the hunger pains greet me with open arms
maybe tonight i won’t go home to an empty house
i hope my boyfriend doesn’t get tired of me
i miss my mom again
i’m spending far too long in the bathroom instead of going back out and facing the nothingness
i have somehow trapped myself in again
i really wish it wasn’t happening again
rey May 2021
Life can be great
My happiness can be through the roof
The days I skip instead of walking
The days I smile and laugh loudly
But all it takes to destroy all of it
is a simple touch

It’s been three days straight
I’m only sixteen
you won’t keep your hands off
you’re twenty five
I just want to get through my day
without you on me
instead of being happy
I will lay in my bed
and cry until i have a panic attack
let all of my pain out
because one day you won’t
be able to walk all over me
one day i’ll stand up for myself
one day my body will be mine
one day.
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