They're all just so sad and broken in their own ways
     And they have flocked to each other because together,
              The suffering feels smaller
                   Not so big
                       Not so daunting
                             And to them,
                                     I'm the deep pool
                                           where they can pour their pain into
                                                And never have to think of the possibility
                                                  Of
                                               a
                                     flood
                                   And
                         I
                 Am
Drowning

When I'm alone, finally independently
Individual
The darkest furthest corners of my mind
The other half of me reaching out
Whispers sweet alluring things, kindly
Gently
Tugging carefully at the strings of my will
Caressing, plucking and eventually
Clipping
The lines to my resistance
The chords of my voice
Allowing the floodgates to fall, collapse and
Surrender
And let me
Myself, the independent
Individual
Take control

I've said these words a thousand times,
I've said these words to a thousand people,
I've lied with these words to a thousand hearts,
And I've killed with these words, a thousand loves.

Love is a violent act.
I mean, how does something,
So sweet and lovely,
Make you ready to commit,
Brutality and adultery,
And render us so incapable,
Of thinking past jealousy?
With red words fogging our eyes,
And a black void echoing between our ears,
I think love is a violent act.
For nothing like it,
Motivates us to tear down cities,
Dance in the ruins,
And rebuilt something new,
All for one person.
Love is a violent act,
That makes us take our hearts,
Pry, rip and tear slowly from our chests,
And lay it as an offering,
To someone who doesn't want it.
Love is such a violent act,
Melting our brains and controlling our tongues,
Numbing us to the fact that if we care, we will hurt,
Giving us an addiction worse than that to drugs,
God, it made us do so many things we shouldn't have done.
Love is such an unforgivable,
Violent,
Act.

Have you ever let down the walls,
And let someone into your soul?

Have you ever trusted someone,
Enough to give them a piece of you
Or
Maybe a whole?

Do you remember the bitter sting?
Do you remember the sickness that took hold?
Do you remember the emotional shock,
The shaking and the lack of control?

Do you remember the feelings of anger and regret,
coursing through every vein,
Do you remember the fear and terror,
Reducing you to nothing but shame?

I do.
I listened to your
denial,
I gave you a chance, I let you back in,
And I was branded with the
touch
of
your
betrayal.

Black as the void where her soul should be,
Dark as the wicked grin she flashes always unseen,
Darker than her intents,
Setting her siren like instincts free.

Perception is an injection,
of either hope or despair,
and I've come to find that it,
either burns or repairs,

I have a gun to my head,
And I can't pull the trigger,
But I dare you to proclaim me dead,
On this last night of winter,

And my innocence flows from my hands,
I just want to be free,
But there are simply too many things I don't understand,
And there is a battle in my head that I did not decree,

And I thought I had a friend,
I thought I had a lover who had a gentle hand,
Rather than a tongue made of silver thread,
So one after another, the tears I shed,

And I’m being sewn into a quilt of myself,
False Representations are the patterns we use,
And my hope is imbued into the emerald felt,
That is used to seal me into this abuse,

And if only you knew how i’m losing this war,
If only you knew that my personal hell has an open door,
Waiting and waiting, for someone to hear me scream,
Waiting and waiting, for you to rip open the seams,
But I learned a lesson that day,
That not every ocean will have a bay,
So I stand here in defeat, only to fight, rinse and repeat,
I learned that not everyone you meet will leave you complete,

Not everyone you love will stay
Not everyone you trust will be loyal,
Some people only exist,
As examples of a life that is soiled,

And some days I feel it all at once,
Some days I feel nothing at all,
I don't know what's worse,
Drowning beneath the waves or dying of thirst,

I think to myself,
How I wished upon fountains of stars,
Let my dreams come from the shelves,
But it was just a world of wars,

Sometimes I wonder,
How sweet it must be,
To feel all the pain at once,
Then sink into an endless sleep,

So tell me,
One cut,
Two cuts,
Three cuts,
Four,
Tell me…...what's one more?

Follower of none, protector of one,
A door once open, oh what happened?
Chains once firm, when will I learn?
What once was dawn, has now become dusk,
Now I am cold, and I was once told,
“follow or fall, crawl down this hall,
Bow and grovel, conform to your mold,
You are a sin, let go of your hopeless hold,
No one can help, not even your kin,
So trust me when I say don't trust,
Follow me when I say don't follow,
A cell is just another word for home,
This bed is where you wallow,
I hear the dirt of a grave,
Is just a blanket so plain,
Deeper you fall,
Down this hall,
Chains once firm,
Door once open,
Follower of one, protector of none.

Mirror Mirror on the wall,
Is my face prettiest of all,
Mirror Mirror lie to me,
Show me what I want to see,

Mirror mirror on the wall,
Why don’t I like the girl I see,
Mirror Mirror on the wall,
When will you leave me be,

Mirror Mirror on the wall,
Tell me who’s the biggest fool of all,
Mirror Mirror on the wall,
Why did you leave me to bawl,

Mirror Mirror what do you see,
Please tell me what you decree,
Mirror Mirror on the wall,
Am I the fairest of them all,

Mirror mirror why do they laugh,
Am I only a false half,
Mirror Mirror why do they stare,
Mirror mirror why do I care,

Mirror Mirror on the wall,
Who’s the ugliest of them all,
Mirror Mirror on the wall,
Who’s most damaged of them all,

Mirror mirror,
On the wall,
Lie to me,
Show me what I want to see,

Mirror Mirror,
May I see a little clearer,
On the wall,
Oh how I appal.

All that look my way,
Mirror what do you say,
You should only speak the truth,
You should only speak to sooth,

Mirror mirror why do you lie,
I know I asked, but please don’t make me cry,
Mirror mirror I whisper goodbye,
Mirror Mirror let me die..

There is a war that is taking place,
A monster that has finally taken a face,
They will fight and when it rehashes,
They will fight more, just to rule the ashes,

A battle that marks another stanza,
A death that marks another extravaganza,
One man shall fall, and another shall rise,
Where they shall brawl, and fill the air with cries,

And we shall set the stage for our sons and daughters,
As we command our pawns to slaughter,
All those who dare stand in our way,
In this game of fools play,

Where brother will fight brother,
Father will fight father,
Son will fight daughter,
What will become of our granddaughters,

And only the dead have seen the end of their personal hell,
And only those who are alive will stand to see it through,
And if you strike me down, I will only rise again,
And if you break me down, I will only stand again,

And I learned that if you desire peace,
You must be forever prepared for war,
For one will only cease,
If the other is never implored,

And i’m amazed because we were taught,
An eye for an eye, even if the whole world goes blind,
At least we can say that we fought,

Even if we were left behind..

I am ripping open at the seams, the tears are searing scars down my cheeks,
   One more paper to do, one more sentence to repeat,
Come on just take the leap, write something worth all that is bleak,
   Just need to power through, I was told not to retreat,

My pencil lead breaks again, frantically trying to get more,
   These lines don’t seem to end, is that a reminder for a test tomorrow?
I have problems to mend, and something for my teachers to deplore,
   Just one more email to send, maybe tonight is worth the morning hangover,

We learn about The Declaration of Independence, what about The Declaration of a student's financial dependence,
   And can we talk about the insanity that is the reality of a prison without bars, a prison with a few more smiles with test after test to test the aptitude of whatever is left,
And didn’t you know that the education provided is clouding over our personalities, ask us what we like, and we’ll freeze, we don’t know,
   There wasn’t an answer, there wasn’t a formula, this wasn’t on the SAT, it wasn’t in the textbook, it wasn’t in the notes, what do we do now,

And our words mean nothing, it all means nothing unless its in 12 point Times New Roman,
   Our opinions are pointlessly written out unless it’s all double spaced, it means nothing without a thesis, is pointless without a conclusion,
Our minds are sectioned in tests and notes, our identities are categorized the street smarts and the book geniuses, we are divided by the artsy kids and the jocks, we are divided as men and women,
   We have lost all humanity, all vanity, we have lost sons and daughters, we have all fallen into this insanity,

And these terms are swimming all about my eyes, craniocaudal, dorsaloventral, the digestion of sternal recumbency,
   It’s like these lines are never ending, my eyes are burning, the exhaustion is overwhelming,
How am I to remember something as complicated as this phrase that is screaming nothing but unneeded redundancy,
   But I must come through, I must finish this by exactly one minute before midnight, I feel myself crashing.

1 hour of mathematical curvitory, 2 hours of astronomical insanity,
   3 hours of burning scientific calamity, 4 hours of economic minority,
5 hours of silence and religious responsibilities, 6 hours of starvation without seniority,
   And 7 hours of work that surpases our intelectual and emotional capability,
  
We work and work and we work some more but we really never get to mentally explore,
   Due dates and deadlines, it’s like the quadratic formula and the mitochondria are the only things that are allowed in my mind,
We are trained to move like clockwork, with nothing but mechanical processing and memory stores to our so called searing core,
   These are our soul and self preserving guidelines that are set by the authorities that are supposed to be educationally kind to those who need just a little more time,
Just one more line,
Just 20 more words,
Just get it done, it doesn’t have to be an art of perfection,
After all, we’re only being timed on completion and temporary retention..