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9.6k · Nov 2020
Anxiety is losing
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
My anxiety is taking over
My anxiety is taking over
My life, is not yet over
My life, is not yet over
I'm stone cold, yeah and sober
I'm stone cold,  yeah and sober
My anxiety is breaking me down
Its causing me to drown
It erased my smile
I've been without it a long, long while
And replaced it with a frown from a clown
My anxiety is taking over
My anxiety is taking over

I feel like I'm always losing
Even tho I should be winning
I'm close to losing this fight
Even tho I'm giving it all my might
I try to breathe, I can't breathe
My anxiety is killing me
I roll over, I become colder
My blanket is giving me the cold shoulder
Im usually hot, but tonight I'm not
I'm doing a better now,  I'm remaining sober somehow
I'm one year older
I endure pain, i experience fear
I don't feel I compare to all of my peers
Because of that these eyes are pouring tears
Everyday I ask whats keeping me here
Just a misunderstood youth, who speaks the truth
It doesn't matter how much these eyes rain
No one ever understands my pain
When poison entered my veins
Never once did I complain
It knew my name
It played my game
It was a hard lion to tame
I have been robbed
For falling for the wrong heartthrob
Never again will i bring my walls down easily
My anxiety defeating me will not be easy

My anxiety is taking over
My anxiety is taking over
My life, is not yet over
My life, is not yet over
I'm stone cold, yeah and sober
I'm stone cold,  yeah and sober
My anxiety is breaking me down
Its causing me to drown
It erased my smile
I've been without it a long, long while
And replaced it with a frown from a clown
My anxiety is taking over
My anxiety is taking over

I'm remaining in the slow lane, I'm staying in the right lane
Just because I do well at carrying myself
Doesn't mean I'm steady, cuz lets honest, **** is getting really heavy
I'm all the time being put down
I look in the mirror and stare at my frown
I wanna turn it upside down
I wanna know the secret to finding true happiness
Because what I'm feeling isn't happiness
I feel like with my luck **** with end like city of angels
No fairytale ending just a nightmare fable
I do all I can, I know I'm able
To turn over this ******* table
I must find the the right content
It might take me a while
Its something I'm probably going to have to invent
I truly ******* hate this
Is there a secret recipe to ending this
Where is the cheat codes
Triangle, square, circle,X it didn't work
Where is the correct code?
I'm still feeling hurt
Without Chester I feel lost
Withour Wrld I know what's at cost
I wanna hold on, but its getting hard
I have so much but I don't want to loose it all
I'm stronger now but I feel I'm still going to fall

My anxiety is taking over
My anxiety is taking over
My life, is not yet over
My life, is not yet over
I'm stone cold, yeah and sober
I'm stone cold,  yeah and sober
My anxiety is breaking me down
Its causing me to drown
It erased my smile
They replaced it with a frown from a clown
I haven't seen it in a long, long while
My anxiety is taking over
My anxiety is taking over

I can't believe the neglect
I've done to myself
I wanted to eject
I felt like such a reject
I lost my way
And I'm paving it now
I embrace each day
No matter what I'll make it go my way
No more keeping my head down
I'll keep it held high
As I look up into the sky
I am so blessed to still be alive

My anxiety is losing the battle
My anxiety is loosing the battle
I've got my **** handled
I've got my **** handled
No more relying on poison I don't need it
I'm doing the best now better believe it
I'm awake now, no more narrow minded
My heart is free no longer binded
My heart is free no longer binded
My source of warmth is now my friend
It will be with me till the very end
My anxiety is losing the battle
My anxiety is losing the battle
2.2k · Nov 2020
A MESSAGE
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
Blessed blessed
Is the heart
Whose knees
Kneel on acient hills
Because in them
Is a source of life.

Blessed blessed
Is a soul
Whose hands is digging for a source of light
Even when buried in darkness.

Blessed blessed
Is a heart
That knows a washer
That which washes impurities
And source of sin
From the a dying soul.

Blessed blessed
Are the legs
Walking in a path of truth
Even in difficulties.

Blessed blessed
Are the eyes
Those seeing  a ladder to heaven
Because when the world
becomes a river of tears,
They'll easily go to paradise.

Blessed blessed
Is a hand
Holding a hopeless soul
Even when it's about to sink a ***** hole.

Blessed blessed
Is the heart
Whose life is love
Even in a bed of death.

Blessed blessed
Is an ear
Hearing this song of faith
That's giving birth to hope
With children of kindness
Whose life is patience
Even in difficult circumstances of life.
1.1k · Nov 2020
Drugs are bad
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
Drugs, yes... I’ve tried them. Hell, I’ve almost done them all. Been up and down and round and round like a kid playing on an old playground. Drugs take you places you don’t ask to go, they teach you lessons that will force you to grow.  Drugs are hard teachers, and not many pass the test. However if you do, you’ll stand out above the rest. You’ll have mental fortitude and blessings for the rest. Continue pursuing greatness and be humble till death. But Drugs let me tell you... I’ve had the best.  Socially accepted but probably the worst, forced love and alcohol truly hit me where it hurts. There was a hole in my heart and **** I tried to fill it... with anything I could grab or people to fit in it.  I used them and abused them like drugs... because they were. There are many things I regret, but I cannot reject, for these are the things that helped me project. I had to do wrong so that I could learn from it. I’m only human with fire like a comet. These days I prefer the best drug of them all... cartoons and snuggles, my son fills that hole. Being his father takes higher than I could ever desire. Now I see of what I’m required. To teach love instead anger, yet prepare him for danger. Pass that fire to all that desire to learn and grow from the lessons perspired. The future has been written, and to understand what’s coming, you must look behind it. The past repeats itself, unless you can change it. For the wisdom you seek you already hold, dig deep inside and look into your soul. That is where you’ll find your glitter and gold, it hides itself in talents untold. We all have them, and they’re all different... they’ll take you places you couldn’t imagine.
659 · Nov 2020
The Bard
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
The bard could write for you , a verse or maybe two ..and could sing for you , romantic songs of love ..
He could put your haphazard life story , into words ..
That would fit you like a glove ..

The bard is a master of deception , and can avoid all reality ..
He could make you look like a hero , or a man of mystery ..

The bard never tells the truth , or ever tells it , as it could ever be ..
In his mind's eye and imagination , the fantasies run , unhindered and totally free ..

The bard knows no limits , the bard observes no rules ..
The bards knows he need not , make any sense , who would listen to him but fools ..

The bard is a dreamer , living in a world of pure fantasy ..
He would be very poor , if he had to earn a proper honest living , just like you and me ..

Instead the bard wanders lonely as a cloud , looking for the rainbows elusive end ..
And what he knows he will soon forget , so as usual  he will just pretend ..

You need to take a pinch of salt with everything the bard might say ..
And give everything a second look , or even three , but  sometimes it makes no sense , or matters much either way ..

The bard will write a verse for you , and sing it softly , when the moon is on the rise ..
But the bard is a master of deception , who can make even the foolish seem very wise..
312 · Jan 2021
My help in your gaze
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
If I could walk into your eyes
I’d be where my fascination lives
And I’d find your tears you shed for me
And slowly my kisses I’d give
And if I cry and you wipe my tears
Your touching a part of yourself
Because the day  that I sought your gaze
is the day my soul received its help
To Vanessa Morales Figueroa the girl I love
304 · Feb 2021
Sobriety
Patrick Ramsey Feb 2021
There always comes the lone moments
After we might have retire from the day'*******br>And everyone to the safety of their tents
When silence grips the mind
And the soul seem to reminisce the times
A time when you deal with your inner demons
Alone with yourself buried in thoughts
With scenes flashing in your brain in bright colors
Moment when no one's got you but you
When nothing dawns on you but the truth
Sometimes the memories make us sad
Other times the funny part makes us laugh
Life ain't all a bed of roses
It gives you good and bad in proportionate doses
159 · Nov 2020
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
Thank you for another day the breath I take I'm blessed to say. Thank you for my strength I owe it all to you. Thank you for the pain it really made me who. Thank you for the rain it really led me to.Thank you for the vision the wisdom for granting wishes. Thank you for the heat the stress the symptoms my God cures conditions. Thank you for the grace covering my mistakes no longer have to cover my face. Jesus Thank you for dieing in my place

Thank you for waking me for making me. Thank you for the strife thank you for the fight. Thank you for the trials by light. Thank you for the strength in the night thank you for never leaving my side time to decide. Time likes to divide. Thank you for the last 29 years of my life I hope I'm living right

Thank you for another day the breath I take I'm blessed to say. Thank you for my strength I owe it all to you. Thank you for the pain it really made me who. Thank you for the rain it really led me to.Thank you for the vision the wisdom for granting wishes. Thank you for the heat the stress the symptoms my God cures conditions. Thank you for the grace covering my mistakes no longer have to cover my face. Jesus Thank you for dieing in my place

Thank you on Thanksgiving what a short giving. Thankful for food or just for living. How about Thank you for the control of my limbs. Thank you for my family and friends thank you for the scars they remind me to mend. Thank you for the time that I have, for my mom and my dad for sight when I'm sad grip when I grab patience when I'm mad. Thank you for the grace that covers my mistakes thank you Jesus for dieing in my place

Thank you for another day the breath I take I'm blessed to say. Thank you for my strength I owe it all to you. Thank you for the pain it really made me who. Thank you for the rain it really led me to.Thank you for the vision the wisdom for granting wishes. Thank you for the heat the stress the symptoms my God cures conditions. Thank you for the grace covering my mistakes no longer have to cover my face. Thank you for dieing in my place
154 · Sep 2021
NEVER FORGET
Patrick Ramsey Sep 2021
NEVER FORGET  

the buildings gray stood grand and tall
the proudest prize of man's bright call
none dared to think that one might fall
thus glist'ning in the sun
the perfect morning sun

from cherished ground each tower rose
with strength and structure, grandiose
and steady through what nature blows
designer minds had wrought
their best, or so we thought

but some small men with missing parts
brought caliphates with fits and starts
their twisted aims from twisted hearts
would make examples, clear
the things we held, so dear

there wields no sharper blade or knife
than those which can't thus value life
oh deep that wound of careless strife
cut by an empty soul
an empty, barren soul

they flew that morn from foreign lands
these rotten souls, with hateful hands
with peopled planes at their commands
and hate their only cause
a beast with deadly claws

one at-a-time straight 'head they flew
'midst cloudless skies and vault of blue
they stabbed their evil arrows through
the hearts of all mankind
death's rattle left behind

those towers melted, crumpled ... fell
and brought a grief no one could quell
there on the news, straight out of hell
that horror lay unfurled
the weeping of a world

two decades gone, the wounds remain
those birthed from promise gone insane
lost catafalques, like tears through rain
that make no earthly sense
death smirks as God relents

please, teach our wee ones how it was
that heav'n did laud such twisted cause
and burned our bright and wondrous Oz
with fire's heinous flash
turned wonder into ash

how can it be that monsters, thus
now wear a mask that looks like us?
how can we learn, again, to trust?
still, from those ashes, then
the grandest dreams of men ...

through hope, can rise again.

Copyright © Patrick ramsey September 11, 2021
In remembrence of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the world trade center in New York
151 · Apr 2021
Faces
Patrick Ramsey Apr 2021
faces..
⠀⠀by Patrick ramsey

"Your face looks different now",
an old friend said yesterday
"Yeah, been a long", i replied,
just to say something
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
doing hairs this morning i puzzled though
did i really change? do we, ever?
but why then i FEEL same about it, forever!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
sure we do, like we change attires for different occasions, we change faces too
for different people, at different places
i am plenty of faces myself
an angry young man at home
a polite and nice outside
I'm a boss like rude face at restaurant
while calling waiter
an elegant courteous face asking for
a change to a big-shop owner
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm the old wrinkled face, wise having
denounced the worldly affairs
a little kid on days, innocent and curious
I'm the face of loneliness that often
roams on crowded streets
and the failed success for a family
who once took pride in
I'm the face oscillating between teary and
smiley, unable to catch the right emotion
I'm the face of body with
beautiful imperfect settings
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm thousand different faces and counting...
and I'm none of them really
they all protect the vulnerable, fearful,
unsure, childish face beneath
and I'm not that either
I'm none
for I'm just the one who wears them all
and that's it...

© April 2021
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#writewhatyoufeel #poem #write #keepwriting #poetry #english
143 · Jan 2021
I would rather
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
I would rather accept the blessings of blindness,
Than to see you cry with teeming tears;
You are too innocent and pure for that mess,
I would fight the devil without any fears.

I would rather accept the blessings of freeze,
Than to see you cold with shivering smears;
You are too kind and giving like trees,
I would fight harsh winter with warm spears.

I would rather accept the blessings of blood,
Than to see you hurt with agonising tears;
You are too gentle and warm to see others glad
I would fight any army without warring gears

I would rather accept the blessings of emptiness,
Than to see you lonely and sad with un-cheers;
For you are too loving and full of joyfulness,
I would fight the demons with lightning shears.
Dedicated to Vanessa Morales Figueroa
129 · Nov 2020
Pursuit of justice and Gold
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
Pursuit of justice and Gold

Giving it all away
Saying words with purpose
A search for justice
A black man standing on the bus
Righteous indignity
Look at me
Is this what it means to be free
Is this pursuit of happy
Or is this life just ******
Look at me
And what do you see
Do you see a color or do you see a name?
Or just someone to blame
Do you see a man with hope
Or do you see a man struggling to cope
Do you offer a hand or hang a rope
Can you love someone like me
Or can that never be
Look as far as the eye can see
People living in misery
Why is change so slow
Where did decency go
Swim against the flow
Sometimes it’s hard to let go
Which way the wind will blow
On this journey I will go
It’s keep playing or fold
It’s everyone wanting some gold
It’s about ******* so old
It’s about the power you hold
Old white and grey hair
Controlling markets everywhere
You don’t want to share
You don’t care
This is not fair
I’m a man, same as you
I have hopes and dreams too
I’m the same as you
121 · Jan 2021
Given my all
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
I have given all my love to you, but what do I get in return?  
A broken heart.
I have given you my heart, and you stomp on it like a doormat.
I have given you my youth and you took advantage of my un-experienced heart and played with my emotions.
I gave you all the trust, but you misused it.
I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and you proved everyone right.
I gave you my life and you killed me day by day.
I want to pull my aching heart and tear it piece by piece so I no longer love you.
I want to lose my memory so I no longer think of  you.
I want to go so far so I no longer have to see you.
I want to cry, but I no longer have any more tears to fall down
my sad, lonely face.
I want to sleep, but my dreams haunt me with you in them.
I can't seem to find a way out. What do I do?
I don't want anyone to see this, not even you.
How do I get out of this?
How do I stop this misery? How do solve this mystery?
I can't seem to find anyone to make me feel the way you do,
The way you look at me,
The way you say my name,
The sound of your voice when you tell me that you care.
I love you so much I think I'm going to die from this pain that haunts day and night.
How can I forget you? If the only love I know is you.
How can I move on? If life is not the same without you.
I want to break free and move on, but I think I'll be doing something wrong.
I just have to close my eyes and let things fly and let the days pass me by.
120 · Nov 2020
Mental illness
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
I live with mental illness
Every day I am entangled
In this invisible war
Some days I come out victorious
Other days it's leaves me torn
Yet I put up the fight
No surrender, no retreat
I will never accept defeat
You see....
I may be mad completely
I know that I will never be freed
However I know with every fiber of my being
That life is truly beautiful
I do sometimes feel fulfilled
Incredibly strong willed
I have this fire burning inside
I will never turn from it
I will never hide
To this evil I will never abide
The war rages on
Battles lost but battles won
I know from the depths of my soul
I will continue to fight against it
I do want to grow old
That is one helleva miracle
That not many of us get to experience
Even when I'm feeling tired
Even when I'm feeling furious
And yes
Even when my thoughts turn delirious
I will still pick up my sword
And let the battles carry on
I'll fight everyday with all my might
I will not allow myself to lose my sight
Please come fight with me
I can show you how it's done
How you can fight thru it too
Because I know that you love me
And I most definitely love you
To ourselves we have to hold true
And war through the blue
The darkness is spreading fast
But we are the warriors who will outlast
118 · Oct 2020
Hiding my pain
Patrick Ramsey Oct 2020
I wonder if its wrong to hide my pain with all this laughing
Often when I'm smiling I'm truly only masking
The way i want to hurt myself for what I feel I'm lacking
No control of these emotions which are all just overlapping
And so clearly overflowing
Maybe all this pain is just sign for me, showing
That I can't forgive myself for the self harm i committed knowing
That it slow my progess down and keep me from ever growing
I was a liar and an addict
Went from "happy days" to static
It was only a matter of seconds for me to develop a habit
I've tried to move on, almost every day in fact
But I'll hate myself till the end for this devilish little pact
That I made with a pipe that scorched my soul black
I will always be this creature that can't ever escape it's past
117 · Jan 2021
Tried so hard
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
I tried my best.
I gave you my all,
And now there's nothing left.

You stole my heart
Then tore it in two.
Now I'm falling apart
And don't know what to do.

Divided by decisions,
Burned by the fire,
Confused by your words,
Tempted by desire.

I'm living in the present.
My mind is on the past.
Not knowing what I'll lose,
Not knowing what will last.

Blinded by fear,
Drowning in doubt,
Struggling to be free,
Looking for a way out
113 · Feb 2021
Thoughts in my head
Patrick Ramsey Feb 2021
All of these thoughts I keep in my head
The subjects weigh upon me like weights of lead
I want to sit and converse with you
I am dying to hear your point of view
Accuse me of being distant and being so silent
I have done what you asked and been compliant
I am ready to do what ever needs done
Just be honest this time and please don’t run
Be honest to yourself no matter how you feel
And do as you wish and you won’t have to conceal
I am done with confusing statements and passive aggression
Neither of us know what to do and its causing depression
We need to figure this out as soon as we can
Just let me know if your my girl and if I’m your man
I’m not asking to figure it all out in a single night
I just need to know where I stand so I approach you right
113 · Jan 2021
Illusion
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
Distance is an illusion of mind,
Faraway may be,or otherwise
Thoughts cover up the mileage
And brings souls together.
Sharing all that is
And enjoy the memories for ever.
112 · Feb 2021
For a while
Patrick Ramsey Feb 2021
When the elusive heart withers
With unbegun breaths
And unblemished whispers,
And dances like rain
I forget myself
And wither along too!
For a while...

For a while;
All blemishes vanish,
All tears smiles,
All unexplained secrets unveils!
And sings,
All languishes ebb,
And stands still.
Only tranquility emanates...

For a while the thundering blazes
Doesn't smite or confer,
Doesn't matter!
All manifestation
Comes into believing.
The two opposing forces
Comes into harmony
Sings and dances
For a while...

Benign grace showers
From the sky's abundance,
Leaving my thirsty soul replenished;
Like miracles yonder!
And I see only greatness!
For a while...

When the soul spreads it's wings;
And flies unto the unknown
And embodies itself
With the perfect present
I can't help but wither too!
For a while...

If only those
"for a while moments"
Could last forever!
I would die into it and drown
Into that abyss of bliss,
And simply and subtlety just be;
Even if it was only for a while!
106 · Nov 2020
Dancing with Mother Nature
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
the rhythm of the rain
falling outside my window
fills my mind with faeries
dancing with Mother Nature
as she composes her songs
bit by bit

the trees sway along
to the rhythm of the rain
moving side to side

inspired by the music
my heart beats in time
with the sounds I hear
I am nature's mime


my heart hits my feet
they begin to start tapping in time
with the gentle sway of nature's time

The constant beating of the wind,
Sends shivers through my skin.
Burning like icicles,
it cleanses me.
Mother nature breathes me in.

I am taken back by the beauty and poise of the woody acres of life.
The joys of mother nature and her prides!!

As the breeze dances in the trees,
the creatures sing their song
Intoxicated by the air
as one,
with nature,
I am free

The rain, gone now,
but it's scent lingers
reaching my senses
as I take in it's aroma
that wonderful feel of clean earth,
gently washed

like clean cloth on a line,
left to be dried and warmed by the sun.
I revel in its crisp loveliness.

Beauty so tranquil,
but man so able..
bombs turn flowers to ashes of a fable..
connect the cable,



pull up the roots..
beauty is forsaken and there's no excuse..

The ribbons of clean air
Wrapping me with gift of tranquility
Whispering soft,
teasing gentle words

And as the fairies dance their dance
beguiling us with their childish charms
once more we bow to Mother Nature's whims
as she gently holds us in her comforting arms


My world is so free
when I see mother nature in action
I just stand there in awe
I walk outside
and touch a new bloomed flower
Wow I can feel the nature's power

Night falls and takes it's turn,
As the moon brightens the sky
and the stars appear,

Sparkling like diamonds in the moonlit sky
lighting the way for the faeries to dance
and play,
how magical it all seems as they
fly back to earth to dance with nature

The forest king upon his throne
Smiling inside his wooded home
As the creatures all begin to mingle
A vision to make ones heart tingle
As the night birds raise their song in chorus
And lay such wondrous sights before us

Bright eyes flit and dart around
Listening for unnatural sounds.
Insects die,
whilst others live
Mothers Nature,
bountiful,
takes and gives.

step on the pink clouds
between stars and moonlight
enjoy this cosmic ballet
in this perfect night


And take a moment of time to sit by the river
with the frog-green rocks.
Contemplate,
meditate,
investigate the beauty all around.

Open you eyes so you can see
The old world -
as it use to be
The slower times of yesterdays
Taking our time through the haze


beauty of the soul,
in greens and tints of nature
gives a peaceful reminder;
gives a peaceful stature.


**** father time to preserve
mother...
life
The Oedipus complex at its best
106 · Jan 2021
Hearing your spirits
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
I can hear your spirits shatter against the floor.
You don’t know what to think anymore.
Mind racing, eyes pacing as you face your demons at the door.
Little flower let me see you smile.
Turn away from the monsters and sit awhile.
I’ll light a candle to drive away the flies buzzing in your ear.
You have nothing to fear.
I am here.
A mask you can wear when you forget your smile at home.
The company you keep when you feel alone.
The answers you need when diving into the unknown.
I am your written poem.
I’m the one that you can turn to
When you start to feel blue.
I see the vampires, and I won’t
Let them harm you.
I’ll fight with fury to drive back your tears.
I’m far away, but I’m with you here.
It’s okay, baby girl
I won’t let you get lost in this scary world.
I’ll be here holding your hand.
We’ll figure out what we can’t understand.
Apart we are weak and divided,
But together we stand united.
We are immovable objects with unstoppable force.
We both know when it rains it pours,
And I can’t take all your problems away,
But I’ll be by your side today.
I am the words I send.
I love you forever and after the end.
When you wake up you will see
How much you really mean to me.
105 · Mar 2021
My Path to Peace
Patrick Ramsey Mar 2021
My Path to Peace

Walking a dimly lit path,
no tools to light my way.
Ignoring the signs,
dark shadows give rise,
occluding the little light I once had.

Overcome by fear and uncertainty.
Allowing them to guide me
down a path once paved,
now covered with
dirt and gravel.

Pothole after pothole,
exhausted and *****,
I reach a broken wooden sign.

"DEAD END"

Nowhere to go,
I sit and pray.
Shadows disappear,
I hear his voice.

"Turn around my child,
use my light to see the signs.
They will guide you along your way.
To an everlasting life,
filled with joy and peace.
105 · Jan 2021
Without You
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
What should I do with the rose that doesn't smell like you?
What should I do with the spring without you?

What should I do with a sunrise without you?
What should I do with the world without you?
I do not want the rain that comes down without touching your skin, I do not want the breeze.

If the stars should shine, they should shine from you,
I do not want the star which does not burn with your love in the sky.

If the nightingales should sing, they should sing about you,
I do not want to even listen to a nightingale which does not sing of you.

If you are going to be my yearning then let my heart burn!
I do not want the foreign land and without your reunion, I do not want the motherland.

If a fire is going to burn me from my heart;
Let the fire of your love burn me!
If my heart turns into ashes other than your love, I do not want this heart!
I do not want the fire, I do not want the cinder.

The oasis in which I have not seen you, should belong to the bedouins;
I want your desert, I do not want the water.

If it's going to reach you I will not stop, I will walk on foot, but I do not want the direction that does not reach you at the end, I do not want the road.
I only want you as my destination.

I'm a volunteer slave, with earring on my ear.
I will pass one thousand shara's at once if it is going to conquer your heart!

Otherwise what is it to me?
I do not want this conquest, I do not want Egypt, I do not want the world!

I'm a Sultan of Fatih, and in front of Istanbul,
I will burn this city down, just for a smile on your face!

Otherwise I don't want the Sultanate that does not make your rose-face smile, I do not want Istanbul.

I'm a strange lover!
I'm writing about you, I'm burning for you.
I do not want the pen without your love, I do not want the paper.

I'm from your nation, you are my saviour,
I do not want any other saviour but you!
I do not want any Beloved other than you!
99 · Jan 2021
The Broken Heart
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
She told me there was no one
Who she felt that way about
And then she said we were done
As she said she had her doubts
And so I lost, and she won
my heart was broken and left me lacking
I couldn't believe this was me when mom saw me crying
My heart busted like a bad deal, my soul dying
I kneeled under the massive blue, wishing it wasn't so
But all I had was a broken heart to show.
80 · Nov 2020
Ms. Trust
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
The main ingredient in a relationship, and it always is a must
Is at the point of extinction, it's this thing that they call trust.

I promise !!  I swear !!   I give you my word !!
As I replay it again, all those words sound  absurd.

Once I believed,  that a deal was a deal.
Well those days are all gone, and it's time to get real.

Long ago it was easy, simply sealed with a shake.
Now you can't tell the difference between a friend and a snake.

They both are appealing with the words that they speak
But they prey on the lonely, the weary, and weak.

They believe the more that you give,  gives them more right to take.
The last of your crumbs before they steal your last plate.

They beg for forgiveness, because they've had it so rough.
Well I'm at the end of my rope !! Yes Enough is Enough !!

I flipped open the bible, not sure where to start ?
When I came to instructions, not to harden my heart.

I was reminded of the toture, and the pain he went through.
And the blood that he shed, to forgive me and  you.

So when you want to give up, and you want to give in.
Remember that the gold road is narrow and thin.

Never lose faith in the lesson, that our savior adored.
We'll all make it to Heaven, if we put our trust in the Lord !!
78 · Oct 2020
I am enough
Patrick Ramsey Oct 2020
I Am Enough
I am enough to make it
Through the night. I am enough
To make it through the day.
No matter my struggles
And I have many struggles
I know I’ll be OK.
I don’t give in, I believe and have faith.
I am enough.

You are enough to make it
Through anything. You are enough
To live through anything.
You don’t have to be perfect
And it doesn’t matter if you are smart
Just open your eyes and open your heart.
Find the strength and peace
That we have inside our chests.
Believe that it will stay there
Until your very last breath.
You are enough.

We are enough to make it
Through the highs and make it
Through the lows. We are enough
To make it through the dark sky
And the nights when tears fly.
Don’t give up I promise you
It gets better
and our dreams come true.
We are enough.

I am enough to make it
Through drugs, heartbreak and pain.
I am enough to make it
Through the cold and pouring rain.
I am enough to make it
Through anything with you my friend.
I am enough to make it
Because this is only the beginning it isn’t the end.
74 · Jan 2021
The Sublime
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
Your tonque speaks the metaphor of the oar.  noiseless, fluent, it defines a
perfect path for two arousing hearts to entangle into
one inseparable strand of embrace.

It arcs and dips its wooden blade in unmoving water.  Like a nascent poem, it rises and breathes into one particular shape, your mind wants.

There is wisdom in the drift of the oar,
as it pulls a lost cannoe from mute running in the still water of night.

Grant me then, oh goddess, one  moment in time, to relish your sublime verse of passion... without a trace of lament in your heart.

And speak to me
in whisper... In whisper.
73 · Jan 2021
Memories rise
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
listen to the warm
of a heart
where memories rise
within those golden times
held in the distant past
those lineaments of desire
touch in those moments
within the hour
where that excitement
rises like a beast
exploding passion
where two hearts meet
lips touch
and the evening continues
into the dawn
70 · Jan 2021
Heavy paper
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
thoughts weigh
heavy on my mental
So I grab a pencil
And write it all down
I hear the pitter patter sound
of my tears
They Run the ink away
Even they too can't stay
My anxiety is kicking in
I grab my paper and my pen
And I jot my deepest pains
and dreams
I share my nightmares
which aren't really what they seem
Merely old experiences
that only have clearances
when I'm sleep
My pencil in my keep
I write and write until I pass out
Then I wake to fake a day
In my thoughts is where I stay
It a terrible terrific curse
A writers pepeeze
My pencil keeps my mind at ease
I wonder after I write and scratch and choke recanted and jot side incomplete notes
How does my paper feel?
Because my mind is the flood the hurricane the tsunami of fear
my paper and pen are my life jackets my levee
Poor paper must feel real real heavy
69 · Jan 2021
Thirteen years
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
Thirteen Years

There was a time when I lived to hurt
I reveled in the sadness on peoples faces
From the detached flesh on my face to the blood on my shirt
All I wanted was to switch places

I wanted a way out when I picked up a knife
I wanted an end to my pointless life
I wallowed in self pitty and pushed away the hands that wanted to help me out of my hole
But a ***** remained in the hand of a fool
I cut without remorse the flesh of my arm
I lived heart and mind to cause everyone harm
I picked up the remains of my mothers heart and threw them into the fire
But all I was doing was lighting my own pire

No one ever gave up on me though my chances were running out
They saw the good in a monster full of self doubt
To this day I do not understand how its lasted so long
The human spirit is indeed strong

Through the times was the magic number five
One hundred niney eight scars it took to appreciate being alive
I picked up the shattered pieces of the glass house I destroyed
The scaring of lives at the time I enjoyed

I took apart my life but am working to fix it again
Thirteen years it took for my humanity to mend
A simple man with a heart once made of ebony stone
Took thirteen years to finally atone

I've used my story to save a life already
To teach others not to rush to take it steady
For a life is something of priceless value
Its not the place of others to doubt you
Your life is your own do with it what you will
I know now blood is nothing to spill

As I layed on the kitchen floor bleeding out
Or as I jumped into the night without doubt
As I threw my life into a blender and the rest of me too
With my story in hand I come to you

I took what I was given but always wanted more
I was simply a monster to my core
But no longer I say not anymore
My mended wings aim to soar

A story of how a monster became a man is told
One of how a man watched things unfold
But I value all that I have now
That is my truth this is my vow

We are all different are many ways
But we share a beating heart and the ability to praise
Don't cling to the past though not forgotten we must move on
We must take what we've made for ourselves and stay strong

This is the story of a man climbing out of a hole
This is the tale of a mended soul
This is a tool made to teach life's not so bad
For I am one who is no longer sad
This is one of how a man fell from glory
This is the truth and this is my story
69 · Jan 2021
The leaf crying
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
The leaf crying to go back to tree

Tears pouring pain welling
Dried ones.
Wants to cling
But the mighty one
Towering up
You are with me little one till today
Go search your worth if any
Then the mother upon whose ***** it fell
Embraced and said
I am the origin,I am the end
Your circle is complete
You had your way
Now relax
You have come
After far away
Where there is no desire
No longings,no pain
Only belongings
62 · Jan 2021
Window panes
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
I want to look inside your window panes
A heart carrying stains
A mess she can't erase
Place your palm upon where it hurts
Someday, somehow
We'll find treasure in the dirt
In my arms, find your worth
Dragging chains
Carrying pain
And I thought of you today
I still see your pretty face
Even though you're not in this lonely place
I hope in all your faith that you found better days
I hope in all your grace that you still wander with wonder
I hope in all your ways that I'll see you again as mine someday
58 · Jan 2021
So I cry
Patrick Ramsey Jan 2021
Every single day, I want to write,
about you ~
Hoping that you can see it, and guide my pen,
I miss you ~
I feel bad, when I can't write, and have a block,
but I try ~
It's the only way I can feel you, we never got to say,
a goodbye ~
Do I feel ripped off? Hell yeah, I do.
but that's why ~
I must remain, on this earth, though I feel lonely,
but alive ~
You loved me, and I know that, and I miss being,
your world ~
But, you were mine too, and since you left, my whole life,
has been a whirl ~
Why'd you have to care about me? And please understand,
when you left ~
I wasn't prepared, I was alone, and I was scared,
half to death ~
I tried it twice, but I failed, I believed I'd see you,
if I died ~
Deep down inside, I wanted to live, I was so lost,
so I cried ~
Just know that today, I feel thankful, that you loved me,
and I try ~
To be a good person, because you showed me, what love should feel like,
so I cry
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
Another black man was shot to death today.
To those who took him down he moved too fast
Another story you know won't last.
Every road is the same when you travel in pain.
Every story you hear ends in fear.
The shortened road to his death was bitter and paved with evil.

Why the hatred? Isn't being alive enough?
What is it that festers inside?
That causes a man to **** another who only wants to live?
What is the start that places such hurting  in the heart?
Which casts no shadow and is not
susceptible to any appeal.
What is the truth that hides the root?
Where is the wisdom in such ignorance?

Their  language is the same but their words are not.
Their minds are filled with sickness.
With thoughts of cruelty.
Of anger and false pride.
Their feelings cower inside.
But all their voices are silent now.
All are nothing.
And there is nothing to hide.
55 · Nov 2020
Horrors
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
All these horrors you'll see
But only in your dreams
Driven mad by inner visions
You must hear beyond the screams
A wall of mist, a delirious fog
To cloud your eyes from all the fear
You're truly like Alice
For we are all mad here!

It's your system
Tainted and sickened
Another victim
Of a world truly wicked
Now it is clear!
Clearly all written!
A predisposition
Of all your decisions!
This what you chose
To join all of those
Who clearly oppose
The cure to your pain,
The cure to your woes!

To suffer, is to be set free
Without struggle, who can appreciate peace?
To feel pain, is to see clearly
For without pain, delusions do not cease
And man will never cease to be
Free of this blinding disease
Nor see the forest through the trees
Godhood is truly within reach
This lesson only pain can teach
55 · Nov 2020
It's time
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
It's time..
It's time we all see..
Where dreams can lead
An end that need not be
An end..
An end to heart beat..

So now..
Now does your heart bleed?
And is loneliness the seed?
The ****
What off you must feed
The sorrow so sweet!
Are you like me?
Drowning due to the state of your sanity!
What a calamity!
Tell me dear! Tell me!
What's left of your humanity?
Yes, I can see it plainly!
You're just like me!
All alone,
We must atone!
Do you dare behold,
This fate foretold?
Look in to the future, but pay a fatal price!
Can't communicate what you've seen with your own eyes!
Driving you mad, and you pray the fear and pain dies
But slowly over time it surely can only rise!
Don't be lonely! Join me in this pain!
We can never escape, lest the life of us will drain!
But we can find a way to make it work!
Just a possibility! Doesn't that hold worth?
We don't have to die! We don't have to hurt!
No we don't have to die! Never sleep in the dirt!
54 · Nov 2020
Mr President
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
Grow up Mr President and accept your fate
Give Biden a chance to make America great
The poles are not fixed as you indicate
You took it to court to the Magistrate
They found no findings cause you speculate
You should have been focused when you did your debate
Not using your mouth to dominate
The people were waiting for you to relate
Not to say your immune you feel great
The people have spoken as our votes tabulate
A Nation on edge as we patiently wait
For our 2021 president-elect and Donald Trump's fate
51 · Nov 2020
Message in a bottle
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
truth found in those miracles
mysterious yet believable
subtle within a whisper

listen...
can you hear it?

it is there,
but can you see it?

For the wind speaks in many voices
and stands the test of time
staying sealed within this bottle
for some soul to find.

You know it's real.
You KNOW
but do you feel it?

A message in a bottle
the truth we read in red
unable to accept it,
so we toss it out instead.

When will the seal be broken?
Its message spilled over the sands.
The truth impossible to find
while mixed with tiny grains.
But that time has not come yet,
the message floats on.
Forgotten by those who read it.

I write my love in the sand
and wait for the sun
to make infinite bottles.

While digging through life's pretty
I see this crystal glass
And write a muse filled ditty
Remove the top that's brass

If wishes were mere treasures
With notes scribed in ink's flow
I wonder what right measures
Would spin the bottle so

If you should find this bottle
lying washed up by the sea
please give a thought to what'll
be happening to ME!!

Fluidicity was the redefined language
amongst translated lines;
sanctity lingered
upon rivulets of spinning,
wanting nothing
more than to be read with easement of self
thought

A heavy heart,
a broken soul?
Their words stain the page.
A life forlorn;
then a second chance
Though they nearly lost their hold.

lost love I put in a scratch paper,
gently fold and inserted in my old bottle..
slowly it flows down the river,
smile because there's a consequences
and a happy riddle,
will it make it back to shore?
or simply drift into the unknown...?

Illusion spill like granules
of sparkling pyrite
chipped from the mind
instead of the heart

Drifting along on the river of Time
My bottled hopes sail away on the tide
Whilst my memory fades to a day long ago
When you promised to stay by my side


What does it all mean to me?
Something lost in the eyes of a mystery.
It asserts it all once existed.
It confirms that I may yet survive.

Now with patience as your virtue
and a heart so strong to guide
it will wash upon your own shore
with the message still inside

and reading what was placed into
this bottle in your hand
you'll take each step with courage
and spread peace throughout the land.
51 · Nov 2020
High pressure
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
Dense darky clouds of steam
are blurring my sight.
The valve is closed.
Impredictible thoughts
are crossing my arid desert
Explosive feelings
are looking for relief.

Where's the oasis
in this uncomfortable heat?
I need to open my veiled view,
to nourish my dried soul
with green, azure, yellow and red,
to be one with nature's features,
to dive in calm waters,
to feel the vitality of sun power,
to admire the beauty of a flower.
I need to smell new fragrances
and to feed my arid brain,
to cure with serene hues
my heart's dissonances
and transform it in fertile terrain.

High pressure discourages me.
Negatively charged clouds
overshadow
every rising light in me.
My tormented emotions
are now a terrible explosion
My sight is blurred
my limbs are trembling
my heart jumps madly
making me feel badly.

Finally
a caressing hand, a soothing voice
some uplifting words in this noise
a simple human touch
and suddenly the curtains fall
Here the longed-for oasis, my withdrawal
My desert is kissed by your loving sun
watered by your caring attention
nourished from the calm green of your nature
and blessed from your heart's red beauty

Calmness lies like fresh dew
my terrain is fertile anew
to receive and to give
Love

Patrick ramsey
51 · Nov 2020
Dig deeper
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
My heart goes out to those who hurt
From dead dreams and promises broken
Sometimes the diamonds are in the rough
Sometimes a gem is just a token

If you’ve been blinded by the shine
Of fool’s glittering gold
Toss that farce into the ocean deep
And listen to the advice my Daddy told

People come into your life
And make your ego swell
And when they’ve gone their selfish way
Daughter, dig a little deeper in the well

Love like water below the surface
Is clear as a chiming church bell
Daughter, seek out your own true love
By digging a little deeper in the well

Forget the shinning objects
With only lies to tell
Shine up a hidden treasure
Lying deeper in the well
50 · Nov 2020
Afraid to drink
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
You're afraid to drink
Because if you do it might make you think
Of all the ****** times you've been on the brink
Of self destruction, deep down you sink
Deep down you hate yourself for the things you need
So you alone to yourself this song you sing

Yeah you're so convinced that everything is fake
You don't even comprehend the risks that you would take
Just to find a way to not appear that you could break
But everybody does at some point for heavens sake

Baby it's okay to not be okay
Are you gonna burn out or fade away?
You don't wanna hear what I've got to say
But I believe that there will come a better day
So baby please just give me a chance
Life is passing by without a second glance
Yeah just take my hand
I promise I will help you understand
50 · Oct 2020
Rest my weary soul
Patrick Ramsey Oct 2020
Rest my weary soul
By Patrick ramsey


I finally sit and rest my weary soul.

Hope’s ether escapes through the punched holes in my skin.

Dragons chasing me through endless scorched and burnt fields
dimly lit by my own black sun.

It wasn’t until I raised my head and
let the rain pour down on my face.

The drops cleansed a life time of
wear and tear.

I opened my eyes and see the lion and the lamb.

Laying down together in the shade underneath the trees.

Children laughing and playing nearby.

The stream reflects the sun on its surface.

Sparkling diamonds float on top of the water.

I finally sit and rest my weary soul.
49 · Nov 2020
There is magic
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
There is something miraculously beautiful
in the poet's mind,
in how he lowers words into colorful pearls,
magical pearls that understand other souls,
cling to other hearts and ennoble them.
There is a magical way in which poetry
manages to touch those who love it.
It’s a magic that cannot be explained by science,
that the poetic soul understands when it’s by itself,
in silence.
There is also a miracle above all miracles:
with one push of a button,
the beads of verse begin to fly
and fly around the planet.
The world of poets
becomes a world without borders,
and such a path is light for others.
What a wonderful feeling!
A poet sends away his precious pearls,
knowing that hundreds of hearts,
all over the world,
will open to embrace them.
Then loneliness is no longer loneliness,
then sadness is no longer sadness,
wounds don’t hurt so much,
because the touch of poetry is the healing touch.
49 · Sep 2020
Fish out of water
Patrick Ramsey Sep 2020
"Fish out of water"
Written by me

When you quit your resistance and you finally crack
Let's take a walk down my path and we can look at the facts
You like to live your life reckless, yeah you live life fast
You got no sense of restraint, control is what you lack
Doomed to burnout young
You fly too close to the sun
You've felt death coming for your soul since you turned 21
But you don't care, cause you've numbed it all gone
Drinking with the devil, but you won't last long
Thought you'd get away but this time you're dead wrong
Cause down here, boy we're burning, and we're singing your song

So, Knock! Knock!
Boy! You better let me in!
Cause i don't like to wait for my meal to begin!
Yeah, Knock! Knock!
I got my foot in the door!
And I'm feeding off your misery, please give me some more

Another day, Another dollar spent on bottles of gin
Whiskey on your breath before the day can begin
If you drink a little more you might think you'll win
In love with all your demons, it's original sin!
You've been through it all
But you're still doomed to fall
Cause every time the bottle clinks you always answer the call
Drowning in liquor, you're a fish on a hook
Get away for a few days and it leaves you shook
You even bought *** instead of food to cook
So lets face it boy, your soul the bottle took!

So, Knock! Knock!
Boy! You better let me in!
Cause i don't like to wait for my meal to begin!
Yeah, Knock! Knock!
I got my foot in the door!
And I'm feeding off your misery, please give me some more
48 · Oct 2020
The sky is burning
Patrick Ramsey Oct 2020
The sky is burning
Fire raining on me while I'm searching
For what keeps this strange world turning
It's not real, or at least that's what I'm learning
A hard pill to swallow,
But these days all the people would much rather follow
Whoevers on the t.v. cause their hearts are hollow
These are people who will never see the world of tomorrow
Me and my kind at least can recognize
That this ain't the way the we should live life
Temporary distractions keep you paralyzed
Well **** all of that, I'd rather stay alive
48 · Oct 2020
Darkness settles
Patrick Ramsey Oct 2020
The darkness settles in because it knows it's here to stay
For the sun must always set at the end of each day
Until the morning comes to once again light the way
But until then my friend, the creatures will come to play
So when the moon is out be sure to hide out in bed
For the night is the time that the demons crawl out of your head
Only to torment you and fill you fragile heart with dread
They feast on pain and for too long have not been fed
47 · Nov 2020
Things you haven't seen
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
There are things you haven't seen .
There are places you have never been ..
There are paths you have yet to tread .
There are so many words still unheard even though they've been said .
There are ways that need to change ...
There are priorities to be rearranged ..
There are wrongs to be put to rights ..
There are worthy causes for which to fight ..

There are enemies to defeat ..
There are injustices to squarely beat  ..
There's always tomorrow that may not come ..
There's memories of yesterday , that's where we've come from ..
There's the future and the past..
There's many a day , when time goes by too fast ..
There are bridges still to cross ..
There are brutal battles to be won , or in sadness badly lost ..
There are honours bestowed , though not always earnt ..
There are , needless to say , lessons to still be learnt.
But it can all wait until tomorrow ..
Right now I'm very busy enjoying myself .
46 · Nov 2020
The right path
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
I'm laying in my bed and wonder
Which direction to take
Am I doing the right
Not to feel disappointing
I must choose the right path
But how can I know
In every step ones do
There must be consequences
Can I conquer the hill
Can I reach to  the deep ocean
Can I climb on the mountains
Can I fly to the sky
In the way up don't forget to meet
Those people who will lead you there
Be careful not to turn your head
To those one who will take you down
With them
Is it true about saying
You can do what ever you wish for
Just believe deep in your heart
And you already the half way to get there
Also saying that you must do efforts
To bring yourself your moments of glory
So should I choose the left
Or the right road
To get there to my pathway of life
46 · Nov 2020
On this track
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
On this Track

Further up along the track than you
Got on the same train, too
But I’m much further up the track
Perhaps it’s intelligence you lack
Perhaps it’s wisdom you lack
Whatever it is I’m further up ahead
I’m well said
Well read
And well bred
I’ve lead
I’ve also pulled a big sled
I know a few things or two
I knew it way before you
I know what to do
How bout you?
I know where and when
I’m done before you begin
When your on chapter one
I’m done with three
I get bored easily
I’m impatient
I’m a dissertation
I do more than enough
More than necessary
More than you and a bit more
I have a need to do more and more
I don’t know quit
I hate IT
Got me a big brain on this train
It’s good to be me
I’m a busy bee
But with this big brain
It don’t stop the rain
It don’t stop the pain
It didn’t help you remain
Always quick to figure
Pull my trigger
Always building bigger
But bigger don’t mean better
And sometimes better
Don’t get a dear John letter
This illusive battle between heart and thought
That everyone’s got
The love in heart
The think in thought
This war is fought
I’m further up the track than you
But you have more love than I do
For now I’ll enjoy the train
Choosing wisely not to complain
45 · Sep 2020
I was kind
Patrick Ramsey Sep 2020
I was kind

I am bright, lost a light
I am a night...
An unread soul behind the scene
A nervous head, couldn’t go to bed
Walking all the night, but!
For away can see a sight
Maybe a sun and a kite
You didn’t find,
Yesterday, I was kind.

Thoughts please!
Regards,

Patrick Ramsey
43 · Nov 2020
Mental conditioning
Patrick Ramsey Nov 2020
Brains shrink in volume,
With forty thousand limiting beliefs.

Disheartened for varied thoughts,
Am I black?
Am I not beautiful?
Am I skinny or too fat?
Have I got an ugly front row of teeth?

Society fills up the blanks,
In their unpublished question paper.
Contributes to fill your emotional baggage.

You aren't rich,you aren't smart,
Unable to speak English!!.
Why to arrest your self esteem,
To the  loquacious kings of your town?

Accept the values within self,
Come out of the cocoon,
Fly high, disregard the empty talks,
Be the king of your own realm.
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