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Feb 2018 · 200
Tomorrow Before Yesterday
Sleeping our way through: house, kids, & wife
Same stuff different day, this is the way of life
Work until you die, earn a *** to ****
Separation of us is not something amiss
Commercial drug dealers, more side effects than a sin
Another one down, another black coffin
Flies in a web, take this and stop the itch
Media makes loud noises and we glitch
Conscious and sub blends, it poors to rain
Opened your eyes and now you're insane
Everything you knew was never true
Brand new eyes, the sky was never blue
Happiness was created for one, just in that percent
Titles my name without my consent
Parents don't parent and teachers don't teach
Parties of red or blue have never been in our reach
Everyone thinks they're right and the world is wrong
Sexes and races ******* up and don't belong
This is the world we live in, not exactly the human way
Yet we continue trying to fix tomorrow before yesterday
Feb 2018 · 252
Best Of Me
Waiting and wanting a new day
Tired of every pain that comes my way
I need a new name, a new place
I can't stand to continue looking at the same face
In such need of a new me
Just give me a sign, anything
All this pain can't be for nothing
I pray and pray and still no outcome
There's little fight left in me, in what I've become
Sometimes I feel a monster fighting to be released
The monster this world has created inside of me
A beast that need not escape
For it will destroy what's left of me
With each day pass, I feel it getting stronger
My will to defeat it becoming weaker
Sometimes I want it to win and I just quit it
All these tears makes it grow
Battle become brittle Where I want nothing but to be below
I'd escape this constant torment
What's left of me is less than one percent
This world is darkening my heart
The things I loved the most have been ripped apart
This is what it's come to be
As I start to realize that the beast, is the best of me
Feb 2018 · 182
Blood Of My Inkwell
Words drawn from my blood
Emotions on paper flow in flood

Exposing ****** fluids
Pain from my past is deeply rooted

Written from deep within
Wounds unhealed embedded in my skin

Tears make it just enough bitter
Smiles through life; a shape shifter

Regular ink isn't strong enough
My own cut is the pen to my handcuffs

Sets me free from my demise
My room of mirrors countered; clockwise

Smothered and spilled with travail
My own created nib is frail
So I use blood in my inkwell
Watered down, colored in pastel
Feb 2018 · 176
A Long Road Of Night
Trees and trees for as far as I can see
"How much further? I am so tired"
"Keep going we're almost there"
None of it mattered, you were the one I admired

You won't carry me but I am so little
Still no sign of life nowhere in sight
Nothing but a road led by moonlight
Seeing three stars align
Night by night, I felt like they were mine

I see a light miles away
An old woman need not persuade
She gave us blankets and said we could stay

Crickets chirping a lullaby
A new pillow and the same pain I've had all day
She kept Faith and always said
"We will find a way, we'll be okay"

Morning came with thank you's and goodbyes
Rubbing my belly and my eyes
I'm too young to see her lies
Cars going by hoping someone will stop

I knew this was wrong but she said it was right
Years go by, and we're still on this long road of night
Feb 2018 · 178
Enough
They don't understand that death is the only place that is safe
No more pain, no more hurt
I'm better off in a deep sleep, yet painfully awake
Eyes wide open
I wish I was blind
I can't move forward, I stay behind
One step ahead knocked five steps back
Never-ending battle
I'm not enough, too much I lack
Constant tears hidden with a smile
Misunderstood, it's all in my head
Thoughts are in constant manifest
Let me go, I'm not meant to be here
I love too much, at the same time
I couldn't care less
I walk around like I'm strong
My mask is brittle
Where do I belong?
Purpose is little
Life full of lies
I don't wanna know what's good for me
I was born to die
Feb 2018 · 176
Zombie In My Place
Handful of peace, I loved and I cried
Years of this ****, had everything, I died
It wouldn't go away, a disease
Torn in every direction, all I wanted a peace
Begged and pleaded God to give me a reason
My flaws are like an open season
He thinks he saved me, the look on his face
He has no idea that it's just a zombie in my place
I can't keep living like this, it's hell in my mind
Searched in space, my purpose I couldn't find
Everyone thinks it's self pity
I wish it was but this feeling is pretty ******
Understated I know, I'm just really ******* myself
I put everyone before me and my feelings on a shelf
I've tried everything to fix it
I was never really that strong; I just shifted
Family was never there, they wanted me to fall
I loved them even when they didn't deserve me at all
Everything I love is taken away from me
It's like I wasn't ever meant to be
There's really not much else to say
I still can't find a reason even to this day
I don't belong not even in space
Ever since that day there's been a zombie in my place
Feb 2018 · 160
Upside Down Inside Out
Filling a hole I thought could be filled
With a family of my own
He was perfect and fit the bill
Showed me a love that was unknown
Money and glamour all around
Nobody has ever been this kind
How could I be this lucky?
Like a bomb he blew my mind
Now years have gone by
And expecting a baby girl
I'm laying in bed, feel a power of might
Skin turning black and blue
Man, he really didn't mean it
It wasn't him his foot didn't fit the shoe
"I'm sorry" I've heard time after time
Now another woman is pregnant
Why is he still a man of mine?
What has become of my life?
This isn't what I had planned
All I wanted was to be a mother and a wife
I fear that promise will be broken
Not this time, this is my life!
I couldn't see the warnings even when we shout
With a comparison of my dreams and reality
My life has really turned
Upside down and inside out
Feb 2018 · 115
Love Is Right Here
She searched and searched
A new man with the same ending
She kept getting hurt and hurt
Keeping hope with new beginnings
A child follows with repercussions
With eyes so innocent and green
Each guy with different intentions
She pretends she doesn't see
Her search for true love blinds her
From the trauma her child endures
Too many alike but this one
could be the one she sure
She knew something was wrong
But she was too scared
He had glares for her baby
But she didn't care
She knew she wouldn't find better
She wasn't good enough
One day she would explain in an apology letter
The innocence is gone and she sees
Her baby is not the same
Still she pretends everything is fine
swallows her shame and tells herself,
She will be healed with time
He turned out to be another,
Her daughter says "don't worry mommy, we'll always have each other"
She swears she will find love
She doesnt know what's she's doing wrong
Hoping and praying to the one above
That somebody is out there for her
To love her through her flaws
She forgets to remember
Love never left her side
With a face full of tears,
Her daughter looks up and says "Love is Right Here"
Feb 2018 · 237
Dreamcatcher
Oh phantom creature deep within;
Arrests the villainous energies,
weeps in sin

Purposed to extract the bad and the univited
Eclipsed with confusion, undivided

Woven with good intentions and prebenediction
A needed cleanse full of fiction

Feathered dreams become crippling
Vacated your mission, entities are listening

When does the nightmares end?
Where do dreams start or begin?

Phantom creature captured in cluttered mesh
Accelerated speed; aging faster than the flesh

One bead away from the shatter
A blast of broken pieces..

scattered
Feb 2018 · 139
Streetlights
Green eyes glisten in the moonlight
City noises cars going by, sitting on the rooftop the future lost sight
Wondering where life will take her, will she be alright?
She's been strong her whole life, she wonders if it's worth her might
Too many battles, the war is not her fight
Looking back, seeing how she lost her sight
Days in and out, the world keeps turning just look at the streetlights

Street lights ran on a timer, expected without knowing
Same as her beauty, pain without showing
Her path is unknown, her tears start flowing
Broken and defeated, her heart begins snowing
Never good enough, her spirit is bowing

Beauty is pain, her smile brings light to a room
Inside full of demons, her core becomes doom
A seed is all she has with just enough bloom
Only a goddess has this strength in a tomb
She knows her worth in the mist of perfume
Head heel high, this is just another monster to consume

Life runs in eight, the world sees her figure
Enjoying the smallest of things, dreaming of leisure
Pleasure of pain keeps her going, not submitting
Hair in the wind, that would be fitting
She can't help but notice all of her failings
Her children cry because her choices are untelling

Expected to be like her mother, becomes her biggest fear
Like an open book, her soul full of sheer
Battling yesterday's self, her memory is a tear
Proceeding is her only choice
Love and hope will always be her inner voice
Her emotions are not boring
Street lights will always be her story

— The End —