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Sleeping our way through: house, kids, & wife
Same stuff different day, this is the way of life
Work until you die, earn a *** to ****
Separation of us is not something amiss
Commercial drug dealers, more side effects than a sin
Another one down, another black coffin
Flies in a web, take this and stop the itch
Media makes loud noises and we glitch
Conscious and sub blends, it poors to rain
Opened your eyes and now you're insane
Everything you knew was never true
Brand new eyes, the sky was never blue
Happiness was created for one, just in that percent
Titles my name without my consent
Parents don't parent and teachers don't teach
Parties of red or blue have never been in our reach
Everyone thinks they're right and the world is wrong
Sexes and races ******* up and don't belong
This is the world we live in, not exactly the human way
Yet we continue trying to fix tomorrow before yesterday
Waiting and wanting a new day
Tired of every pain that comes my way
I need a new name, a new place
I can't stand to continue looking at the same face
In such need of a new me
Just give me a sign, anything
All this pain can't be for nothing
I pray and pray and still no outcome
There's little fight left in me, in what I've become
Sometimes I feel a monster fighting to be released
The monster this world has created inside of me
A beast that need not escape
For it will destroy what's left of me
With each day pass, I feel it getting stronger
My will to defeat it becoming weaker
Sometimes I want it to win and I just quit it
All these tears makes it grow
Battle become brittle Where I want nothing but to be below
I'd escape this constant torment
What's left of me is less than one percent
This world is darkening my heart
The things I loved the most have been ripped apart
This is what it's come to be
As I start to realize that the beast, is the best of me
Words drawn from my blood
Emotions on paper flow in flood

Exposing ****** fluids
Pain from my past is deeply rooted

Written from deep within
Wounds unhealed embedded in my skin

Tears make it just enough bitter
Smiles through life; a shape shifter

Regular ink isn't strong enough
My own cut is the pen to my handcuffs

Sets me free from my demise
My room of mirrors countered; clockwise

Smothered and spilled with travail
My own created nib is frail
So I use blood in my inkwell
Watered down, colored in pastel
Trees and trees for as far as I can see
"How much further? I am so tired"
"Keep going we're almost there"
None of it mattered, you were the one I admired

You won't carry me but I am so little
Still no sign of life nowhere in sight
Nothing but a road led by moonlight
Seeing three stars align
Night by night, I felt like they were mine

I see a light miles away
An old woman need not persuade
She gave us blankets and said we could stay

Crickets chirping a lullaby
A new pillow and the same pain I've had all day
She kept Faith and always said
"We will find a way, we'll be okay"

Morning came with thank you's and goodbyes
Rubbing my belly and my eyes
I'm too young to see her lies
Cars going by hoping someone will stop

I knew this was wrong but she said it was right
Years go by, and we're still on this long road of night
They don't understand that death is the only place that is safe
No more pain, no more hurt
I'm better off in a deep sleep, yet painfully awake
Eyes wide open
I wish I was blind
I can't move forward, I stay behind
One step ahead knocked five steps back
Never-ending battle
I'm not enough, too much I lack
Constant tears hidden with a smile
Misunderstood, it's all in my head
Thoughts are in constant manifest
Let me go, I'm not meant to be here
I love too much, at the same time
I couldn't care less
I walk around like I'm strong
My mask is brittle
Where do I belong?
Purpose is little
Life full of lies
I don't wanna know what's good for me
I was born to die
Handful of peace, I loved and I cried
Years of this ****, had everything, I died
It wouldn't go away, a disease
Torn in every direction, all I wanted a peace
Begged and pleaded God to give me a reason
My flaws are like an open season
He thinks he saved me, the look on his face
He has no idea that it's just a zombie in my place
I can't keep living like this, it's hell in my mind
Searched in space, my purpose I couldn't find
Everyone thinks it's self pity
I wish it was but this feeling is pretty ******
Understated I know, I'm just really ******* myself
I put everyone before me and my feelings on a shelf
I've tried everything to fix it
I was never really that strong; I just shifted
Family was never there, they wanted me to fall
I loved them even when they didn't deserve me at all
Everything I love is taken away from me
It's like I wasn't ever meant to be
There's really not much else to say
I still can't find a reason even to this day
I don't belong not even in space
Ever since that day there's been a zombie in my place
Filling a hole I thought could be filled
With a family of my own
He was perfect and fit the bill
Showed me a love that was unknown
Money and glamour all around
Nobody has ever been this kind
How could I be this lucky?
Like a bomb he blew my mind
Now years have gone by
And expecting a baby girl
I'm laying in bed, feel a power of might
Skin turning black and blue
Man, he really didn't mean it
It wasn't him his foot didn't fit the shoe
"I'm sorry" I've heard time after time
Now another woman is pregnant
Why is he still a man of mine?
What has become of my life?
This isn't what I had planned
All I wanted was to be a mother and a wife
I fear that promise will be broken
Not this time, this is my life!
I couldn't see the warnings even when we shout
With a comparison of my dreams and reality
My life has really turned
Upside down and inside out
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