When I am bliss I write
When I am doomed I write
When I am full of rage I write
When I can’t sleep at night I write
When I fall in love I dream

I'm disgusted by myself
Because I am starting to believe in your song
And barely dancing the way you want

I am a deformed poet
Love poems are where my ink faltered
Love stories have bad endings written

I am half-poet and half-crackpot
The bouquet of roses crushed
by jealousy and the expectation that eyes peep

I am just a poet
Last night I tried to pen
out of the blue, my fingers sadden

Only love in the grave
I taste more than
the purest vow in the altar

I look like a rose
Laying on my immense throne
Feeding beggars with my thorn
My worn petals which haven't yet thrown

I'm a rose,
An eerie rose
Assume me uglier than spider's legs
Deluge my masses with the amazing empty hopes
Inevitably their croon as a lullaby for me

Sometimes I care
About their head
About their neck
Also their pocket
When it gets fewer
Frantic!
My reek palace will be tinier

Come on,
I'm not the worst
Even roses have thorns
Yet mine are deadly noxious

Humans are made from star-dust
Thus need to be remembered
There is no a single star born
without a light

If you yearn for me
You can find another me behind my poems!

Read it loudly
Read it until the longing vanish
Read it with your heart
Read it until my another me hugging you tight  

I know my poems are not magical spells,
that prince mumbles it to against the doomed
For sure, yearning is not the doomed

my poems are just a part of me
That may fill you
Or another part of you

Whether its just one couplet
Read it loudly, then you’ll be complete
With a part of me in it

Portulaca bloom
Dandelion plumes
This beautiful moon
Witnesses our painful adieu

Sunshine at summer
Sunshine at almost summer
How could this lover
Be betrayed by her unbearable desire

Waves push and pull
Until they sweep ashore
Love, I am a fool
See, what the left in me is just the sore

Aku jatuh cinta kepada apapun yang bebas.

Bebas yang bukan seperti layangan-layang di langit lapangan. Terlihat bebas namun angin dan benang tak terlihat oleh mata. Menggerakkan yang apa ada di udara.

Bebas yang bukan seperti para ikan. Mereka berenang di dalam lautan, menyusuri lautan yang sepertinya tak terbatas. Mereka berenang ke air mana pun yang mereka mau. Mereka berenang tanpa tanpa tahu, terdapat langit di atas lautan, yang merampas dan mengembalikan air laut mereka.

Bebas bukan seperti aku. Menulis ini dengan bahasa, yang katanya bahasa dari bangsa yang telah merdeka. Kemerdekaan bukan sembarang kemerdekaan. Bangsa yang merebut kemerdekaan, namun rasanya kemerdekaan ku hanya berpindah lengan.

I do not feed my anxiety
It feeds me in daily
I’ve grown up in between this world and society
endure the sore that fulfills my blood vessel and also the agony

Thus,
what type of human do I become?

I am  
Brave as waves
Firm as gravitation
Delicate as  dandelion
Bright as stars between planets
Idyllic as messy nebula
Free as wind
Beautiful as roses
Amused as a baby
Loved as a Queen

And lie as proses above

My friends wake up at 5 AM every day
to making a breakfast
For her husband

I wake up at 9 A.M every day
then dancing with my favorite song

My friends sleep at 3 A.M
because her baby can’t stop
crying and pooping

I sleep at 3 A.M also
Cause I can’t flee from
My past haunting mistakes

My friends have a decent lovely
Complete family

I have a dense bullet
aiming into my head

My friends are busy
Planing a future financial

me and the other gloomy friends
still planing a good vacation
Which we’re going to cancel it
Because we’re just a bunch of overthinking
Human being

I need sleep
Yet Sleep doesn't need me
I can know it through her
pair of crystalline eyes

Isn't that funny?
Sleep doesn't sleep
Thus I can gaze into her
Sparkling crystalline eyes
And stay up
All night

End up
My eyes crystalize
Then sparke
All night

Make your heart keeps alive
Once it’s dead
You’ll end up in such a mess

I do not need gravity
To falling
In love with you

I just want to escape from the Earth
Then cry overnight above the Mars

Mars is colder than the Earth
It is a better place to come and cry
Because why do I cry in a warm place
Because why do I grieve between blooming flowers

Earth is a symbol of life
Yet why I feel dead when everybody calls it day
Deity bestows Earth the splendid mother nature of life
Yet why I still suffocate while other humans are breathing

I don’t think Earth created for me
Mars's coldness is what I need
Let me hug Mars for a night
Forgetting what I have on the Earth

Bring me to a home
With the highest roof, no one would step on
With dense walls, no one could ever knock it down
With immense windows, letting starlight shines my hollow

Take me to the home
Or any home  

My home is just fine
Yet it is still dreadful when I am awake
My nightmare starts right after
When I open my eyes

The air wrings the throat
A glass of water will never enough for this thirst
Yellow, black, violet, blue, and red as clothes
Possessing the same function, covering my disgraces
Foremost, the reality always bestows
A nice greeting ahead from the others

Place me at any home
Which does not have reality in it
Neither criterion of life quality maybe
Comparing and demanding
Will be an enemy

Why?
Should not we feel safe in our own home?
If even there isn’t enough window
You still can open the door
To stare at the moonlight, glow your hollow

Hello world, I am a dusty flower
among ****** pebbles
gathered on the road which
no one can see us
even though we do not hide

Hello world, I am that kid
who weeps when a bombshell happens
instead of a hanky that I get
They bestow me such beautiful fiery bullets
right on both of these eyes
what a lucky me
My tears are stopped
Then, I will never weep again

Helelleow
Hello woorld

Hello world, I am that kid
who always summon
God's name in every single I take
a sharply gravel and throw it into the sky
not even one-minute passes
God answers me already
and He tells me
Son, you don't need to summon me anymore!

How lucky I am, all I need is just one gravel
then I can meet Him in Behest

H e ll o, woo rrl dd

Hello, world
I am that kid
who until now
cannot understand
are we even living on the same earth?

once I've heard about the other kids
on another side of this earth
when the sun slowly disappear
their mothers look for them and take them home
enough for playing!
Their mothers say

I kn ee ww
Ikh
Ikne
I knew,

I knew this world already knew
that, I am that kid
who does not have a mother
nor home
Yet has the world known?
that I also don't have the sun  

Because
All of my days sense cold, as an endless snowstorm
Because
All of my days look dark, as a hole embedded  in my mother's head
Because
The sun is just for them, who guarded by fully armed soldiers

Be caaus e

He ee ll o wo  oo rlll d
a rre yo uu st ii ll t h eerr ee ?

He llo wor ll d, I aam thha t kiii dd
wh oo stil ll ha s g uts to sp e eak up
yet th e y cut of f my  th roa t

Hel lo ww oor lld…
I AA M THA
II AAM THAAT K
HEELL OO WO RRLL DD ?? !

HELL ..!

The light behind my eyes
The light inside my heart
If they are gone
If one day I lose those

The beauty behind my smile
The beauty inside my said
If they are gone
If one day I lose those

The trust behind my hope
The trust inside my dream
If they are gone
If one day I lose those

The will behind my life
The will inside my every single breath
If they are gone
If one day I lose those

Burial me next to my pet’s grave
For the sweetener, scatter roses petals on it

Sky without fringe
Blue itself resembles sea
Two stars collide
In the dark, the radiances merge

The memories remain
If we live forever
Then even afterlife
I'll possess you inside my mind

As a dark matter, I'm there
As magical stars, you're there
I stay still, no one misses
Sudden your warmth reaches

Our flesh is imminent without the edge
Collide, your radiances perfectly bewitch
I thought we were limitless
Two souls could merge

Even after dispart, you're resplendent
You've found another sky to shine
Even after our love is doomed
You're still in the sky, in the other sky

The memories remain
Sometimes they invade
Sensing nausea, my part has vanished
Spinning between anxiety, my heartiness cherishes

I do not have a future
So future won't see me
Then I pray for my death
Yet life still asking me

Love always feels hurt

You have Love, it hurts
You don't have Love, it hurts

You have two Loves, those hurt
You have half Love, it also hurts

Every scenario Love  provides
There is always a hurtful part
You deserve to endure

If a trash could write a poetry
Would you like to read?
Or you just regard it ******
Cause nothing worth comes from it

Nobody is cold
You are just not
their favorite person

Touch my breast
Touch my ***
Everybody thinks those are public properties

Fight for the right of being women
Offended by sexiest jokes
Everybody judges me as a convensional boring chick

**** my body
**** my free willing of going every where without afraid for becoming an object of cat calling
Everybody calls it, modernist
women need another level of being open

Ask me my phone number
Follow me until finding where my home
Everybody labels it as madly falling in love, women dont need to be terrified

I have done enough at noon
I have run fast crossing the line between reality and illusion
Then some sleep is better for me
Tonight until morning maybe

The skies seem timeless, they always offer me plenty of delight light, sparkle the hollow in my eyes
The sounds of children’s giggles also summon my worn bliss within me, which is seldom to happen, the happiness  
Then some sleep is better for me
Tonight until morning maybe

Do not attempt my soul, my flesh, my universe
If you examine my heart carefully, Jet bleeding from the past ache adorns what is inside, all over my rib’s wall covered by the blood  
Then some sleep is better for me
Tonight until morning maybe

Still, I can’t fall asleep
Still, the caustic rancor of mine burns my sweet blanket until the flame touches my skin,
Still, there is nothing under my pillow, yet my ears hear the terrible croon as it is from the abyss  
Still, God never actually come in and save me between my beautiful, beautiful nightmare,
Then some sleep is better for me
Tonight until morning in my afterlife

Sun was created for burning herself
she does not mind about her body being scorch
In day and night, her flame pierces my rib
Bestowing warmth inside my heart  

Still, I am sightless, ignoring her kindness
Wasting her pain in daily and call it edgy
Keep doing nothing unless loathing my flesh
Cursing my life because it doesn’t look like everybody

Yet sun never get mournful
She keeps burning her flesh
Resembles as her flame
her hopes for me never slake

Shame on me
Shame on me

Mom, I am sorry

We share the same dream
thus, I have nothing to worry
thus, I don't need to flee
even though sleeping on the coldest night
even though my nightmare starts when I wake up

You make my fall night feel warmer

We share the same morning coffee
Sun becomes useless when that smile appears slowly
or hearing that soft voice which as plumes of swan
thus, I can stand for the next hundreds of dawn

You make my coffee taste sweeter

The day that we fought
Our last squabble through the night  
Not the loudest
still the most
breathe taken

I said nothing then stillness swallowed us

He said nothing, but I knew what he wanted
He said nothing, but I heard “I am tired‟ from his lips
He said nothing, but I heard “we aren’t happy anymore‟ in his voice
He said nothing, but I clearly heard ” we lose our laugh‟

He said nothing

Just nothing

Yet I replied, “I give up, we are done.”

He still kept his void and just gone

You were awful funny
I adored your sense of humor
Mostly your jokes could amuse me
Yet somehow, some of your jokes dipped me into confusion
I did not even chuckle

Those when
the first you said that you loved me
And the second time, you left me behind

At that time, I did not know you were joking
And either I did not know I should laugh or bleeding

You were awful
Funny

Ocean under icecap
Sun wonders ‘can she make it melt?’
       How could I escape
       You trap me with that smile

Every one posses shadow
They follow the person everywhere they go
Even in the darkest night
Slowly going after the host

I remember, saw your shadow
For the first time, I could not stop
Gazing then flinching for a night
Slowly being threatened by the host

I convince myself that possessing the shadow
Is normal for every creature in this world
Nothing to be eerie even in my sleeping night
Slowly slipping in failing affection of the host

Only the light does not possess a shadow
I do not blame him for what in his hold
He isn’t my light even at the sightless night
Slowly letting me go, is better for our both

As showered by the stars
One by one fulfills my heart
Feels warm and glad can’t deny
Yet I listen to your heart does bray  

As we had promised,
We were under the big tree
When we were so naive
We would always be amused
Even though this world says
Something else like cry!

I am fine, do not bestow me such a smile
If your smile tells me a lie
I am deaf, your giggle sounds
Terrible as a nightmare song
Cause it holds the tears down

I am fine, utter to me now!
that you adorn this life by the tenon
I am blind, when I bleed you are the one
who aids me by your beaming face in the noon

I wish you told me sooner

Now I am singing a song before you die

I wish God never created such a thing we named it time

Right after you have faded away

I am sorry
I have been fine while I was so deaf and blind to you

Pluto falls in love with Sun
Pluto just can not take her eyes from him
How shining he is
How warm he is
How glory he is
How lovely he is

All definition of beauty he has

Somehow Sun just cannot see
Who is behind the darkness?
Cause in the center of the solar system he glares
Too bright until he gets blind

One day, Mercury tells him
About a creature behind Neptune
Send him plenty of loves
The freezing loves

He never knew
There was a creature
Which his glare still can reach it
Yet stay still frozen and icy

Thus
Sun inquires, how the cold feels like
Pluto shouts out, watching you from the distance!

It was getting cold
warm breath beside my ear
turning cold and frizzy

I was trying to make it
warm like it used to be
I was trying to change this

starting to burning
anything around, hoping
that breath wasn't freezing

instead of the unseen
ice inside his breath
getting melted

it stayed still freezing  
the fire wasn't enough burning
yet I had nothing to give

thus I burned myself
gave my flesh to keep
the fire wouldn't be dead

I said to myself
I need more and more fire
what else I can burn and burn till that can turn

I said to myself
hold it a little bit more and more
He won't be as cold as night anymore  

fire was on
yet his breath was still cold

fire was on
I couldn't take the control

fire was on
promptly touching my soul

fire was on
I wish I was never holding him on

I need water
Yet my bottle is empty
I want a lover
Would you like to be my baby?

Stop penning love poems

I loathe all of those

because once I read

I get erratic

asking

from where are these tears
and feelings belonging

I've been left by everything
you've left nothing

is that how you feel?

Your name sounds like a poem in spring
I love to write poems

spring always smells sweet
As the snow slowly melts
As birds start to sing again
Your name carves the beauty of blooming

land me your name to adorn
I promise it will be a lovely poem as this spring comes

Clouds pile up around a luminous Sun
The light bestows plenty of soft warmth
Touching everybody’s laugh
Desiccating everybody’s tears

Your name is formed by two words
Six syllables and hundreds meaning

I know spring will never stand forever
Autumn and winter is just a time
Even if your name is a poem in spring
That has been carved in everybody’s heart

I said, land me your name, land me a poem
To complete flowers to bloom

Now, you can leave with a smile
Without being worry to fade away
Every lovely poem is hard to forget
We will meet next spring, I promise

Your name resembles stanzas in a spring song
Wind in that flower hill rings your name along