FIGHTING

I feel like I'm fighting, something I can't see
I feel like I'm fighting, who I want to be
She wants to be happy, she wants to smile
I guess it's okay, if it takes a while?
I feel like I'm fighting, the demons inside
I feel like I'm fighting, when I just want to hide
I know she's in there somewhere, crying to come out
Why does no one hear her, no matter how loud her shout?
I feel like I'm fighting, but the battle I can't win
I feel like I'm losing, against the monster within....

've never felt so numb
This day has struck me dumb
I know it's not my place
To get into your space
I feel so helpless, without a clue
I don't know what to do
To make it all okay
To make your pain go away
I just wish you were here
So I could dry your tears
And hold your hand,
So you understand
That even though you're heart's breaking
And it feels like it won't stop aching
That I'm here for you
And everything I do
Is to always be
The person you need me to be....

I have no heart, I have no soul
And honestly, if truth be told
They're things that I am better without
And honestly, I have no doubt
My heart is broken, beyond repair
And honestly, I just don't care
My soul is gone, it won't return
And honestly, in Hell it can burn....

Take me to a place
Where it doesn't hurt
Take me to a place
Where I won't get burnt
Take me to a place
Where I can be happy again
Take me to a place
Where there is no pain
Take me to a place
Where I can be me
Take me to a place
Where I can be free
me to a place
Where I don't feel alone
Take me to a place
That I can call home....

A year ago today
I found out you were here
As the doctor spoke the words
I barely shed a tear

A year ago today
Was the day my life changed
I couldn’t take it in at all
There were no words to say

A year ago today
I didn't know what to do
The shock was overwhelming
How could there be a 'You'?

A year ago today
I found out you weren’t meant to be
It didn't make sense, this wasn't meant to happen
The words burned my heart, you see

Now, one year later
If you had stayed with us, here
What would you have been like?
Would you have been like me?

Now, one year later
Would you have been like Dad?
He wonders too, what could have been
It still makes him so sad

We didn't know you were here
We hadn't planned it, we don't know why
But it still breaks our hearts some days
And it still makes us cry

We didn't know you were here
And even though it wasn't meant to be
You still touched us, more than you know
Forever, with us, you will be

After all this time, I still look for your name
You will never leave my thoughts, no matter the pain
I honestly wish you knew what you'd done
But it's okay for you, you've up and gone
I wish I could tell you what you meant to me
But hey, who cares, you'll never see
The hurt I still feel, the tears I've shed
The heartbreak that still lingers, how much I've bled
You'll never know, and you'll never care
That if you needed me now, I'd be right there
But you've forgotten me, and all we went through
And I wish I didn't, but deep down, I still love you....

I should have known this would happen
That nothing for me can last
I should have realised from the start
That I'd suffer another broken heart
It's no one's fault but my own
That I feel the way I do
Though I feel like I can't help it
Because you just keep being you
As my ideal world is crashing
Around my ears, and my heart
One thought keeps going through my head:
I should have realised from the start....

When will I learn?
I should have worked out
My fate won't turn
Just becuase you're around
When will I see?
That things won't change
So many years it's been
Things are still the same
When will I know?
That it won't last
I need to let go
Of you and the past
I know I'll learn
When you leave me in pain
My tears will burn
And my heart will break again

After all this time, I still look for your name
You will never leave my thoughts, no matter thee pain
I honestly wish you knew what you'd done
But it's okay for you, you've up and gone
I wish I could tell you what you meant to me
But hey, who cares, you'll never see
The hurt I still feel, the tears I've shed
The heartbreak that still lingers, how much I've bled
You'll never know, and you'll never care
That if you needed me now, I'd be right there
But you've forgotten me, and all we went through
And I wish I didn't, but deep down, I still love you....

Do you ever feel
That it isn't enough?
Do you ever feel
Like it's all too much?
Do you ever just
Want to walk away?
And try again
Another day?
I have these days
And good ones too
If my current self
Only knew
That it would get better
That it's okay to be sad
It's okay to be upset
It's okay to be bad
My brain seems to understand
What my heart doesn't see
I guess I need to know
Will someone be there for me?
To tell me it's okay
That's I'm doing the best I can
And just be there
To hold my hand
When it's all too much to take
When I can't see the light
To tell me I'm strong enough
To stand up and fight.

Say you'll stay with me
And I'll give you my all
No matter what you say, or do
I'll always be here when you call.
Why can't you love me?
I just want to know
What have I done that's so wrong
To make you want to go?
We've been through so much
I just can't say goodbye
You know I'll always love you
So give me one good reason why
Why can't you love me?
I just want to know
What have I done that's so wrong
To make you want to go?
I'll always be by your side
No matter what comes our way
Please don't run from me
I just want you to say
Why you can't love me
I just want to know
What I can do to make it right
To make you not want to go?

You were here, I didn't know
You never had the chance to grow
Now you're gone, and I'm not sure
If for my feelings, there is a cure
You were here, and now you're not
Somewhere inside me, there is a spot
That aches, that cries, that wants to just die
That wants to know, the reason why
You were here, but not for long
I don't know, if I can be strong
Strong enough to let you go
To try and let my feelings show
You were here, I'm not sure why
I'll find the strength, to say goodbye
You were here, and now you're gone....

You make me smile, you make me cry,
And through my tears I wonder why?
Why we go through so much pain,
When really, what is there to gain?

The things we want, or need
Are those we that can't have
Or we have to wait for
To see if they will last
My time with you is slipping
I don't know what to say
That will make the break easier
To stop the inevitable pain
I can say that I'll treasure
Every second I can be with you
And I hope that somehow
You feel the same way too
I can't say I won't cry
When it's time for me to go
But I can say I'll miss you
And hope you'll think of me too....

The things we want, or need
Are those we that can't have
Or we have to wait for
To see if they will last
My time with you is slipping
I don't know what to say
That will make the break easier
To stop the inevitable pain
I can say that I'll treasure
Every second I can be with you
And I hope that somehow
You feel the same way too
I can't say I won't cry
When it's time for me to go
But I can say I'll miss you
And hope you'll think of me too....

It's taken some time, and a whole lot of pain. But finally I'm starting to see the sun, and not just the rain. I've hurt the ones I love the most, the people I hold dear, I hope you can forgive me, and still let me stay near. The clouds are at last lifting, so I can find my way, I know I'm getting stronger, a little more each day. I will always love you all, you mean the world to me. I hope we can get back to where we once were, and you get to see the me I want to be....

Sometimes I wonder
Why I even care
Whenever I turn to you
You're somehow never there
I know you think I'm crazy
Some days I think so too
But even though I shouldn't
I still worry about you
People say I'm selfish
And I need to let go
But I still hurt when you do
I think you should know
No matter what may come
I'll always be here
And will do my best
To wipe away your tears
Don't forget I loved you
And will always care
Whenever you need me call on me
I'll always be there....

It's a little too late to tell me now
Even if I could believe it somehow
It might have been true, when you said 'I love you'
But we both knew, and still do
That our timing's way off, and I just can't say
If in another ten years, I'll feel the same way
Trust you, once again, to tear my heart in two
Trust me, once again, to be the fool, because I love you too....