I know I am often sad and tend to block out the universe.
I know that I lack the qualities that your last lover obtained, but I promise to stay true.
When your fragile soul aches at 3:00am I'll be right there besides you singing you to sleep.
When the hateful words of society come flooding through your ears I'll be right there besides you proving them wrong.
You are beautiful.
I love you.

I'm sitting on my bedroom floor and still don't understand why you chose her.
A whirlwind of thoughts have been rushing through my head.
I get it.
She is the epitome of beautiful.
The way her glossy hair cascades down her back.
The way her makeup highlights her features in the most intricate of ways.
The way she walks; elegant and poised.
I cannot compete with that.
No, I am not a "looker" as she.
My crinkly brown hair does not cascade down my back, it slumps.
The features of my face do not align like the constellations of the night sky.
Instead they are nothing but a scattered array of thrown out antiques put on display for all to see.
Constantly I am fumbling over my own feet, causing tornadoes to rip apart my surroundings while I tumble to the ground.
But I am a dreamer, unlike her.
My mind can paint you a flawless image of happiness and laughter.
I can tell you stories off far off places that will captivate your mind entirely.
But most of all, when your demons leave you shaking and gasping for air at two a.m. you don't have to be afraid of waking me.
I too will be warding off my own.
I am the one who understands that the voices in your head can drive you absolutely crazy.
Their tongues are laced with venom and they pry at your golden brown skin searching for a way to invade your hollowed-out soul.
But don't worry darling for I will protect you.
Our demons could play together, if you'd allow it.
Maybe then the weight of the world would be lifted off of our burdened shoulders.
What do you say?
Your momma always told you that it never hurts to try.

We're on a roller coaster.
We climb so high but then crash so low.
Blinded at every curve, I grasp onto you for safety.
But then we come to a complete stop; we lunge forward in our seats but inertia pulls us right back to the beginning.
This vicious cycle that we're on, will it ever end?
I'm growing sick of being thrashed around, love.
I'm ready to get off this ride.

I am unaware of what my heart wants.
I was certain that I had put the fantasy of us to rest, but then I saw you and all your glory.
Your dogmatic charisma engulfed the room and I was captivated once again.
Tense with expectation, you shattered my frail composure
I thought I was over you, but I was only deceiving myself.

Need is a strong word.
We need oxygen.
The stars need the moon.
You need cuddles.

I remember the first time you told me that you stopped drinking.
My heart took flight and the idea of having a sober father became the root of my happiness.
You got drunk that night.

I remember the first time you let me down.
I stood alone among my peers because you had better things to do.
You got drunk that night.

I remember the first time I slit my porcelain skin open for you.
As blood trickled from my veins I begged you to come and rescue me from the demons in my mind.
You got drunk that night.

I remember the first time I tried to put an end to all the madness that engulfed my life.
I grabbed your gun from the safe and shot a bullet through my head.
I will never know if you got drunk that night.
You probably did.

Your words, they are not eloquent.
No, they do not posses the lustrous flow that I so often find myself falling for.
Instead your words come enigmatically skidding from your mouth.
The slang you use travels through the air and meets my ear as nothing but ostentatious calamity.
It is incomprehensible to me.
I cannot fathom why I am falling for a boy who's vocabulary is so minuscule to mine.  
Shall the answer go unbeknownst?
No, for the elucidate lies within me.
I just have to go in quest of it.