Orpheus loved Eurydice
More than he feared death
He strolled into the underworld
With his lyre's heartbroken tune
He could move the hearts of the gods
Up on Olympus, and down under the moon

For her, he would do anything
For her he could do anything
He moved the unmovable
Charmed the uncharmable

Eurydice was just out of reach
A final step into light
And she would be home
Her skin nearly kissed the sunlight

I always wondered
Why Orpheus looked back
Why take the risk, why not trust?
After going into Hades and back,
Why lose her to doubt?

But now I know why he did it
It wasn't a lack of faith, but fear
He was afraid
She would rather stay
Forever a shade

What if when he looked back
She didn't reach for his hand?
What if she was looking back
At the Elysian Fields
Longing to be back in paradise?

Orpheus never sang again of love
His lyre forgot the sounds of laughter
The tunes of joy, romance and smiles
The only melody his lyre could play
Was the manifestation of tears
That Orpheus could no longer shed

It's so sad having beautiful words written about someone
And not having the courage to show them
Those words just sit there
Patiently waiting

You wished on dandelions and ladybugs
For someone to come to you with love
It isn't my fault the Gods sent me,
That I was not up to your standards

You're no Sapphire stone
You who are made of rust and ruin
I didn't ask for you either
Someone of Peridot and Amber,
Would suit me far better

He's so insecure about being loved
He feels as if he isn't worth it
Through his eyes he's a peice of coal
He can't see the beautiful diamonds he shelters inside

Through my eyes he sparkles brighter than the sun
Because even underneath all the pressure thrown at him by his peers
He never gave up or changed for anyone
Instead he became something that they could never come close to

If only he could see the beauty inside of him
Perhaps he'd love himself as much as I love him

Do poets know
      that they're alive?
      not simply spectators
      set aside

Do writers know
      that they are heard?
      that they are more
      than written word

Do you ever feel
      that words you write today
      are all the things
      you cannot say?

He thinks that everything that blooms and flourishes is only born to wither before it perishes
Happiness to him is like a candle that's run out of wax and can no longer be lit
I try to lift him from his pain, but I carry him away in vain
Everytime I think I'm holding him high enough above his fears and insecurities
He's distanced himself and disappeared once more

He's a rose that's grown from sand
He only sees himself as a freak and an anomaly
People around him tell him he's a burden
That he is useless and insignificant
They take advantage of his kindness
He wants to disappear rather than be a disappointment

I feel like I'm always fighting to hold him above the river of Styx full of souls with their reaching arms desperate to drown him
If my love isn't enough to save him
I hope someone with stronger arms will come along and pull him from the current and onto land at last

Sometimes I smile thinking of him,
then those green thoughts creep inside my head
Who else has he enraptured the way that he has me?
It makes me feel hollow inside
It's a feeling filled with envy, filled with dread
Who else gets stuck inside his head?

You are the poetry I wish I could write
Every feeling I get around you
Every word of yours I absorb
Every stare I wish I could immortalize
You are the reason I love to write
You challenge me to describe how I feel
Even when none of these words feel just right
You are the poem I read over and over in my head

The one I wish was mine

In the silence I find comfort looking out the window at the beautiful sky above me, knowing that somewhere in this world it sees you in the ways that I can not
That when you step outside the sun embraces you and holds you in the warmth and gentleness that I long to
And when it rains you can hear, see and feel me for within every drop I am with you in these unknown ways
Because in these ways, through the distance between us we are connected
When I glide my hand along the sunbeams around me I feel the traces of you carried back to me

When the sun sets and darkness surrounds me I feel your heartbeat in the quiet
Under the moon you are reflected in the light, dancing off the beams of her mystical magic
And the dazzling sea of stars calm me in their endless cosmic stretch
For if the stars above can live so far from the people who adore and love them
Then the distance between us is nothing

And I feel comfort knowing you can feel me in these ways that I feel you
When I close my eyes, in this way the distance fades away
So when you step outside, feel me in the warmth of the sun
See and hear me in the pouring rain
Watch me dance in the moonlight
And forget the distance in the stars perpetual range

Jealousy consumes me like an old mythical beast
One that legends conceal from a story they forgot to pass down
I erupt into flames but the only thing that gets burnt is myself
As I crumble into another pile of ash at the foot of what I can never be
At the pedestal of something that I can never hold within my grasp

"Are you alright?"
He's the only one who asks me this
The only one who reads my feelings even when I do not
"I love you."
He tells us every night
No one else has done this right

"If you want to cry, you can cry
If you want to yell, then yell
I just want you to feel better."
Never has anyone said something like that to me
Something to make me feel understood rather than incomplete

"You are such a great person."
It seems he has these words inside some secret vault
Labeled "For when they are broken"
He keeps them stored and safe
For just in case those two girls break
He sends these words in times of need

I don't think he knows
That those words are just what we long to hear
When we think we can't be complete with all our fractures
He gives encouragement and makes us feel together
He's like the missing piece to a puzzle that you almost threw out
Something that you can't live without

Don't stare too closely at the sun
You'll get pulled in
And come undone

I wonder what your favorite song is
Which melody is the one that gets stuck in your head
The one louder than the rest?
Can it drown out all of the white noise
Does it really make you that happy?
I hope one day I can be like your favorite song

The one tune you can't erase

The anger
The saddness
The loneliness
The fear
The anxiety
The depression
The embarrassment
The regret
Its all temporary
But the story is permanent
Don't lose sight of who you are or who you want to be as you try to fight through these feelings

Isn't it messed up
The way I only feel like somebody
The only time I truly feel real
Is when I'm someone else
In a daydream that never ends

The concept of me, of now
Is so far and distant
It echos from somewhere deep inside me
Somewhere I can't find
Somewhere I don't look

How can I do or be what's expected of me
When that person doesn't exist
How can I be the perfect child
When the only freedom I've ever known
Is when I lock myself in my minds cage?

How can I comfort someone
When all I know are phantom hugs?
How do I feel success
When every accomplishment I've achieved
Has never been enough?

What future do I look to
When all my dreams are trampled on
By people who can't see what I do, but know better
Why is life only worth living
When I block it out with make-believe?

I've had 9 years to know you
It makes me envy cats,
I wish I had 9 lives to love you

they spent so many years treating me like an adult
that I never had the chance; the right
to be a child
I was told to grow up so quickly
that I never had the gift; the innocence
of being a kid

I'm so tired but all I want to do
Is write about someone I wish I knew

I wanted the world to see through my eyes
I desperately longed to share the beauty I'd seen
But how could I hope to ever capture such sights in writing?
The way love takes your breath away,
How could I share the feeling without cliche?
In what way could I hope alone to share the feeling of ecstasy that comes from redamancy?

I look into the eyes of those who hear my words
Do they feel it?
My heart, can they hear it?
Do they see love in all her glory?
And I see it, the glimmer of excitement
The anticipation and nerves,
How they squirm and giggle
And in that moment I know
My heart has reached them

If all the wrong doings and doers that have or will come to me
Were to hand over a key to their destruction before they leave
I'd melt it down to nothing so they never again feel that initial fear
I'd never allow such weakness to remain in these moments tied to pain
For from within every weakness either strength or evil is released
So as I melt away the demons fears, so too myself have I reprieved

I wonder how many people just met their soulmate right now
Because god knows I wish I was one of them

You're sweet like candy
I can only handle you in small doses
Too much will make me sick,
I don't like candy

I only have a sweet tooth if it's you

Will you still love me if I'm not pretty?
If all my teeth were broken and chipped
If acne covered every inch of my skin
And if my hair was always oily to the touch?

Will you still love me if I am no longer young?
When all my teeth have been replaced
When my skin is softly wrinkled like a well read book cover
And when my beautiful red hair is turned white with age?

Will you still love me if I am truly me?
All my insecurities and flaws I try to hide
All the fears and doubts within my heart
And all the dreams and ambitions I hold so dear?

Will you love me for me if I let you try?

Last night I dreamt I took you back
Yet even in my dreams your heart is black
Just as quickly you turned your back
Which is why picturing our future was faded black

She painted words that flew like Eros' golden arrows
Straight through the hearts of all they reached
Timeless ethereal words of feeling
That no other could capture in such brilliance
A tenth muse proclaimed by Plato
How could one write such words of passion and  romance
Without some blessing from the gods above?
Had Apollo himself whispered in her ear all the ways beauty could be described?
How a gentle touch can be painted in song?
How strong were the blessing of Aphrodite,
To burn such deep emotions into the heart of the poet

Love had guided Sappho through life and so it guided her out
Her heart leapt far across the sea
So far and yet for once
They could not reach the one she wanted
And as she fell from the seaside cliff
Her essence remained
Within the words she wrote
Within the notes the lyre played
Sappho remained, heart shining through
Perpetually enlightening the world
With her pulchritudinous words of love

She's a reflection of those who survived great pains
Shes what every person who's ever been hurt wishes they could have turned into
Turned their pain and bitterness into redemption and possibility as she did
Transformed their trauma and loss into kindness and dreams
But not everyone has a fairy godmother
Not everyone can hum and smile away the hurt as she does
But she smiles as if she didn't cry herself to sleep every night
As if she didn't wish upon every star to save her
As if she didn't beg her dreams to stay just a moment longer
As if her loneliness didn't drive her to madness as the mice and birds began to feel like family

But she gave them hope in ways no one else could
Hope that one day they can smile away every trace of a tormented past
Hope that one day poets will write sonnets in their name
Hope, it was her gift to the broken

Who cares about empty spaces and long silences
When you fill up everything?
You make me complete
Completely Full

You take up all the space
Between Lonely and Me
You fill the void
With Laughter and Life

I keep getting told I'm not worth it
If I have such an expensive price tag on me
Someone tell me how much I cost

I fear I've taken him for granted
Assuming I'd always have him there
Because never in my wildest dreams
Did I ever imagine someday I wouldn't

I think that rain is beautiful

In the rain people fall in love
People find sadness
People find hope
People get lost
And people find themselves

In the rain lovers share umbrellas
Writers find inspiration
Readers find mystery
Children make memories
And romanticists find destiny

Besides, without the rain
How could our beautiful flowers
possibly grow?

Yes, I think that rain is truly beautiful

In a distant meadow lies my mind
To get there, I cannot tell you how—
It is not a place that all can find
But if you're lucky and the path is kind
It will open up so that my thoughts you can unwind
And I can see it now

Fields of dandelions are where I hide
So come in spring to make a vow
For on the wind our wishes ride
Make a wish to say you tried
And only the weeds will know if you lied
Can't you see it now?

It does not matter if you mean well
I sometimes make mistakes in who I allow
Between poison and passion I cannot always tell
So you may come to stay but do not dwell
And of my secret garden do not tell
To those who would turn a paradise into hell
And I can see it now

Wildfires— the flames I cannot tame
Confusion, pain and anger that furrows my brow
Putting pesticides to primroses it's such a shame
My daffodils lament, they cry for who to blame
Does such sorrow, such grief have a name?
Can't you see it now?

When you turn my meadow into a burial mound
Where seedlings will not sprout— they can't remember how
You turn it into a place where no dream is found
Where no wishes or vows can be bound
And where loves whispers dare not sound
And I can't see it now

The anger festers, bubbles and boils within
The steam rises off my skin
And I feel explosive
Why is it
Men always get the last word?
They pressure,
They guilt,
They can be so persuasive—
But the moment you show any sign
Of rage
You are suddenly the problematic answer
To all the questions never asked

i loved you with all my wildfire heart
but our forest has burned to the ground
there's nothing left in the dust
nothing left in the ashes—
but look if you must

After a long day of working on my feet
I love him more than I need to eat
Though my eyes are heavy and body's worn
I love him more than I want to sleep
      
It's been so long since I heard him speak

Love is a strange place
Where you lose yourself wholly
To someone's promise

Love is like a cliff
Where you fall endlessly to
Find yourself again

Love is like a home
Where you place yourself inside
Of another's trust

Love is like a cage
For a bird who's song has been
Silenced in their hearts

Love is a strange place
Where you continue to fall
Into loves chasm

Sometimes I'm a pure and innocent shade of white
The shade remeniscent of cotton ball clouds on a sunny day
Sometimes I'm mixed with green, blue and black
I turn into a murky and distant gray; rain clouds
Then sometimes, I'm just pitch black
Void of every thing, a combustion of chaos
I'd rather be the colors that shine down falling through the cracks of a cloud
That shiny shade of yellow and gold that no amount of paint can perfect

That's what he feels like
Sunlight on skin
All the warmth and shimmer
He reminds me of the scent of sunshine
And everything bright and beautiful
That intangible color of sunlight through a cloud?
That's him
Ethereal

My biggest form of shame
Is how often I give up on today
How soon I dread tomorrow
I feel guilt in my weakness

The present is a gift I can't open

He said he thinks love is a joke
So I told him I love to make him laugh

One day I'll make his laughter echo off these walls

Use me
Play me
Break me
Tear me
Lose me

Im your toy
So I don't mind

Burn me
Drown me
Rip me
Throw me
Manipulate me

I'm just a toy
So I can't cry

Cradle me
Kiss me
Treasure me
Talk to me
Love me

You own me, I'll always obey
I am your toy
Just never give me away

Was it me who wasn’t enough,
Or was it you who had no passion?
Who do we place our blame onto,
Who is the one who killed our love?

Little bird, little bird
Always on my mind
Little bird, little bird
How could I make you mine?

You made a nest inside my heart
Where you could rest your head
and feel at home
But you spread your wings one day
and flew away
Soaring high, so gleefully free
And when you looked back for me-
I guess you flew too far away

Little bird, oh little bird
Won't you find your way back to me?
Little bird, little bird
Don't you hear me calling out your name?
Little bird, oh little bird
I guess it's time I let you go
You can't soar inside a cage
It will only bring you down

So fly high little bird, fly high
Chase those dreams only you can see
Spread those wings, I've set you free
Fly high little bird, little bird fly high
Fly high little bird, little bird fly high

I can't keep you in my heart
A caverns not fit for a lark
You can't keep singing in the dark
But I can see you in my dreams
and together we'll fly
Till then

Fly high little bird, fly high
Reach for those diamonds in the sky
Close your eyes and feel the light
Fly high little bird, little bird fly high
Fly high little bird, little bird fly high

May nothing bring you down again

When I meet you for the first time
I wonder if it will be an”Aha!” moment
“So this is what it feels like.”

I wonder if you will feel it too

He wrote me beautiful words
And my pen had stilled so long
Took me to all my favorite places
I was so swept off my feet and didn't see

What kind of poet is blind to their own poetry?

Finally I was the muse and not the poet
And I didn't even know it

She closes her eyes
As she closes her heart
To the possibility of love
She cowers

Every time she blinks
She tries to hide from the world of love
She lingers
With her eyelids closed

She fears that when they open
She will find someone worth staring
Little does she know that wont work
Her eyes aren’t meant to stay closed forever

It's so weird how speaking for a certain amount of time or to a certain amount of people is an accomplishment to me
Sometimes it feels like I have a limit to the amount of words I'm allowed to speak
As if I don't have the right to voice the endless thoughts flowing in my mind
I love to make people smile
To make others not feel alone
But I'm so quiet that I often make others uncomfortable
If I only gave myself back the right to speak
People would hate me for my noise
Instead I hate myself for my silence

To be selfless, to be loveless

They are similar
In that there is always less
Of something there once was

Less of self, less of love

I wanted to think of you more
So I thought of myself less

I wanted to love you more
So I loved myself less

You asked for more
So I wanted you less

How could I spell out love when it is absent of her name?
The way her eyes reflected a sunrise
She was like honey in the sky
I was bewitched

She was a masterpiece drawn with starlight
An ivory sculpture crafted by the hand of a god
I remember the time I was blessed by that smile
A vilified promise

I text you when I am down or afraid
I ask "What are you doing?" or "How are you?" to set my mind at ease
Because knowing you exist is soothing in itself

But you've stopped responding

The lifeline-
Cut and abandoned
I still ask how your days is
But you don't answer

Because you've stopped trying