I am wasted on the idea of affection.

Of it I drink daily.
I sip and I sip
until my swollen heart aches in its lonely abiss

Many wonder why I weep so often.
But you could never know the pain of a hangover with a soul as drunk as mine.

The more I love, the more I hurt. But the pain should fade, right?
The more I think about not hurting, the more i hurt, sometimes all night.
If love rules all, and my love's gone, do I rule nothing? do I not rule?
Every great ruler, had seemed to fall, so why would i want to rule anyhow?

Maybe I would feel useful, maybe feel some love, not that fake warm feeling preachers say comes from above.
Love me, as I do you, or don't, it won't matter
ill always remember how hard i wanted to forget how much my love meant nothing,
I'm hurt, but still, I love you even though I know your love for me will never grow.

That night changed my life,
That night I lost something precious,
That night I stole something valuable from my true love,
That night I lost a childhood friend,
That night I earned a new enemy,
That night my perspective changed,
That night I had to grow up,
That night I learned the power of my words,
That night I learned the power of lack of words,
That night I discovered how the world really is,
That night I became ready to leave the home
That night numerous rumors began,
That night I began my regret,
That night I began to understand,
That night can't be changed,
So why should I worry about it so much??

The water swayed slowly
As I walked by
Each step I took
Another glorious flashback

You kissed me against that wall
When nobody was coming

Sat with me there and cheered me up

You and I celebrated there
And there too

You threw rocks
And I joined in

We sat on that bench
And watched the sun rise

You took my play doh hearts
And made me promise
To never leave them for
Strangers again
Because we were each others
And every bit of my heart
It was and still is yours

You gave me yours once
And I still hold it up to
That picture of us

We kissed beneath there
And wished we had our own room

We dreamed there of our future
Our future together

That place was ours

I remember the first time
You told me you loved me
Was on our way there
And it broke down
Every wall
I spent building
And I told you I loved you too
With fear and hope in my heart

I remember so many things about us

And I remember so many things we did
Or we said when we were there

It was our sanctuary
Together there
We were free

I love that place more than I ever did

Not because it's beauty
Or its energy

But because we created something there.

don't act as you care
cause i know,
you ****** don't