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I didn't ask him. It's because I don't need him.
I don't need him to wipe my tears, I don't need his help
I don't need him to hug me, when I can hug myself
I don't need him to kiss me, nor miss me
I don't need his love, when I can love myself.
learning how to feel without being dependent
Intimacies
Lets come together and be at peace
Without obligation, a space to be free
No pressure. less effort. free flow speech.
Leaving behind societies chaos. keep our minds at ease
Lets detach from this world and enter our own
Commit to the moment yet nothing written in stone
Enjoy each others company. Karmic souls once again meet
Safe place like home, let be each other intimacies.

Lets build a life together we don’t have to run from
Yet we have to be realistic and know when it time to go back home
And even when we part ways, we know its okay
Because that’s another day, that we could enjoy each other’s space.
Departed. Yet We learn how to look forward to missing each other
Because even far away we learned how to energetically feel one another.......

And thats what make our connection last and go so deep
because another moment is not guaranteed, but yet and still you choose to come back to me

lets continue to express the passionate admiration for our unique like minds
Showing genuine appreciation for each others worthy time
More moments of passionate ***, magnetically combined
Giving and receiving our lust for one another, at the same **** time.
Feel free to be raw and open, and lets continue to voice our needs
Hold back on our egos and share our vulnerabilities  
Be there for one another as long as we agree
May we continue to sincerely… lloove I mean,  May we continually  be each others Intimacies
An unspoken connection between 2, no need for outside validations. No need for titles. Just 2 people choosing to be and enjoy
He’s saying,
As long as you stay, you can leave as you please

He’s saying,
As long as you return to me by sunrise, you can run free at midnight
Saying nothing When I come home by daylight, just as long as it seems we are together in public eyes.

Games we play are pure Deceptions.
I’m in home sweet prison, we are papered bind, chained by delusions and lies. Our love is like doing time and even though he senses the unhappiness on my mind, he says to me all the time “you will be alright”

"I do" was my crime. Our child is the paying fine. So I’m Akon "Locked up" until He closes his eyes. He hears when I sneak out, so even he sleeps with one eye open, towards my unfaithful behavior. He Pretends to be blind.

Im Trained to be home momentarily. Agreeing to be in his detentions temporarily.
For when he met me my love was untameable widly desired to be spirited and free

But he refuses my request to be free. He holds on tight and that’s even if it’s killing me.

So when he senses my  surpressive screams to finally leave. He will rush to leave out the set of keys. Within my arms reach. by my bar side intentionally. because he knows my desire to run yet in need of a safe home.  he holds  the keys.  Giving me a copy version to be free.

And If I don't return like we lawfully agreed, The punishment of manipulation will be black hole deep. He will catch me and emotionally blackmail me. Verbally put on the handcuffs, steal away my keys.
appoint me to the critical  judge, reminding me he’s the man who holds my Keys to leave.

Presenting my  past and mistakes to the courthouse packed with tyrants, which will be past me's. Deferment my character, rule me as guilty. Killing my spirit by Belittling my dreams. Crying that I attempted ******. attempting to **** him. for attempting to steal me.

He won. Victimized and trapped I return to my cell.
After verabally placing on the black and white strips and putting me through hell.

handcuffs on tight, game face on right,
He taunts me with tactics all day and night......

30 days of his controll, guilt trip complete.
He surprises me with kind  gesture and ask how bad do you want to be free?

He plays with sound of jingling keys, a melody that sounds good to me
Next to my Bar side, He finally placed down my set of keys
And reminds me,
That as long as you return here by sunrise, you are free to leave
A relationship that feels like prison
Its like holding empty glass to your mouth, hoping for something to spill out..... Why pretend?
Pretending the glass is full when its nothing there
Stimulate me, not down there but here.... in my heart ♥
Stimulate my mind, my body will follow and my heart will stay
AM I told what to think? Without gaining knowledge on how to think.
AM I taught how to feel? without understanding why I feel.
AM I raised in what to believe?  Not given the freedom in what I want to believe.
AM I told what to be?  Without allowing to simply be.
To know thy self is to gain understanding and knowledge of self. That is to individually and authentically  find who I am and what my purpose is .
How do I gain knowledge on what I retain in my mind including:    subconsciously and consciously
and how do I learn to understand my emotions, feelings and hear the purpose of my soul
physiological identity crisis in me is so surreal that I do not how to be real
In progress of Inner child work
My Fears: I don't fear Karma, I fear never living life. I fear missing out on learning lessons that I would need to experience in order to grow. I fear  being comfortable enough to settle. I fear never loving myself to fullest and not reaching my highest potential. I fear never knowing myself. I am learning "don't fear to disappoint others, fear to disappoint yourself" -I said that
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