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I send you a message while you sleep
So that when you wake up
You'll know I was thinking about you
And at the end of the text
I leave a single heart emoji
Not because I want to tell you
That I love you
But because for me they are a symbol
Of affection and warmth
Just something to remind you
That I care about you
i felt your warmness
i saw your face
i heard your voice
i said your name

these joyful moments
disappear and leave
no traces behind—
they were never real.
Your star freckled hands
reach inside me-
Pleasure making me forget even momentarily
That this, is not a love story.

Your hands do nothing to soothe the empty hunger left behind.
When my bedsheets are no longer warmed with your body.

Like an echo I can feel my heart beat against my rib cage.
A violent rally of
And it screams
And my fingers trace it into your skin when you are making my body your temporary home
(Alone . Alone . Alone it sings )

And I must never forget that
your hands can make me moan your name
Shout praises to a god I don't even believe in-
But your heart could not bear
to love me for anything more than my body

-to the girls who confuse *** with love
And to the boys who think an ****** is a job well done
I saw a picture of a girl.
and I thought
Hollowed out-
And caved in.
I couldn't help but wonder,
If her lovers hands traced her carved out collar bones.
If his mouth left bruises that marked her for days,
Like a trail along her chest as if to say her skin is mine.
Did he do it with love?
Did he ever wonder when the last time she thought to take up space.
Did he stop to think, that the melody he plays out as they make love-
Is her ribs giving the appearance of a piano.
Bones pressed against skin.
A symphony that plays out like an apology
"Never to thin" it sings.
I saw a picture of a girl and I thought,
Wasting away is an awful way to live.

- because we've always been told skinny is beautiful and we disappear and no one wonders where we go.
With skinned knees and cracked palms
I crawled toward you.
With my broken smile in my outstretched hand-
blood mixed with forgiveness.
I begged you to hurt me again.
Because the only way I knew how to feel,
was through the echo of my desperate pleas of "don't ever leave me“
I miss you every day
Even when I'm not
Thinking about it
It's always there
In the back of my mind
Waiting for April
To force its way
To the front
Waiting for the chance
To be the center
Of my attention
And I read sad things
Sing sad songs
Write sad things
Because I can't help myself
I need to feel sad
Because if I don't
I'm afraid I won't
Be able to feel at all
I thought I was broken, maybe I still am.
I thought I couldn't love at all, that all my life was ******.

I thought I'd be fine on my own, living the life I'd been dealt. Until suddenly your in my life and I've felt things I've never felt.

You grabbed my hand, you held my heart, you glued me back together and promised I'd never fall apart.

And now your mine our hands intertwined, and now I'm yours, our love out pours.

Into every word we speak and everything we do, because every hole in my life is now filled with you.
"Hey, is that your boyfriend?"


"Who are you texting, I bet it's your boyfriend."


"So, do you have a boyfriend?"


"Hey, take this guy's number. He's really hot, you should totally text him."

"No" I don't have boyfriend. Beacause I have a girlfriend. I love a girl, and yet I change all the she's to he's so no one will ever see the real me. I change my lock screen and delete my texts, so no one can see the love I profess for the girl that I love it's time I confess.....but I can't.

I can't tell anyone the way I feel, i should tell everyone because my lies they steal,

All of our happiness and the love we provide, all because I keep my love for you inside.

Fact: To some people I only need to find the right man.

Fact: No man, could ever love me the way that you can.

I'm locked in this world, feeling like a liar, while people surround me I watch their actions transpire.

You know it's funny, in my own family, it's okay for a girl to be a *****, because it's only the gays we really deplore.

I've loved one woman all my life, but compared to my sister who's reached double digets, I'm the one who'll always be blamed by the bigots.

Maybe one day, it'll will be different.
And our lives will feel anew.

For now, to all the girls who love girls,
It's okay to be you.
Dear you,
         I miss you.
The way your eyes looked identical to the stars in the sky,

The way your heart was so authentic it's nothing money can buy.

I miss you.

The way your kisses sent electricity through my veins,

The way you held me close and took me away from the pain.

I miss you.

the way that all your flaws made you even more pure,

the way you took care of me when i'm down like you always had the cure.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you so much it hurts.
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