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where were the living at
and how were they feeling?
what were they doing and
what were they thinking about
while I was spending those
dreadful days
in tiny rooms
alone,
at the foot of the bed,
with a bottle of whiskey
and my Converse shoes
tucked in the corner,
when the vines of nostalgia
were constricting my thoughts
and I was memorializing my childhood
like an ashtray,
putting out cigarette butts
on the bad memories
too often remembered?

I felt, as if, my purpose in life
was as important
as the mendacity
from the liars tongue.
misguided down a
directionless path,
left astray and forgotten about
like a drifter
playing the part of the rejected
and disassociated

shattering windows of opportunities by
burning through time and space and
jobs and women and ***** and drugs
and brain cells and miracles and
ideas and tenderness and
humanitarianism and morality
and conversations...
lots and lots of conversations,
wearing down my body, listlessly
like matchsticks to flame,

but auspiciously,
I found the lighter in writing,
sparking a new beginning and
regaining myself as I took the
wheel back from driving recklessly
through an impetuous
crash course of life

there’s no reason to tiptoe
around light sleepers and
walk on eggshells or
unbalanced tightropes
without the use of legs
in front of searing eyes
when it comes to writing,

writing is love being hustled
down the dead insides of
the dispassionate,

the unhappier the childhood
I’ve experienced
the funnier the comic book
I’ve illustrated

the more personal tragedy,
the better the writing

our minds at war
and writing is the peace

like watching
the robin and
the cardinal
fighting over
the worm,
as they slowly
pull it apart
Until my face eased back
from the form of a smile
due to a memory
of you.
I never would have believed
it could happen,
even if you told me.
 Apr 2018 Pure Bliss
J
Pain written across your beautiful face
Beautiful girl you are
Filled with pain from afar
Troubles fill your mind
Burning bridges from all around

Trust long gone
Nothing but dust
Lust in your eyes
For this beautiful new surprise  

Pain hidden behind the barbs  of your heart
Yet openly revealed
On the mind of your eyes
Capturing your internal soul
Bringing the pain to the surface

Beautiful girl you are
With a pained smile on your face
Isn't life just a series of unfortunate event?
Lying,cheating, killing
And so much more

I guess some people say:
"I don't need you at all"
But truth is everyone needs someone

A friend who cares
A mother who cures
A lover that loves

If your ever feeling lonely
Know I'll be there too
To Carry you by

But just remember that life
As good or hard as it may be
Is just a series of unfortunate events
i dont think you understand
there a demonic side to me
he lurks beneath the surface
just waiting to break free
i no longer trust myself
in making these decisions
these illusions call me out
shot me down with precision
and they're a perfect marksmen
shots only made by the best
and i'm hiding within myself
afraid of all the rest
tho this should make no sense
these shadows are my own
the perfect marksmen are false
images my mind has grown
yet here they stand
and somehow so real
seeing them spun me around
i dont know what to feel
i keep telling myself
everyone has this pain
but im faking this smile
and its really starting to wane
i force it till its back
thankful for all this
strength made from pain
hiding in the darkness
Friend wrote this , not really sure if I know him anymore..
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