I just want to ask you,
why did you choose him over me?
When everytime you need help,
you always call me, you always run to me, you always wanted to talk to me.
Who am I to you???
I am just someone who will fill in his gaps?

I gave up on you a long time ago,
I gave up on the idea of us,
but here you are sending me hellos,
aren't you living with the person whom you chose?
or you're having regrets with your choice?
or maybe you're just bored?
Let me move on....
I've already let you go.....

Everytime you send me a message,
my heart skips a beat,
my mouth is out of words
and I can't think.
I can't think how will I continue our conversation.
Eventhough I know that In your heart I have no position.

I'm a newbie at work,
Help I always seek.
Good thing my seat mate is a tenure,
Though a 'lil bit immature.

One day, one day, I was supposed to tell the truth,
The truth that I am a bisexual,
'coz we are talking 'bout gays
then she randomly said,
"If i'll get the chance i'll have them killed"
I kept quiet the whole shift.
Thought about -How I am supposed to stay in an environment like this?
That my seat mate is a homophobe and I do not know who else is.

My naked soul wanders by the hallway
I can hear gossips
and see stares
by strangers.

Can't compete with the society's standards
so, I am judged their villain minds.
Can't make their eyes full,
so I am often pushed to the wall,
and telling me that I am a failure.

They don't have to remind me,
for I know that I am.

Now, my nakedness drives me to do something,
something that will make them happy
my parents will, everyone will.

They will all come to this memorial,
pretending that they are longing for my existence
pretending that they are all suffering for my demise,
but I know, it is just a social mask.
A social mask that says they'll miss me
A social mask that says, they love me.

Every time that I am with you my heart seems to beat fast,
Every time that I am with you, I just can't get rid of this smile,
Oh, you really have those wonderful eyes.

Those eyes that sparkle.
Those big brown eyes,
That I can compare to a star that twinkles.

You also have a wonderful heart
that spreads a positive vibe.
It's like every time, yes
Every time that I am with you, my problems seems to go away.
If only I can tell you, "baby, please stay?"

Every time that I am with you, how I wish that the time wouldn't run fast,
I wish it would stop,
For,
I just want to tell you,
I just want to express;
this feeling on my chest,
It screams,
It says:
hey, " I like you".
hey, "I wanted to be with you".

The darkness of my room,
reflects the darkness of my soul,
tears keep falling
which I can't control.

the blades are my allies,
but it won't suffice.
I just want a quick way to end this,
I just to want to be in peace.
I wanted the feeling of ease.

............I just want
I just want this suffering.......to end.