i have to keep myself together
for everyone around
i can't let them see my tears
can't make a sad sound

i should be able to open up
but something inside me cringes at the thought
keeping me locked up
tying me up in a knot

i long to break free
of these bonds i have caged myself in
i misplaced the key
sewn shut in my own skin

i need to release this pressure
this sadness needs to escape
find air that is fresher
i can't keep fixing it with tape

i need to rip the bandaid off
**** this fake smile
i don't care how you scoff
i need to be real for a while

let me cry
let me sob
let me die
let me throb

let me break open
split apart at the seams
i feel like i'm choking
on my own unspoken screams
the moment before the crash
Can't get enough air
Puts a smile on anyway
Skin becomes more fair
With each breath taken away

Don't look too close
You'll see through the cracks
Sadness overdose
Hidden with a mask

Tears held in
Barely holding on
Can't let the demons win
Must survive another dawn

Can't breathe
Getting faint
Too much
Too much
Can't breathe

Can't breathe

Takes the knife
Slices the skin
Maybe now the air can get in

A real smile

Covered in blood

A last grin of relief

Maybe now I can breathe
I open my skin so I can breathe
I am a walnut
A hard outer shell

Keeping my secrets within

Few bother to ***** me
It takes too much effort
for such an unappetizing morsel

But those who do take the time
Find that once I am open
All of me has been spilled out to them

And I cannot uncrack

But he is a pumpkin
He opens for you

But you have to pull his secrets out of him
Bit by slimy bit
Until you have them laid out on a
and still you must sort through his insides
to find who he really is

And when you think you know
There is another secret
That he won't explain

He doesn't want you to know him
I have given myself to him, but he hides himself from me
i was being carried along
by these waves you call life

i was content,
without any strife

but those waves
turned into chaos

i am thrown to and fro
drowning and lost

hurricanes approach
i'm not ready

i can't fight this battle
can't keep myself steady

i am hurled across the tide
salt burning in every pore

i'm not strong enough
i can't do this anymore
an eternal storm
i am a movie soundtrack
in the background

i make you feel things that you never notice
that you'll never even realize

i will whittle myself into your heart
but you'll never know i'm there

i stay folded within the bonds
of your unconscious emotion

you won't remember me
you won't know my tune
or my rhythm

you'll barely know i was there

but my melodies
my undertones
the cadences
that i impressed upon your soul

will forever be in your heart

when i cease to exist in your memory
forget me, not the feeling of me

i don't need to be remembered, but you need to remember the time you found yourself in me
this music that rings in my ears
it is heard by only me

these cold, bitter tears
are shed by only me

these unorthodox, irrational fears
torment only me

separation on every side
no one in which i can confide
isolation is where i hide
following rules only i abide

loneliness is not good for the soul
i need someone to make me whole

but i've pushed them all away
in fear that none of them would stay
On the verge of everything
On the verge of crying
On the verge of breaking
On the verge of jumping
On the verge of pulling the trigger
On the verge of swallowing the pill
On the verge of drowning
On the verge of collapsing
On the verge of not breathing

Just a breeze will ******* over

And I'll fall off of the edge
almost falling
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