I wanna know what's going on inside that pretty little head of yours
Like the thoughts bouncing from ear to ear
As you smoke a joint rolled perfectly between your fingertips
Like the ticks and tocks of your innermost workings
The pain that plagues your day
And haunts your late late nights
I wanna feel the pain you feel
Feel the stress you feel
Feel the hurt you feel
I wanna carry your burdens with you
Wipe away those years of sorry
Make you cry tears of joy instead

They told me our love was toxic
Your words manipulative
And I believed them so easily
You see
I was so tired
So tired of trying to love you
But you wouldn't let me
You went out instead
Got high
Drunk
Out of sorts
Instead of loving me
So I gave up
Twice
The first time I was heartbroken
Shattered by my own hands
Yet you took me back
We made some rules
We'd spend one day of the week together
But it was the same age old problem
You just forgot
Didn't care enough
And you'd hang out with your friends instead
And I know why you never wanted to be at home
If you could call it that
A room in your friend's basement
Life was tough for you and I knew that
I understood that
But I was too self centered and needy to handle it
I tried and struggled
So again
I took the coward's way out
And to top it all off with a cherry and sprinkles
I went out with someone else
Just to make sure I made the right choice
Yet now I'm back to square one
One the first day he tried to kiss me again and again without asking
Tried to cop a feel in the movie theater
Refused to take me home until I kissed him
But thank God he didn't keep up that threat
So I went home and told him I didn't want to go on another date
I realized that
All I wanted was you
And I would rather suffer and be unhappy with you
Than be with someone who wanted to treat me like a princess
I just want you now
I've always wanted you
And it hurts so bad now that I don't have you anymore

She laid curled up on his bed with a blanket haphazardly covering her.  He had mindlessly thrown it in top of her, after she complained that it was cold, instead of taking the hint and moving to cuddle her. Instead of saying something bratty, she resolved to forget about it and shoved her face back into the feed of badly cropped stolen memes.

The room was otherwise filled with a comfortable silence, except for her occasional giggles, probably due to watching silly cat videos on Instagram as she always does, and his yelling at his friend Spider on Xbox. Or was it Lizard? It was some odd name of that sort.

While spending time together, there was never a need for them to constantly talk or look at one another, even though she couldn't help but steal glances at him from time to time. Even in their own two worlds, they were still able to find comfort merely in the other's presence.  

Her calf was closely nestled against his sweatpant-covered thigh, that being the only physical contact between them, at the time. Yet, he would periodically let go of his controller, reaching down with his right hand to squeeze her ankle. Before refocusing his attention back onto the screen, his thumb would stroke her skin.  A simple, reassuring touch to let her know he was still there and hadn't forgotten about her.

After a while, however, she grew dissatisfied with the brief touches he offered her, so she shifted closer to him, lifting her thigh over his. Content with this new position, she went back to her phone, resuming the YouTube video, an episode of a food series called "It's Alive!" She had recently discovered it and had already watched many, if not all, of the episodes currently posted.

All the while she was caught up in the countless spices and ingredients being thrown around, he had already caught onto her tactics.  Even though she didn't realize it herself, she was slowly positioning herself in a way where he would be forced to pay attention to her.  When she shifted onto him more the second time, he barely spared her a glance, with an amused expression on his face.

When the sun goes down
And the Moon is high
The padding of feet can be heard
Along we with a small scratch at my door
It would go unheard if I did not know to listen for it

In the dead of the night
A black, starless night
No other sounds are being made
Except for the croaking of frogs
Not yet the chirping of birds

He comes to my bedroom door
And expects to be let in
So I leave the warm embrace of my bed
And let him in so he can be a good friend

Tears streak down my face
Because of the sadness my body holds
I reach down and embrace him in my arms
His body warms mine with his soft fur and beating heart

Together we make our way back to the bed

Being suicidal is exhausting
Being perpetually exhausted makes me want to go to sleep and not wake up
It makes me not want to wake up in the morning
Because I'm just waking up to another nightmare
One that I can't escape
In sleep you're whisked away to another world
And eventually that world will fade away
Forgotten and discarded
But the one we live in doesn't
Being suicidal is an ugly cycle
That's almost impossible to escape
Sometimes there is a dim light that can lead you out of the darkness
But more often than not the darkness consumes you

Jealousy
The state or feeling of being jealous
Jealous
Feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages
Jealousy is a horrible feeling
Especially when you have no right to be jealous in the first place
When you break up, stop talking, whatever you want to call it
Any right you have to that person vanishes into thin air
Regret eventually will seep through your skin
Down into your bones
And God does it hurt
Jealousy will stop you dead in your tracks
Leaving you in a standstill
Without the ability to move on
Get over
Forget about
Everything
And it ******* *****
Seeing them with someone else
Who's prettier
Funnier
Smarter
Just plain better
It makes you want to crawl into the familiar embrace of your bed
And cry like you have so many times before
And sleep the ugly thoughts away
But there's no escaping them
They show up in your serene dreams
Transforming them into horrible, ugly, gut-wrenching nightmares
That make you scream so much your throat becomes raw
But in the morning you still get out of bed
Because that is what is expected and required of us
Because there's no place in the world for someone that can't even force themselves out of bed
Sadly it's not socially acceptable for you to sleep your life away
So you get up and face the world yet again
Just for those ugly thoughts to come back again
And again
And again
It ******* ***** man

It's amazing how
Just a year ago from now
I was best friends with a person
Talked non stop to a person
And now I can't even remember
their existence
No, it's not that I just forgot their name,
Or maybe even just what they
looked like
No, I forgot about their entire existence
Their name, their appearance, their
personality, their everything
On one hand, there might only be a
few people like this
But on the other hand, there could be
hundreds
Because my mind is not infinite
And when stretched thin
I start forgetting things that are
deemed unimportant or irrelevant
And it's a **** shame that turned
out to be you, and him, and her, and
who knows who else
It's a **** shame
I've forgotten all the funny jokes
that were told
Including those jokes you'd only
dare laugh at with your closest
friends
You know, those kind of jokes
It's a shame I forgot
The deep conversations we had at
3 in the morning when I couldn't
hold my eyes open but I also
couldn't stand the though of not
talking to you
I'm sad to say I've forgotten all the
meaningless conversations we had too
The kind where you just keep talking
about absolutely nothing just so
you can hear their voice
It's a shame I've forgotten all the
happy moments I've shared
with these faceless, nameless
people
Because those were the happiest
moments of my life
And I wouldn't trade the world for
them
But it's a shame all the bad times
were forgotten too
Yeah.  I know.
We all want to forget the bad moments
When we cried, got angry, and felt
bitter because of things we could
not have
Those moments are not the ones we
usually wish to hold on o
But nevertheless they are precious,
priceless, irreplaceable moments of
our lives
That only exist for us and the ones
we shared them with
But yet, that moment doesn't really
exist for them too?  Does it?
When all of these moments are
neglected, forgotten, looked over
They cease to exist
Lost forever in a black sea of
nothingness
There's no getting them back
There's no restore button
No history you can look through
where you can just click a link and
magically go back to where you
were
I know these moments can be
hideous, dreadful, appalling
moments
But like I said, I wouldn't trade
anything for them
Because of them I am where I am
today
And sure, that might not be a great
place right now
But it's better than where I could be
So trust me when I say it's a ****
shame that those moments and
those people are gone
Because at one point, they were
everything to me
And I mean everything
But now I can remember nothing