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I didn't know you
But I could have - If I had tried
But bully PSAs and anti-suicide campaigns
Just don't work on teenagers
Who are barely making it through the day

I didn't know you
But could I have made a difference
If I had talked to you just once
Or told you how beautiful you were?
Would you have finally looked into the mirror
And saw that you were worth something?

I didn't know you
And when I found out
That a student had killed herself
I didn't know it was you at first either

But then a screenshot appeared
A face on a story with three simple words
'Rest easy Tina'

I cant say
How long it took
For your heart to stop beating
But I can tell you
How fast
Mine beat through the roof
When I saw your face on my screen

You were smiling
I'd never seen you smile before
I wonder if you would have smiled
At me
If I had just talked to you more
In class

It doesn't seem real
Does it?
A girl seen just yesterday that you wont see tomorrow

She wont be coming back

Your seat will sit empty
The desk of a dead girl
That no one dares sit in
But gradually they will forget
Eventually it will be filled
And the student who sits there
And laughs and talks
With her friends in class
Will never know of the girl who went too soon

The student who fills your desk
More than likely
Will be just like me
She will look at the girl
In the corner of the room
And she will think of the conversations
That she could have
With the pretty girl that hides behind her hair

But she will never speak to her
Too afraid to try
With a childish fear of rejection
That pinpricks her heart
She will not think
Nor will she know
About the stakes that are at risk

I hope that the girl who fills your seat
Takes a look at the girl
Who never speaks
And does not pacify her worry
With, "I'm sure she has friends"

I hope she chooses instead
To give that girl a pillow to land on
When her mental stability takes a swan dive
Or a shoulder to lean on
When life is trying to tear her down

I hope that the next kid
Who sits on their own
Day after day
And who talks to no one
Has someone sit down across from them
And strike up a conversation

About the weather
About a class they're in together
About how they noticed they were alone
About how they would like to be friends
About anything

It doesn't take much
To save a person hanging on by a thread

A small act of kindness
Can mean the world
To a person who feels
That their existence is crumbling

I didn't know you
And I will Never
Be sorry
Enough
A little boy of ten watches Doctor Who religiously
because the Doctor has time travel
and oh what he would do
to turn back the clock
to when his sister was still alive

A little girl asks her mother
when Daddy is coming home
but Mommy doesn't know how to tell her
that the history teacher became a statistic
in a national tragedy that goes ignored

A teenager sobs in a corner
hands over her mouth
as she thinks, 'Dear god please, please no'
and the kid next to her texts their dad goodbye

A boy with dark eyes and darker clothes
wipes his eyes
because his phone just died
and the last thing he told his mom was 'I hate you'

The teachers lock their classrooms
and look around at their students
They wonder which ones they are going
to say goodbye to today

The children march
for the lives that have been lost
but the screams of the dead aren't loud enough
for those who can end their suffering

A kid makes a mockery
about shooting up the school
but even as they laugh
his friends wonder if he's really only joking

Everyone will say
that they are sorry for your loss
but they can't fix whats been done
and they won't stop it from happening again

We fake stomach aches
skip school
skip classes
beg our parents
because there was another one only yesterday
and 'What if we're next?'

"Mom, I love you."
"Daddy, I'm scared."
"Mr. Davis, is this a drill?"
"Will you hold my hand?"
"I don't want to die."

Kids tremble in fear
because this only happens at other schools
this only happens to other people
and they weren't supposed to join them
as another number on the death count

— The End —