I fall deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole that is love
It's a trick
Now I guess you could say I believe in magic
What is love?
Is it three words and some voices singing sad lyrics to cigarettes and bottomless coffee cups?
Is it an itch im never able to scratch?
My fingertips brush against the spot but... you see my arms weren't long enough
Not ten feet long and such
Is it not for girls with low self-esteem and kinks?
Just for those sappy happy go lucky lunatics who believe reality is not a war.
The earth they walk upon a fairytale and not a battle ground.
So am i the coocoo bird with a death wish or they?
Maybe it is everyone else who is crazy...
But! I am the girl who wanted to die when i was granted life!
So that must mean i am insane
Gifts given and tossed away!
Stop!
Please i beg do not give to me!
I don't want health or anything else
I just want to lie in the ocean i have cried
the waves hold me just below the Surface.
I never did deserve air... now did I?

This is what I wrote. I feel like this and the collab gave off two different vibes and i liked them both so it says the same thing but this one is just me. I wanted to show whoever takes the time to read my garbage.

A shift in mood... my mind chases it's self in circles
Little wolf trying to catch its tail
What am i but a toy
A puppet pulled by strings
A soldier with puppy dog eyes not marching Gracefully
A ******* catastrophe
A ****** ******* mess
A brilliant battle moved
Now look and See my scar
Im happy then im not
my Mind Can't take much More
Im elated but depressed
A hyena filled with stress
I want to be alive and burried with the dead
A deaf canon firing when i please
When i want to stand i end up on my knees
I laugh at serious times
Like when the doctor is counting my dimes
Best to pay in tens for my therapy at nine
Bipolar disorder
I need to get my life in order...

A shift in mood... My mind chases itself in circles
Little wolf trying to catch its tail
What am I?
A space wolf trapped in a human body
Leading the pack with love-filled-lust
Lost in-between humanity and inhumane
Just a proud humanitarian

A brilliant battle moved
Now you look and see my scar
I'm happy and I'm not

My brain is an insane asylum
Felt like these cells needed soft fabric
I'm elated but depressed
A hyena stressed

I want to be alive and buried with the dead

When I stand I end up on my knees
Bowing down
Dim the lights
Spiritual meditation & healing

Silent like *** of the deaf
I just felt the need to be disorderly-provoking
I was colder
Mind of a higher stoner

I laugh at serious times
Like when the doctor is counting my dimes
Best to pay in tens for my therapy at nine

Bipolar disorder
I need to get my life in order...

I don't feel something
this feeling i feel is nothing
But with nothingness comes hope
that the world will come to a stop
freeze with icy waters
stand quiet 
and unafraid 
a snow global to skate upon 
everything in motion 
motionless 
action against us 
let out the hold stills 
and stop to stares
Ill sit and stare in a room that isn't there
Because i...am...here
Unmoving untouched
If the world stops..... luck
My body is hollow
My fears hard to swallow

Goner

There is this man 
his name is mia
he throws dirt
he spits words that hurt

Im on my knees 
words get louder
these tears are hard to keep

Im a goner 
im a goner 

Ties tilted up towards the earth 
tops turn down to a sky full of flames 
trees swing with a silent so still
the stillness sends chills to children 

im a goner
im a goner 

tables flip within your mind
words throw knives 
dishes wash themselves 
clouds are made of cotton 

im a goner 
im a goner 

shoes shine with thick mud
thick blood stains my pale legs 
Put me on the phone 
my mouth shut i say hello 

im a goner 
im a goner 






im a goner...

skinny fingers... skinnier frame

She hides behind t shirts too big
ribs

cause she wants to be an extra small 
Health business 

food huddled in pockets waiting to be eaten 
napkins folded 

Hunger pangs are an addiction 
stuck

Hidden in her room where there is no food
binge and purge 



Fragile 

Tiny

Dainty 

Little 

Light 

BONES


Words­ describe why food has no home 
in the trash all alone 

because you can never be too small 
phones 

mother doesn't know and we wont give her that call

YOU...
PASS...
OUT....

Hungry makes my stomach talk
not enough energy to walk

my vision is blurred 
black around the curves 

My...
HEAD...
HURTS...

i will make it stop 





goodnight

I let this ink bleed from my veins... 
I mean something with every word that i say
you do not get the meaning
Thats okay
Its not for you but me
Letter therapy
Move your pencil
Print something deep
The birds peck until there's nothing more to keep....