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The verge of a depression
Feels like an economic recession
Its the ascension
Before the descension  
A slow mental digression
And my therapist says:
"While we're in session,
Do you have a confession?"
And I say, "No,
It can't be depression."


05/17/2023
Jatuh jatuh jatuh jatuh jatuh
Luka luka luka luka luka
Perih perih perih perih perih
Mati.
Habis kata
I wish, my time will freeze
When you're right here
Since I recognize,
Your love for me shall fade

I'm already prepared
For the moment I grieve
I've already practiced
For the moment you leave

I can't stay sane,
In an affair
Where I swear for your welfare
While turning myself into warfare

I don't want to care,

Once I drunk in despair
I'm aware about a nightmare

Can you tell me, even if it's a lie?
That you'll love me, till the day I die...
If I was looking for beauty
I wouldn't look in the mirror.
If I wanted to see a pretty perfect face
I'd look at some cousin's old dolls.

If I was looking for perfection,
A face unspoiled and clean
There would be a thousand places I could look
But I will never look at myself

If I'm looking in the mirror,
I'm looking at an injury
Or a stain,
Or a wound
I never see anything remotely beautiful in the mirror
Not unless someone's standing next to me
And it's funny,
People have called me beautiful before
Only for me to snort so loudly
For me to laugh in genuine confusion
And sarcastically agree.
I don't call myself modest
I'm simply asking for honesty
I've never cared about
What my face looks like
How ugly I am
or how pretty I'm not
Surely, there's something more important
To compliment someone with
All a face is
Is a way to recognise a friend
All a body is
Is how to describe the guests to expect

The only disadvantage to not caring
Is that I doubt I'd care
If something were truly wrong.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say.
 Apr 2018 KA Poetry
Jasleen kalra
And if you are to love,
Love as the moon loves.
It doesn't steal the night,
It only unveils the beauty of the dark.

And if you are to love,
Love as the rain loves.
It doesn't wet the bodies,
It only washes the sad dirt of the souls.

And if you are to love,
Love as the wind loves.
It doesn't drift away,
It only cleanse you to the core by invading through each pore.

And if you are to love,
Love as the sun loves.
It doesn't radiates heat,
It only pours its warmth on you to enlighten your way.

And if you are to love,
Love as the star loves.
It doesn't delightfully twinkles,
It only reminds you that not even death can separate two hearts.

And so forth,
if you are to love
Love as the whole universe
& not just a part of it.
 Apr 2018 KA Poetry
Kim
I'm trying to find the right metaphor for the storm
but I ended up mumbling your name.
I can hear your bones break like thunder.
I can hear your cries against my windowpane,
thousands of miles from where you are.

You never thought I would stop running but I did.
I still remember the day when you beg my heart to settle down.
I still remember our little dance in the terrace,
two young people in the night,
experiencing forever in twelve hours.

You were the reason why I feel sad over the sound
of singing cicadas and heartbeats.
You were the reason why I stop leaving things unfinished.

Last night, a friend called and told me how you're doing.
I wonder if your scars still hurt when it's six degrees outside.
I want to cover your shoulder with words and moonlight until it softens.
Until you stop putting your hand on your chest at 2AM to keep it from howling.

I don't remember what type of storm you are anymore,
But I still remember you when it rains.
mulberry tea and half a slice of orange. Our forever ended seven years ago but I still remember you when it rains.
 Apr 2018 KA Poetry
Jeff Gaines
Every day, I bring her a flower.
Sometimes, more than one.

And if she asked me, I'd surely bring her
every flower under the Sun.

Every day, she makes me smile
and I always try and do the same.

But it's not hard when it comes to me ...
I need only hear her name.

Every day, I rejoice
just knowing that she is mine.

And every day that this gets older,
it ages just like a wine.

Every day is better than the last.
Every night, impossible to describe.

She is like an addiction I relish in ...
from which I'll forever imbibe.

Every day, I stare at her
just as the sun comes through our window.

Like watching an Angel, asleep beside me,
the greatest joy that I'll ever know.

Every day, feels like a dream.
Sometimes ... I fear I'll wake up.

And if this dream were some potion ...
I'd never set down that cup.

Every day, I love to hold her ...
feeling her breathe while standing by my side.

To have her look up, while in my arms
like being swept away with a tide.

Every day ... the greatest day.
The greatest I've ever known.

Every day ... the greatest love.
The greatest I've ever been shown.
This poem, from DEEP in my archives, is probably older than you are.
 Apr 2018 KA Poetry
病気
Regret.
 Apr 2018 KA Poetry
病気
This is not a letter to myself,
Nor to someone I left.
This is for someone filled with regrets,
For those whose pain demanded to be felt;

It was the obscure evening,
The night when you found yourself— empty.
You lost trace of the light's being,
T'was the moment you chose to flee.

You gave everything you must give,
Gave them all their needs—
Yet there's nothing left for you, not a penny,
Not even a single bit of sympathy.

You were lost, tears were crystalized,
Pain made you lose your mind.
There, you made a decision,
You became your own rebellion.

You killed people, hurt 'em with your words,
But never regret, they did the worse.
Chose to choke you while you're breathless;
The people who made your darkness.

It wasn't your fault that you hurt people,
It was them, who killed your own person.
 Apr 2018 KA Poetry
Bee
hell is a place where
you constantly love those that
do not love you back.
 Apr 2018 KA Poetry
Dev
Hurt
 Apr 2018 KA Poetry
Dev
IT HURTS.

IT HURTS SO MUCH I CAN'T HANDLE IT.

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

I just wanted you

but I can't make you want me

if you don't want to
I think he just broke my heart without even knowing it.
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