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Charlotte Jul 2018
Some truths are told in anger,
Some truths are told in vain,
Sometimes there’s value in candor,
Sometimes truth just causes pain.

Some truths told aren’t told on purpose,
Some come out without consent,
Some when told do a great disservice,
No matter how honorable their intent.

Some truths are never told,
Away in drawers they’re kept,
Things gilded still shine like lustrous gold,
And dry are tears long wept.

I once had a truth I tried to speak,
But it was spoken by another prematurely,
I saw it happen, my voice was weak,
I handled it like a child and far too immaturely.

What was exposed could not be taken back,
It was a point of no return,
I was indignant, it all turned black,
I wanted the world to burn.

And burn it did,
But only mine,
Down hard I slid,
The real world was fine.

With time gone by, I must admit a lesson I learned,
The truth really does set you free,
But to whom my truth concerned,
I can only apologize, it should’ve come from me.
Charlotte Feb 2018
They say that there are other:
Fish in the sea,
Eggs in the carton,
Chips in the bag,
Flowers in the garden.

But he’s not a fish,
He’s not an egg,
He’s not a chip,
He’s not flower

He’s him, a person,
And me? I’m a coward.

I sit here alone,
I’ve given fear all my power.

I guess he’ll never know.
What an absolute ******.
Charlotte Jan 2018
As a Child I loved to play pretend;
It was my favorite game.
As I grew older, I was no different;
You could say it was the same.

I took the stage for the sound of laughter;
I took the stage for praise.
I seldom broke my character,
Even when backstage.

I tried to give them everything they wanted;
Always doing the most, going the extra mile.
I tried to give them everything they needed;
Always with a smile.

It was enough to see them happy;
To see the hurt just fade away.
Even if just for a moment;
It was enough to just make their day.

But then you walked into my life;
And the game I loved had changed.
Your smile was the only one that mattered,
The only one desired, the only one I craved.
The character I knew so well;
Seemed so old and overplayed.

I tried my best to keep my act up;
But my resolve was growing weak.
My thoughts of you would not subside;
Around you I could hardly speak.

But when I could, I was truly happy;
The hurt they never saw just faded away.
Even if I was with you just for a moment;
Your smile could make my day.  

I grew to care for you immensely;
I thought I hid it well.
I played it cool intently;
It got harder as I fell.

I looked so different around you;
My cheeks took on a rosy hue.
I took on a different role around you;
I was a fresh-faced ingénue.

Last year you sat beside me;
You asked if someone had my heart.
This moment called for honesty;
But I panicked, and well,
Some old habits just die hard.

I looked ahead, not looking you in the eye;
I did what I did best
I played pretend,
And I told the greatest lie.

Why I did this?
I don’t l know.
Maybe I loved the drama;
Drama always made for a better show.

I often think about that night;
And how I went from cool to cold.
My heart breaks and tears fall as I write;
I only have myself to scold.

I took a final bow that night;
I prematurely said “The End.”
I should have put up a tougher fight;
But I showed cowardice instead.

It's like I'm little girl again,
Now with a broken heart to mend;
Because when I think of you, what could have been,
I can only play pretend.
Charlotte Dec 2017
I sit there,
Fingers tapping the table,
I’m going nuts,
My condition unstable.

Should I do it? Should I not?
I feel panic,
Liquid courage I think!
I’ll just take a shot!

I’m a lightweight,
So that doesn’t help,
I’m self-sabotaging,
I do this to myself.

Is this wrong? Is this right?
I think,
I think I should do it,
You’re all I think about at night.

Wow that was creepy,
I take it back,
Only actually not really,
I totally meant that.

But if I do it, what will it mean?
My heart’s skipping like crazy,
I’ve had too much caffeine.

I go outside needing some air,
Even if I did do it,
What of it?
You may not even care.

God this is awful,
Embarrassing, and totally lame.
I decide to listen to music,
But all that I hear sung is your name.

Frankly, I don’t even know you,
Well I do, but not well enough.
Ugh, you’re not even that great.
What *******, I’ll call my own bluff.

I go back inside, pray the Ave Maria,
I wanna throw up.
Ah ****,
That shot was a bad idea.

***** this,
***** you,
Why can’t I handle this?
I’m pushing 22.

I feel so lonely in this,
I’m like a teenager, nobody gets me.
I hate sports,
But I have to give it to Gretzky,
I've gotta do it now,
For my own sanity's sake!
That ****** is right,
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

So I stand at the free throw line,
My typing is my dribble,
The “send” tab is my jump,
I lift my finger, and there it goes,
I’ve officially shot my shot.


                                       “Hi :)”
                                        Read at 5:41 p.m.
Charlotte Dec 2017
You sit there alone in the dark,
The you before him,
The you you are now,
The contrast is visibly stark.

You sit criss cross on your bed,
Lashes damp, eyes burning, and red,
It’s just after midnight,
You feel pathetic,
You replay it all in your head.

You start with the day that you met,
It was a Tuesday,
An ordinary day,
The kind you’d forget.

But then it all changed,
Smiles, handshakes,
And names were exchanged.

On the surface,
It was incredibly customary,
It was simple, unmemorable,
Painfully ordinary.

What made this different,
You weren’t sure,
Your feelings illogical,
So child-like, so juvenile,
So immature.
“You’re better than this.”
In the moment you thought.
In fact, you kept saying this,
As the days, weeks, and months went on.

“Get it together!”
You’d scream in the mirror.
Time had done nothing,
Your thoughts were no clearer.
You pace back and forth,
All sensibility in danger,
How could so much be felt,
So deeply, for a virtual stranger?

You felt ridiculous and crazy,
Your sanity lacking,
This next part gets hazy
All you remember are your fears, your panicking .

Was it coincidence, fate, or divine intervention?
Whatever it was,
Your next meeting came with no planning, no intention.
This one was longer,
There was more than a greeting.
You were a mess, a goner,
You could hear your heart beating.

But it was okay,
You kept your composure,
Better than you thought you would,
No liquid aid, totally sober.
This meeting made a friend out of the “virtual stranger,”
It was progress, a milestone,
But a detrimental, emotional game changer.

You hated yourself, you wanted more,
Your feelings grew stronger,
Angry, always present,
They refused to be ignored.

You drove yourself nuts,
You overthought,
But there was no one to blame,
No one at fault.

You were painfully afraid of rejection,
So you never made your move.
Every touch you thought was just platonic affection.
You fought your emotion like you had something to prove.

You had plenty of chances to get what you wanted,
But what you didn’t account for?
You weren’t the only one charmed,
You weren’t the only one haunted.

Now it’s too late,
To another, your charmer has made a promise
You were too busy being a little *****,
And just couldn’t bear to be honest.

So congrats, Heartbreaker!
You’ve earned the title!
Go on, do what you do best,
Fake a smile!

Go ahead, take a seat upon your throne!
It really is a pity though.
The only heart that appears to be broken is your own.
Charlotte Dec 2017
There once was a young woman, who gave too many *****
If you asked, she might’ve even given you two or three

From the ***** she’d given,
Some said she loved too much,
She cared too much,
Or was just simply too naïve,

She thought she knew what she was doing,
She knew the world was cruel,
She knew that there’d be losses,
She knew she often played the fool,
She thought there were no other options,
She did what she had to do,
So in spite of it all, everyday she’d go out and try her luck,
And if she got burned, “Well,” she’d say,
“That’s just the price I paid today for giving one too many *****.”

At night she’d stay up worried
For she was lost you see,
Her life she felt had passed her by,
Far too rapidly
She was young and scared of life
Always attempting to keep things to herself,
Keeping it all much too airy and much too light
She seldom got the things she wanted, scared to hurt the one’s she loved,
So often kept silent, never making a mess, still always giving one too many *****

Not too far away, lived an interesting young man
He was the opposite you see,
For not a single **** on any day gave he,

He was strange, he had no fears
He lived his life like he was running out of time
Like he was running low on living years

He seldom cared what people thought
Usually gaining what he sought
He took chances, he took risks
You raised him five, he raised you six

He was handsome, he was funny, he was smart
He’d always let you pick his brain,
Whatever it was, science, politics, art
But if it was his heart you were after, you’d get nothing,
Not half, not a quarter, not a single part



Some said he was too dark inside
Had too much anger
Or just too much pride

He thought he knew what he was doing
He knew the world was cruel
In stride he took his losses
Seldom did he play the fool
He thought he knew all his options, and with confidence he chose,
And if he got burned, “Well” he’d say,
“That’s was a hefty price I paid today, but you know what?
I just don’t give a ****.”

It was late in the year, just as he leaves were turning brown,
They were both running errands, in their busy college town,
She stopped for some coffee, he stopped for some tea,
She sat down, as he was looking for a seat

She saw him coming, as he was walking by,
That’s when the chair at the table beside her caught his eye,
So he too sat down, and began sipping his tea
What happened next came naturally, organically

He asked her for her name,
She smiled and then did the same
As they spoke, he could tell she was quiet,
And she could tell that he was awfully direct,
Despite this they spoke, for hours on end.
At least this is the story they would tell when people asked how they met.

As they spoke, she wasn’t sure,
She knew that somehow they’d crossed paths before.
As she blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear,
For him, a distant, hazy memory became clear.

They had matched on Tinder,
Sometime just as the fall breeze turned into the bitter chill of winter.
She was hoping to get cuffed for the season.
He was on there for much different,
Much less pure reason.
When asked if she was DTF,
She ghosted.
Both were left disappointed and bereft.

They never spoke again.

The end.
Charlotte Dec 2017
Bzzt​ ​Bzzt​ ​goes​ ​the​ ​silent​ ​vibrating​ ​ring​ ​of​ ​your​ ​phone
You​ ​get​ ​excited​ ​because​ ​you’re​ ​bored​ ​and​ ​all​ ​alone

Thump​ ​Thump​ ​goes​ ​your​ ​heart​ ​when​ ​you​ ​see​ ​who​ ​it​ ​is
You​ ​look​ ​at​ ​the​ ​name​ ​and​ ​see​ ​that​ ​it’s​ ​​his

You​ ​wait​ ​a​ ​beat​ ​to​ ​not​ ​seem​ ​too​ ​eager
But​ ​simply​ ​can’t​ ​wait​ ​and​ ​oops,​ ​there​ ​go​ ​your​ ​fingers

You​ ​wait​ ​a​ ​few​ ​minutes,​ ​pretend​ ​you​ ​don’t​ ​care
But​ ​there​ ​goes​ ​the​ ​bzzt ​again,​ ​you​ ​know​ ​something’s​ ​there!

Thump​ ​Thump​ ​goes​ ​your​ ​heart​ ​again​ ​as​ ​you​ ​look​ ​to​ ​see​ ​what​ ​was ​said

It​ ​was​ ​just​ ​your​ ​friend Ella,​ ​so ​you​ ​check​ ​your​ ​convo​ ​again
LOL​, ​SORRY​ ​*****,​ ​YOU​ ​GOT​ ​LEFT​ ​ON​ ​READ!
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