heaven on earth.
a strange phrase for such a dreadful place.
i always ask myself, "what makes earth so.. peaceful?"
I have yet to get answer.
sitting here, hearing the rain drip down buildings and houses.
Maybe I can count to a thousand reasons why.
maybe I'm just delusional.
heaven.
that word.
makes very many people happy.
but why not me?
am i afraid?
or am i just dull.
earth.
a planet we humans call home.
but are we really home?
questions like these keep me up at night.
heaven on earth.
why is it so cold?

Today's sunlight will forever be my eternal darkness

Hey it’s been a while…
“Read”
I know you hate me because you don’t love me anymore…
“Read”
But because of you the earth shines like a star.
“Read”
Areas in my life have changed ya know?
“Read”
Am I not enough..?
“Read”
Am I not the one you loved?
“Read”
I guess it was all just like breaking pencil lead…
“Read”
Okay.. I love you.
“Read”

I feel like ****
I
don't
know
why
Just can't get you out of my mind
stuck
inside
can't seem to replace the y
in
you
your
you're
you
you
you.
Just
You.

I love how you imagine us together
Oh how knifes are so pretty.

Sins are like questions.
Some are causes of fate.
Some are because of what you believe in
Sins are what I call peaches.
They slice softly through the heart into the shell.
They may protect your inner fate, but not for long.
Once that knife hits your inner shell, there's only a matter of time till it cracks.
This feeling you have..
Is it painful?
Dreadful?
unbearable?
See, i'm not a human yet I can see how much pain and suffering you go through.
I see why humans often try to forget and forgive
But in reality you can't cause it's all an illusion.
I can't really explain much more
Only to realize that..
I love you.
Even if it is just a dream.

I see blood on the walls.
Tears falling down like rain.
Everyday I think about you even when its part of pain.
3, 2, 1..
I hate you.
I never wanna see you.
You know what, I wish I never met you!
1, 2, 3..
I love you.
I miss you.
Can't wait to see you!
3, 2, 1..
It's happening again isn't it?
I wonder if he loves me?
Will he break my heart?
1, 2, 3
Oh god, not again..
I'm not good enough
I will never love again.

This society is much needed.
Faking our smiles, just to get by.
I'm gonna be honest I know nothing about you or anyone here.
I want you to know that this is a frighting flow that I call-
"Anxiety"
You see, it's not what you think but it's what you see.
Society is nothing but a pinch of death.
You walk the other way, you make another stray.
You walk the same way and now you get to stay.
"Anxiety"
Me, only 16 was walking the other way.
Society is what I cannot follow
I walk, walk, walk.
I hear them talk, talk, talk.
You, and I will never be the same.
"Anxiety"
Has it's name.
"Anxiety"
You cannot claim
"Anxiety"
Please let me be sane.

One at a time we lay on the grass.
Two lovers were sitting on a boat.
Three times the waves would hit.
Four we're looking.
Five of us sat there looking out of way.
Six, seven, eight they all became bait.

This element in life gives me passion.
This element gives me freedom.
This element gives me power.
This element gives me *******.
This element gives me hope.
This element gives me feeling.
This element gives me life.
This element is who I am.

Glad to have you here tonight
Holding me tight with a knife
stuck in my head filled with fright
You ever have that feeling that you're being watched?
Seeking around every corner waiting to be caught?
I hear those words come out of your mouth.
Slowly.
Softly.
Now your not there
wondering where you are
Looking up at the stars
hoping that you aren't that far
You say,
"I see you, why can't you see me?"
I wish I could have found you that day.
Maybe I wouldn't have been too late
Is it my fault that you had that fate?
Could I have changed it?
Everything is happening so fast..
I start to bleed
arms are getting weak.
Seeing you there makings me wanna stay in the heat
My eyes close as I eat
Only remembering red marks on the wall
all of a sudden..
I'm here to fall.
I wake up and you're still not there
Looking at myself and my hair
Realizing-
You we're never there.
Now,
I'm stuck in a bed
Knowing this isn't fair
Banging my head
until I see a needle an thread.
Now it's all in my head

Decent I say.
Passing time down the line
Making sure you're all mine
You have this scent that makes me wanna die inside
Your world is upside down
Jumping around
making sure you don't pound your head into this sound
It seems to be awkward but very tempted
Your smile is nothing but a fraile flower waiting to bloom
You catch my eye and burn my skin
It makes me want to end
That's why I say
Your more then a dime
more then all is fine
decent I say.
Just like time

Everyday before I wake up. I have dreams. Some are about you. some are about me. But most are about us. But everytime it seems to end before it becomes reality. I fear that this could be a warning sign. But like always, I ignore those signs because I believe in a thing called love. It's no ordinary word in a dictionary. It has a form of material to itself. Some will call it lust. Some will call it... well just love. The point is, we seek this material everyday. I have a bit of a promise I want to keep to you (and only you). That is if you can keep my heart in 2. On a sunny day. Bright skies, birds chirping. Me and you will forever be stuck in a dream.

The things we do.
The things we say.
We pick at each other while we play.
This sick twisted mind game that no knows.
Only the ones who have stories,
Belief in the skys.
Looks up, saying "I wanna ride! I wanna ride!"
But deep down inside,
there's no where left to hide.

Here lies a girl.
A wonderful girl who thinks she has no world.
She often wants to be committed to the impossible.
Knowing how she is, she seeks guidance from others.
Knowing the unknown, she still wonders.
She finds that not only, are people so cruel, They have no soul.
So they fool.
Her emotions are confused.
Realizing that nothing will change, she goes to where unique ones play the game.
Failing to seek the truth, she loses by a noose.
So, here lies me.
The wonderful girl, who's hanging from a tree.

Humans are something special.
They have features that no other could have.
Even if u did have the same features, u would still be different.
Not all things are different.
Yet, now humans want to be the same.
This isn't just a poem.
It's a lesson.
Let this teach u, that not all humans are special.
There are some who are worthless, a disappointment, and a waste of time.
Some people may tell u, “It's not the word special that defines u. It's the saying it's self”

It's funny how people go to the woods for answers.
Trying to find what's wrong with themselves.
The woods do nothing but make fire wood.
But that fire builds through pain and sorrow, like wildfires could.
The woods are a mystery.
They make you lurk, and seek more questions than answers.
Making your life much harder, when the fog comes in.
Leading you to difficult tasks, more likely to give up then to push.
So, what i'm saying is don't go through the woods.
You'll find yourself hurting, making your way through your mind that we call 'The woods'.