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Kayla Feb 8
I want to die
I remember the first time those words left my mouth
I want to die now
I don't want to die later
I want to slit my wrist and bleed
bleed a deep red showing I am human
and those words hurt that you speak
Maybe those words you spoke to me
I should carve into my legs and arms
For a reminder of what I am
A ****
A *****
A FAT COW
A *****
Maybe I should listen
Listen to those people
Who tell me to go **** myself
Slit my wrist and go bleed out
For I am not wanted
Not needed by anyone
Not loved
Not cared for
I'll carve those words into my legs tonight
Bleed a deep red
Leaving no inch of skin untouched
After that I shall slit my wrist
Like they have been telling me to do for years
I leave the water in my bath tub red
Closing my eyes
I am finally at peace
No people to listen to
Feb 8 · 285
Dark
Kayla Feb 8
I use to see him in a different light
Now I see him in a darker light
A light I can barely see myself in
I hate this light
Its too dark for me to like
Sep 2018 · 114
Night Terrors
Kayla Sep 2018
The night terrors have returned to haunt me
Not able to sleep alone in my own bed
The monsters in my dreams look like you
The look of being used and hurt by you
When I am asleep with my eyes still open
Scared that they might come alive
And eat my sleeping body
Sep 2018 · 228
Non-Existent
Kayla Sep 2018
Have you ever loved something so much it hurt
Well when I think about you
And your Non-Existent love for me
It hurts
Sep 2018 · 105
Addiction
Kayla Sep 2018
I think I have a problem
An addiction
To a substance
So deathly dangerous it could **** me
But my addiction
Oh how I love my addiction
It pulls at my skin with a mighty strength
Pulling me closer to my end
But honey my death would be bitter sweet
I am okay dying for something I love
Cause honey you are my addiction
And you are slowly drowning me
In my own tears
Torturing me with hurtful expressions and words
But honey I'm okay if you **** me
Sep 2018 · 78
Living Without You
Kayla Sep 2018
I'm living in a broken world
A broken world
Surviving without you
A painful destiny
A destiny granted to me
To live without you
Sep 2018 · 85
Piece
Kayla Sep 2018
I think I have finally found my missing piece
And
That missing piece was you
Jun 2018 · 174
Noticed Me
Kayla Jun 2018
He has finally noticed me
He has noticed my interest
He has noticed me
Now I must keep him noticing me
Jun 2018 · 172
I like you
Kayla Jun 2018
We talked
You were funny
Now I like you
Do you like me
I don't know
I wish you would tell me
If you do like me
Why don't you tell me
Jun 2018 · 118
Cycle
Kayla Jun 2018
I don’t know why
But every once in awhile
I get in this mood
In this mood all I want to do is
Die
I do not see a point in
Anything
All I want to do is
Give Up
I want to give up on
Everything
But then I find something that makes me
Happy
It is a cycle you see
A cycle I can never escape
Jun 2018 · 123
Heal
Kayla Jun 2018
She heals in a way that is not understood
She heals herself
By putting herself down
She heals herself by hating herself
The hate which makes her stronger
Hate that turns into love
She hates herself to heal herself
Jun 2018 · 267
He helped me get stronger
Kayla Jun 2018
She always thought that he noticed her
He saw her in a different light
Then anyone else had
She thought that he had love her the way no on has
He treated her like a princess
But that light had faded
That love had gone
The princess disappeared
But this made her stronger
Now she strives on her own
To live her life as her own
But
Jun 2018 · 149
Bullet
Kayla Jun 2018
I always told myself
I would take a bullet for you
And you would take a bullet for me
But now I know that if I ever had taken a bullet for you
You wouldn't have pushed me away and take the bulllet for me
Because you shot me
You shot me with your own bullet
Jun 2018 · 105
Ocean
Kayla Jun 2018
The ocean

Is so

Peaceful and calm

I wish

I was

Like the ocean
Jun 2018 · 334
I wish to succeed
Kayla Jun 2018
I wish to succeed in life
I wish to find love
To get married
To have kids
I wish to grow up to be a role model  
For my own kids
That when people say who do you look up to
They will say with the biggest smile my mother
I wish to be the woman my biological mother never was
The mother she never was
The wife she never could be
I wish to find a love that will warm my heart
Love that gives me the feeling
That I am needed  
I wish to succeed in life
Jun 2018 · 105
Why
Kayla Jun 2018
Why
I don't know why
Every time you walk past me
My stomach turns
Your smile makes me happy
Your eyes make me dream
Dream of looking into them
If only you would notice me
In a small English class we share
Jun 2018 · 235
In the eyes
Kayla Jun 2018
Look me in the eyes
Tell me you didn't
That you did not love
That you never loved me
Look me in the eyes
And give me the stone cold truth
Look me in the eyes
Jun 2018 · 107
Look
Kayla Jun 2018
She looked at him
He looked at her
The love in his eyes had faded
But her love had gotten stronger
He gave up on her
But she wont give up on him
And now she is getting smothered
Smothered by her own pain
Jun 2018 · 109
You
Kayla Jun 2018
You
People keep telling me to just give you up
People tell me you are not worth it
Not worth the tears
Not worth the pain
I have cried to people
I have never thought I would cry to
I cry over you
I never thought I would
But maybe I should give you up
But for now
I am just going to keep having fun
And drowning in my own pain
May 2018 · 393
She
Kayla May 2018
She
She
Closes her eyes at night
Thinking if it will ever get better
This life she was born into
She  
Always imagines  
What it would be like
If she was her
She  
Imagines what it would be like
If she lived in a different body
One that was not her own
She
Will grow up
Wishing she was different  
In a different body  
She  
Will not give up
Even though she will never be someone else
She will always be her
She
May 2018 · 162
Crave
Kayla May 2018
I wish I didn’t love you
I wish you weren’t around
But when you leave
I feel a craving for you
Stronger than anything
I have ever felt
May 2018 · 141
Rules
Kayla May 2018
I have made some new rules for myself
These rules are for me to get over you
Cause I don’t need you
NUMBER ONE
Stop crying kayla
That only makes it worst
I have cried for to long now.
NUMBER TWO
Delete all photos
You don’t need them anymore
They are just memories That don’t belong
NUMBER THREE
Give back sweaters
Burn all letters
Get rid of all stuffies
NUMBER THREE
The hardest of all rules
Break all ties
Cut all contact
If I follow these rules
I will succeed in my life
If I let you go
I will be happy again
If only I could
I could follow these rules
Then I would be able to let you go
May 2018 · 137
Beauty And The Beast
Kayla May 2018
I was the beauty
He was the beast
I loved him
He didn't love me
I wanted him
He wanted the Knife
I sipped my wine
As he stabbed me twice
I was the beauty
He was the beast
But he killed the beauty
With his only knife
May 2018 · 81
I .... ...
Kayla May 2018
I
Loved
You
But
Now
I
Hate
You
May 2018 · 232
Break
Kayla May 2018
I can feel my heart breaking
For you have smashed it to pieces
I love you still though
Being ****** as I am
I trusted you
Now I have lost
The only thing that really mattered to me
You
You
You
My everything has always been you
And it will always be you
May 2018 · 389
Pain
Kayla May 2018
I have this pain  
I have never felt before  
I don’t know why  
I only feel it when I think about you  
Your face and your smile  
Your eyes and your hands
I don’t know why it had to be
I try to stop thinking about you  
But I cant  
It’s like I have an image of you  
As the wallpaper of my brain
I still have your sweater  
From that dreadful night
The night I felt as if my heart  
My heart was going to jump out of my chest
But instead of it jumping out of my chest  
                                                                    I gave you my heart  
The first day  
That we began our short adventure
You pulled at the string  
You tore at its seams
When you returned it to me  
It was all broken and torn  
Maybe this is the reason  
My heart feels this way
I remember those dreadful words
They left your mouth and hit me as their target
I don’t love you anymore
That has enough power to knock the strongest of us down
Just like how you knocked me down
I still love you though
I will love you till my last days
I have never felt my heart in this much pain
Apr 2018 · 190
Imagination
Kayla Apr 2018
Imagine a world
A world of flowers
Flowers so bright
Imagine a world with no pain
A world of no hurt
Where everyone wears a smile
Imagine a world where everyone is friends
No one is the one left out
The **** duckling isn’t so ****
Just Imagine
That’s all it is though
Imagination
In the real world
The flowers are not all bright colors
There is no such thing as no hurt
Not everyone is friends
The **** duckling is still the **** duckling
Imagination is not real
Imagination is just make belief
Imagination is fake
Apr 2018 · 598
Experiences
Kayla Apr 2018
I'm
   Not
           A
              Poet
                    I'm
                           A                                                                    Experiences
                                Believer                                                  My
                                              Of                                      And
                                                  Writing                 Feel
                                                             About        I
                                                                      How
Apr 2018 · 258
Mistake
Kayla Apr 2018
I knew loving you  
             Was a mistake
                     But it was
                             A mistake
                                         I was
                                              Willing
                                                          To
                                                              Make
Apr 2018 · 349
Love Myself First
Kayla Apr 2018
I need to learn
How to love myself first
Before
I can love you
The love that you only have
When you try to stick you’re hands
Down my pants
I need to learn how to
Love myself first
Apr 2018 · 127
Monsters
Kayla Apr 2018
He always told her
That he would
Sweep her up
To rescue her
From the monsters
The monsters in her head
But when the monsters
They came out
He ran as fast as he could
To find someone else
Someone else to sweep up
That didn’t have the monsters
The ones that she had.
Apr 2018 · 96
Love Hate Relationship
Kayla Apr 2018
I love him
He loves me
I hate him
He hates me
Apr 2018 · 115
Only he knew
Kayla Apr 2018
He touched her ever so softly
The moans escaping
Through parted lips
Only he ever knew how
to touch her so right
Apr 2018 · 215
I miss you
Kayla Apr 2018
I miss you’re mouth and you’re hands
I miss you’re eyes and you’re smile
I miss everything about you
I miss our weird talks
To the way you’re hands touch me
I just miss you all in all
I miss you
And
I hope you miss me
Apr 2018 · 190
Another Victim
Kayla Apr 2018
He was so rough with me
It was unbearable
I cried instead of screamed
I bleed instead of cummed
I guess I was
Just another one
Of his **** victims
Apr 2018 · 80
Quite
Kayla Apr 2018
He told her
Not to tell a soul
So she sowed
Her mouth shut
With a
Needle
And a
Piece of string
Apr 2018 · 96
Melting
Kayla Apr 2018
He whispered
In her ear
Well she melted
In his hands
Apr 2018 · 77
Ocean
Kayla Apr 2018
The ocean
Is so
Peaceful and calm
I wish
I was
Like the ocean
Feb 2018 · 251
Her voice he hears
Kayla Feb 2018
He heard the whisper of her voice in my ear
She had left all so long ago
Taken by the guy who stolen her
He stole her life right out of her hands
With that gun he hid in his pants
She whispers to him about that dreadful night
Even though she is not there
He hears her voice every night.
Feb 2018 · 256
Jayson
Kayla Feb 2018
I find him perfect in many ways
What can I say though
He is perfect for me
My dream guy to be exact
No ones dream guy ever comes true
But mine did I must be the lucky one
For my dream guys name is Jayson
Feb 2018 · 142
Daddy
Kayla Feb 2018
I miss you dad
I didn’t get to say goodbye
Your gone and I’m still here
You left March 18, 2017
I found out February 2nd, 2018
Almost a year later
Why did no one tell me
I guess I wasn’t that important
Not to you now I see
You never loved me
But dad I will always love you
Feb 2018 · 182
Slit my wrist
Kayla Feb 2018
I want to die
I remember the first time those words left my mouth
I want to die now
I don’t want to die later
I want to slit my wrist and bleed
Bleed that deep deep red showing I am human
And those words you speak do hurt
Maybe those words you speak to me
I should carve into my legs
For a reminder of what I am
A ****
A *****
A fat cow
A *****
Maybe I should listen
Listen to those people
Who tell me to go **** myself
Slit my wrist and go bleed out
For I am not wanted
Not needed by anyone
Not loved
Not cared for
Ill carve those words in my legs tonight
Bleed a deep red
Leaving no inch of skin untouched
After that I will slit my wrist
Like they have been telling me to do for years
I leave the water in my bath tub red
Closing my eyes
I am finally at peace
No one to listen to
Feb 2018 · 160
Depth
Kayla Feb 2018
They all wanted her
Just to push her back down
Back down to the very depths
The very depths of death
Jan 2018 · 141
Wild Flower
Kayla Jan 2018
She was a wildflower and he was the gardener
Cutting beautiful flowers
Flowers worthy of a vase
Leaving her time and time again
Not picking her making her feel insecure
These patterns of her are not beautiful she think to herself
Time passed on and the gardener never picked her
She found it to be her fault
Like she was the **** duckling born to the wrong batch
But one day the Gardner approached her
He looked her in the petals and told her
“ For you are the most beautiful of all. I have saved you for this very day”
Jan 2018 · 118
Demons
Kayla Jan 2018
She has demons we all do
Demons that eat at our souls
So our death is sooner and our pain is worst
Eating us inside and out this is what our demons do
No one can save us from our demons
Not  even our loved ones
The demons eat the souls of our loved ones
Everyone has their own personal demons
We fight and we lose battles against our demons
Keep trying to fight because every demon has a weakness
With strength and power we may all be able to beat our demons
Just like how one day she will defeat her demons to
Kayla Jan 2018
Conceal don’t feel, Don’t let it show
Conceal those scars on your wrist
Don’t let them show for if they show
They will scare people away from you
They would run like you where the monster eating their Childrens souls
Conceal don’t feel, Don’t let it show
Jan 2018 · 220
Flame
Kayla Jan 2018
He was the flame that ignited her
That flame that grew bigger and bigger
Until one day the flame dulled
Until that flame of his was no longer lit
He got bored and tired
Have gotten what he wanted from her
She was still ignited blind to his dying flame
For she was the city and he was the tsunami that destroyed her
Dec 2017 · 364
The Demons In My Heart
Kayla Dec 2017
Love
L
O
V
E
Love the one thing that can keep me
Keep me sane from the demons in the night
Demons
D
E
M
O
N
S
The demons the tear
They tear and your skin and you heart
Breaking your heart to pieces
Heart
H
E
A
R
T
Your heart the one thing keeping you alive
Without you would rot like a corpse
A corpse of a bride murdered by the groom
Death
D
E
A
T
H
The demons in my heart have caused my death
I kept them alive so I would die with my friends
The demons in my heart are my friends.
These demons are soon to cause my death.
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