With a little bit of this,
A little bit of that.
Nothing never fits,
Falling dark and flat.
Yell towards the sky,
Empty trust, hollow lies.
Stay up all night,
Sigh till its alright.
Too sad to be quiet,
Still no one in sight.
Should've been delicate.
Ambiance now looks desolate.
Too numb to love,
Too conscious to hate.
Too guilty to confess,
This point in life I guess...
Would do anything for ecstasy.
My overthinking has been overflowing
Ocean of thoughts and I'm sinking
Trusts are on verge of extinction
Silence giving me its addiction
Shouldn't have been stuffing and hiding everything
Shouldn't have made promises with fear of getting burnt
Cause things are now burning deep down inside
But its getting deep in the AM and I'm too tired
And I'm still unaware of the purpose behind myself
So, should I be happy and proud of being different
And adjust my personality to stealth.
Or confront my exhaustion towards everyone
And just keep on waiting for the dawn.
I don't know what's been wrong with me.
This place here, not sure I'm supposed to be...
At this point, I guess... "I'm okay".
Mornings starts by waking up with cold sweat,
Unpause yet another song at 3 AM,
And somehow just survive the day valiantly
Too much to stress about & all I'd do is scream secretly
Hesitate to be myself, guess being open is being numb,
Unaware of my own feelings, that's something I've become.
Every 'HE' & 'SHE' know the tale to visualize,
But its scary to look into their judgmental eyes.
Yeah... they may just stare, may even appreciate,
But its probably hate... for the goodness its too late.
But hey... I'm just another teenager unaware of the evil future
With yet another bleeding fairytale,
Who acts all sobby and pale...
With his heartless heart for sale.
"Growing up" - to sail from the phase of being all heartily to the phase where you need to be heartless.
I've penciled my wounds over paper,
When people departed & left me an anaesthetic nature.
Had some ecstasy on the journey too,
No remorse there & that's something true.
Though I've been stuffing down all of my fumes,
May be that's what you do when all you have are echoing rooms.
Yeah I became sagacious enough on this path not taken,
Roved into a phase where memories get forsaken.
That's something you dream when you've been in rain,
And furnished others in a blissed frame.
This confounded world of such people...
Has an unexpected ecstasy in its own steeple.
It's actually kinda sad but being an introvert seems a better option in this generation.
Around the chaos I've been breathing,
Flowing through tears but never crying
I have a scream inside that can't speak
Gave everybody things I couldn't afford
Along the line of hate I've been searching smiles
Feeling so drowned I couldn't sink
Confused inside but improvised others
Someday someone would listen & relate
But it'll probably be too late...
Fed up of smiling so fake!
that smile...holding pain in it's wake,
Being addicted to.. hiding all my emotions..
chocked with all these suffocations..
I never noticed! when it became too hard to breath....
with my soul burning so deep.
Wish I could swallow back my words,
To make things right I guess.
But you're busy fulfilling your wish,
Turn my words & set them on flames...
Making things between us more insane.
Was buried under things I never mentioned,
So how could've I stayed...?
After you lit that match over my intentions.