I wish I had a type writer
Or scribe in my head
Something to document all the thinks
I thought
I mean all the thoughts I think
So I would never have to remember
A think that once was thought
So many things I wish I could say
With no way to organize them
I need filing cabinets for each thought
I ever think
With the click of a search button
I will visualize my thoughts and feelings
Checking over for spelling mistakes
Making sure everything is the way its suppose to be
I wish I had a type writer
Or scribe in my brain
To keep track of all the silly things
That I think I thought
So when Im old, lonesome, and
Half the soul I am today
I will have those documents
To keep me full

Driving by the same rolling hills
Everyday I wonder what’s on
The other side
Are there just more hills
Or is there something hiding
That’s how I feel about tomorrow’s
Their like rolling hills
You don’t see the end of
Until you get there

Writing someone a poem
Isn’t just telling them how you feel
Writing them a poem
Is giving them your feelings
To inspect and admire
To comprehend what’s going on
In your head when you look at them
Your not simly sharing
What’s on your mind
Your sharing the things
Your heart sees and
The things your brain is trying to process
Writing a poem for someone
Isn’t just a little thing
It’s a big thing
Because it’s taking the time
To decipher the messages your
Heart beat sends out
And put it into words
Sometime this isn’t always possible
Sometimes there are no words that
Describe your feelings
That is beautiful
Don’t get frustrated
Writing a poem for someone
Really special is hard
Your not only giving them the keys
To all the doors you keep
But your trusting they will value
What they find when they open
Your doors
So when I write you a poem
It’s not something from the bottom
Of my heart
It’s something that tingles
In my finger tips
Something that dances in my belly
And makes it hard to breathe
Poetry is not always accepted
But it’s always a beautiful language
That comes from the things that make you
Tick
The desire to confess the things within
That explain the things you do
Is a beauty that can never be stolen
From you

I’m tired of closing myself off to the world
I’m tired of saying bye before I’ve
Even said hi
I’m tired of shaking hands with people I’ll never make eye contact with again
So welcome in
If you like
I would like you to be apart of my life
It may not be an amusement park
But I’m a big clown for you to laugh at
When you need to laugh
It rains and it snows here
But not all the time
Welcome, this is my life
So predictable but I’ll always take you by surprise
I’m a contradiction within a contradiction
You don’t have to figure me out
I’m not a math problem
And my value does not need to be found
I’m not a poem
I don’t rhyme or fit right
Don’t use metaphors to describe me
Because a metaphor can’t explain me
So welcome to my life
Watch your step
And always be kind
My doors are open for a short amount of time
The only problem you will face is how to keep them open
When I’m ready for closing

I enjoy the rising sun
No matter what time it’s at
I enjoy the early morning noises
That make images in my head
Dance
I love the smooth glide of the boat
On the water
Watching the fish break the surface
All around you
The faint sound of your grandmother
Yelling breakfast!
Allowing you enough time
To hook up your pole
And slowly
Row row row yourself back to camp
Where scrambled eggs home fries
And English muffins await you
Once your meal has been enjoyed
You are left with endless options
To fill your day
Just don’t be caught sitting inside
Or playing on your cellular device
Because then you would be
Neglecting our way of camp life

Hey
I always think this when I sit
Next to you in class
But I never say anything other than
Thanks or no problem
Something you would say to a stranger
But your not a stranger
No one in this room is a stranger to me
But still I exchange no words
The girl behind me to the left
Used to play jump rope with me
Way back in elementary
Her new best friend was in my
Gymnastics class when
The coolest thing we learned to do
Was to walk across a balance beam
And not fall a skill us 6 year olds
Had down to a science
Despite our time spent together
We could never have a conversation
Together
I witnessed people growing up around me
When I already understood
When adults say you will wish you were
Younger
At 10 I already did
At 16 I know the different worlds
I have no experience in
But already understand their concepts
And I see where’d there’s meaning
Stitched between fabrics
But I will never know why these worlds
Function the way they do
Why is a humans best invention
The self destruct button
Why does it work so well
My answer
Because when all attempts at our goal
Fail we wish for not anyone to see
What our failure has made of us
So we make a fancy red button
Label it “warning, self destruct button.”
“Do not push”
Suddenly people are enchanted
By the dare
And seeing the destruction
Causes pleasure to their innmost
Desire for complete collapse
Because that looks like something
Has been accomplished

This is not easy for me to do
I never thought I could get this
Out of my head and on to the paper
These thoughts that are trapped
In my heart
Need to be set free
I don't know what kind of person I am
I was once told I have a beautiful aura
What does that mean?
I think Im and Extrovert
Though people call me an exceptional
Introvert
I think Im both
Sorry
Im good at getting side tracked
And delaying the release of my words
I am a girl
I am a girl playing in a boys soccer league
It scares me sometimes
Its what I love
With people who love it
Most of the time I don't feel like I belong
I feel like a stone amongst shells
Out of place
Looked over
Other times I feel important
I strive to be important to them
I could never express how sorry I am
For the nasty comments our team gets
When they see me step on the court or field
But I can show them that being what I am
Makes no difference
Other than giving me an obstacle to conquer
Every time anyone thinks
We will be their easy win
Because you have me on your team
I make you look weak
I apologize
I promise I will be strong
And prove every doubt wrong
Because despite my feelings
I know this is where I really belong