she understands my heart
she is forgiving
she is kind
she holds me when I don't know why I'm crying
she listens while I try my best to explain why I'm scared, or why I'm anxious, or why I'm sad, or why something means so much to me
and then she never forgets to say, "I'm always here, if you want to talk more"
she has the best taste in music
she got me in the habit of taking my medicine every day
she takes care of me, and pretty much everything else
she cleans the litter box when I'm in too much pain, even though she hates dealing with ****
she even deals with my crazy family

I love her because
she encouraged me to go to all the doctors when I was scared and in denial that I was getting sick
and now
she drives me to every appointment, she sits with me,
waits with me,
and then sometimes she speaks for me because she knows what it sounds like when articulation fails me, and my words get all caught up in my brain, confused on which order to come out

I love her because
she's my good feeling
she makes my stomach flip
she's my favorite smell
she kisses me with soft lips and care
she has little ears and freckles and the best **** smile you've ever seen

I love her because
when I was awful, she loved me
when I was lost in the darkest nights, she made my mind a better place

I love her because I used to spend weeks in storms of dark, listening to sad music and writing sad poetry

and now I write things like this
and listen to ridiculous happy fun music with her and we sing like fools
and she says "thanks for doing life with me"
and I have never been more at peace

The sky is covered with woolly clouds,
for days they hovered above;
So impatient for the sun to shine,
with its gleaming light of love.

Walking toward the river bank,
I pause to toss a stone;
Onto the rippling water's edge,
where gulls fly about and roam.

Cold and chilled I hang my head,
with sadness as company;
I want to run from all my fears,
and blossom whole and free.

But overcast the world remains,
despite my heartfelt prayers;
Now crying till the angels hear,
my wistful words of despair.

Yet when the new day breaks upon,
all the faithful waiting long;
Will bask in heaven's radiant glow,
and sing their own sweet song.

Oh!   How she glances

her eyes are like lances

so very piercing are they.

Then when she stares ,

oh Lord  i need prayers,

The devil I think she'd outweigh

Memories long since past are spilling out as if a flood was beginning.
I see each one, every single one.
I  had forgotten your old habits, tricks, and tips.
I had wanted to forget those beautiful, deadly things.
It only draws me in, like a warm blanket and a hot cup of chocolate.
It draws me in and makes me think.
Think about what old habits, tricks, and tips people associate with me.
I slowly fell asleep, for once thinking about myself.
Yet the next morning my thoughts were back to you,
a never endless routine.

One day I'm in the hospital choking a ****** addict and
the next day I'm burying a bus driver in a shallow grave.