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Peter Jan 2019
i'm catching my breath,
harder and harder each time.
polishing every idea till every single one is perfect
crushing ice cubes, i need some water
like a plant, i need to grow
i need constant growth
who am i
if there's no getting better
i don't wanna live
in the world without a goal
it's pointless then
let me rest
new ideas came
they need my attention right now
let this one sink
in its flesh
i won't cry after it
there will be plenty to come
more creative
let this one die
let chaos take over
Peter Jan 2019
i'm walking down the street
bare feet, without a care
**** uber, metro, I hate public transportation,
i'm dirtying up this sidewalk, for a few years already
i'm writing down a will, in my mind, close to my eyelids,
because i'm on the wrong side of my mind
i feel sick, tasting the bitterness of humanity
when I wipe mankind on the side of the pavement,
at the very deep, there's masculinity mixed with *****,
i'm walking down a bridge full of empty shells
i pass hordes of girls who are smiling insincerely
and again, i feel a boost in my veins
and again, i'm louder than mirrors
and as in the mirrors, voidness space,
and it is me, who takes the best from it
i absorb this poisoned air.
In the ears of mine, i can hear electro heat,
i feel like one man one Jean-Michel Jarre,
rain is pouring through me, sticks to me like fog,
i wrap myself in the warmth of two MDMA's,
someone glances surreptitiously and steals my soul,
you have a backpack full of cash, i have a suitcase full of emotions,
i'm going on a journey through the cursed city
like a hermaphrodite with a broken rod,
streets, like stigmas, cry with hollow screams,
in front of clubs content abortions on the sidewalk,
let's leave this lie, like the walking dead
assertiveness and pride to the gutter washed away.
And again, this booster is kindling my veins
i'm dirtier than a new jerusalem
and similar to it, i'm sticking to everything
and so I'm taking the most out of my heart
and I absorb this poisoned air once again.
and so the booster flows through the aorta
it is flooding my tarred heart,
destination reached.
and my wallet is shimmering with bitter crystal
nothing will change the course of this chemistry,
betrayed. betrayed by their own bodies
vidi, no vici, veni on its own,
and i'm catching a laugh, standing still in the subway
i am still absorbing poisoned air.
i've seen enough.
today, in my city, sun rises in the morning.
you will remember this day forever or forget it for eternity.
That is actually my favorite poem of all
Peter Jan 2019
I am looking at my cat
He is staring back at me
Is this love?
Or just a simple affection?
or maybe
   he just wants some food

  god I love my cat
Peter Jan 2019
Is here
To get you
But it’s not so
Simple to get you
Huh? Everyone thinks
Its so easy to get someone
But it is much harder than it
Seems really. Have you ever tried
To get someone, and it turned out to
Be the most difficult task you have ever
Created for yourself? I am sitting here in this
Empty room listening to music doing completely
Nothing and if so only pointless things like writing
Poem even tho i have never wrote a poem before. It
Just hit me to write one and im just letting my brain go and
Spit these words like guitar releases its cords. Right now the flow
Is pretty slow, because the music slowed down. Now we are searching
For the right words to use, and when the chorus comes, our brain gets hit
By some strange feeling that it can create whole universes in just a few seconds.
Chorus has ended again and my brain is a flop. Why is it a flop even tho nothing has
Really changed only sounds that i hear changed. Why my brain is connected to these
Sounds with such strength? Why can’t i escape these sounds, they are all the time with
Me. Help me. Help me find help. I need help. I know that i need help. I don’t know where
To seek help.

Why this poem looks so strange? i want
My poem to look different.
but this isn’t strange
it’s just different help me find help. i need help i need help please help me why is it so hard to be alive to be human to be a living thing i don’t wanna die but i don’t wanna live is it a curse or a gift life is not precious life is terrible only from time to time is worth living but still look at the cancers of the world all the terrorism all the sick people all the cataclisms   i hate life i hate world i hate living

why can noone help me please
oh well music changed looks like i am happy again but only for few minutes.
Peter Jan 2019
Everything can look
      like a poem
  The only thing
       you need
  is to put enough
   ******* spacebars
  to make it look

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