Katie

Katie Nov 2020

When
Relaying
Into
Tries, crying
Into
Nights, just
Give up

#writing #acrostic

Katie Nov 2020

I had a dream.
There was a dachshund
sitting in front of me,
not just a dachshund
but also my family.
Looking, laughing, celebrating
me.
That's never happened before,
you see.

I had a dream.
There was a man,
no, two. Maybe three,
they kept lizardly eyeing me.
I knew they wanted to hurt
me,
but not hurt

me
That has happened before,
you see.

I had a...

Dream?
There was a dachshund
sitting in front of me,
yet eagerly running away
from my family.
Running towards the men,
not two, but three,
running to show me,
these men,
they came for me,
yet the dachshund stays.
That protection has never happened before,
you see.

I had a dream.
The pale-scaled men,
racing for the dachshund at my speed.
Trembling hands,
my family still celebrates,
but the main event's running away,
I leap,
jump
fall
to save the dachshund
as the gun crawls
out of their hand,
bullet seeping away from the barrel.
I wish this had happened,
you see.
As the men disappeared,
dachshund in tow,
the silver hit me.

I felt it all rush through my
fingers,
from that preppy piano recital,
to my non-existent prom suit.
dogs now silenced
to pens finally capped.
Muted I-do's
to the stage lights finally dimmed.
and I could call this ocean
that swept through my
fingers,
nothing but relief.

Yet waking up,
I can find no better words for it
than a dream.

sounds random until the words actually mean something

#sad #dream #depression #anxiety #suicide

Katie Nov 2020

She Never Knew

When she was blinded by the dark,
she never knew what
she was capable of
or what she could ever accomplish.
When she was blinded by the light,
she was ashamed of what
she could never do
and who she would never be.

When she was submerged
in the emptiness of silence,
she was alone within herself,
never knowing if anyone would find her
tucked in the corner of her mind.
When she was submerged
in the absence of silence,
she was alone within the world around her,
never knowing if the people that came
could ever rescue her.

When her voice was taken away,
all she could do was scream for help.
When she held onto her voice,
she could never get the word “help”
to reach out and touch the person next to her.

She longed to let go
when she was stripped of a method,
while when all the resources
were laid out in front of her,
she could never let go herself.

We're always blinded by what's right in front of us

#sad #depression #anxiety

Katie Nov 2020

Love is a Disease

Love is a disease,
you've seen the signs.
Sweaty palms,
Shaky hands,
your heart skipping
just about every beat,
With this frost
stuck in your head,
making it hard
to stand on your feet.

When you beg for your pen
to draw a scene
of the waves set aflame,
all that comes back to you
is the apple of your eye,
all you hear is her name.

Deny as you might,
you can't help but to twirl and swoon,
The only thing guiding your nights
are her and the moon.

Yes,
love is a disease,
and I'd love to stay
sick in bed
with you.

Ever notice how when you're in love, that's the only thing you write about?

#love

Katie Nov 2020

Dark Enough to Listen

La la la la...
Can you hear me?
Test
1
2
3
The mic's in my hand,
but you dream the curtains are drawn.
HOW LOUD
DO I HAVE TO BREATHE?

This isn't just
a school assembly,
I'm not as prestigious
as a prodigy,
but I have a voice.
Yes,
that thing that comes out of you.
Well, guess what?
it's in me.

Didn't believe it could happen?
You only start to hear my voice
when it makes you
seethe.
Yes, that's what I said.
Still Don't believe me?

Sound booth, dim the lights, please.
Yes, thank you, that's fine.
No, no, not all the way out...
there we go.
Still light enough to see me,
yet dark enough to listen to me.
No, not
hear
me, but
listen
to me.

Nov 2020

Felicia Coffey

Let's Get One Thing Straight, I'm Not.

You’re straight because you mistook your discomfort around men as attraction.
You’re straight because the one man who should have loved you, didn’t.
You’re straight because the media makes love look like a man and a woman.
You’re straight because of the look of disgust on your mother’s face when she asked you if you were “experimenting” with your best friend and the tone with which she said “good” when you answered “no,” the first lie you’ve spoken to her.
You’re straight because your grandfather calls lesbians “carpet m%nchers” and gay men “c%cksuckers”.
You’re straight because your great grandmother would rather you end up with a man of color than another woman, and she’s terribly racist.
You’re straight because the love you were denied by your father has to be fulfilled by some other man, like it’s his fault your father couldn’t find love in his heart for his own children.
You’re straight because everyone asks if you if you have a boyfriend.
You’re straight because every man who was ever nice to you, you seemed to fall a little bit in love with.
You’re straight because your aunt and uncle started a facebook argument with you over the bible’s interpretation of homosexuals, and you just couldn’t let that go.
You’re straight because you think brunette women are beautiful, but you don’t feel more beautiful after you turn your blonde hair brown.
You’re straight because you think the feelings of attraction you’ve ever gotten towards a woman were just normal because you’ve never had crushes on them.
You’re straight because you’ve never had a boyfriend, even when there were men interested.

Think of the lie you would have lived
if you didn’t recognize the truth in all those lies
you thought were genuine feelings.

#gay #lesbian #lgbt #pride

Katie Nov 2020

Do Not Open Your Mouth

Open your mouth
to find
anything but words
come out.
It stings just the same
as any insult would,
yet see
there is a shape
to these anomalies,
sliming out of your mouth.
Please, for the sake of yourself,
leave the questioning
to the words
that no longer take place
in that mouth.