I see you.
The real you.
Not the girl who has succumbed.
But the girl who is trying to change what she has become.
I see past the scars and fake smiles and nervous laughter.
And see longing for the life you sought after.
The life outside the broken past.
The life of happiness that will forever last.
You tried to fill it time after time,
But instead bury with choices laced with grime.
You hope the path you walk now will lead you to it.
Though sadly its not true
Not one bit.
The path you walk will bury you more,
So much so your wings will never let you soar.
Trapped in a cage, that you claim to enjoy,
But to be honest love, it feels like its all a ploy.
Not to live, but to simply survive.
And you and i both know, that is no way to thrive.
I can see you.
The real you
The only question now is
Do you?

On the outside she slays
To people she's a party animal
People love the way she smiles
She takes entertainment to a whole new level
She always smiles
On the outside she looks happy
People clap for her now and again
She gets compliments on how she balances her life
On the inside she is lonely
She is hollow
She needs someone to heal her
On the inside she has a hurricane
One that comes when she is alone
Her pillow has turned into a dam of tears
On the inside she needs someone
On the outside she looks sociable
On the inside she is insecure and barely trusts
She looks like she has a lot of friends
But when the day ends
Her teddy and her pillow are her only friends

She is beautiful being,
She’s hiding in this loving dark
She sings plays piano, smiling .
And she lets winds inside her house.

Black lace skirt that reaches floor.
Grass eyes, grey hair and “the red Moscow”.
A heart of gold, a mind of ice.
A crimson sweater over that all.

Black kitty’s wandering the place.
There are dead flowers in a vase.
You think she is in pain, well it’s the case.
She’s weaving wreaths now with a sad face.

Your chakra,  you're spine tied together in knots
It brings out the dread in my own  morbid thoughts
Whether it be far below or way above
Its only failing is it's not made with love
It's electric and emits light and there is a connection
But it will never have the right affection
It hurts like hell and takes from the soul
It's torn and broken and sits in a hole
Your mind is hurt your eyes are cracked
I'm covered in soil and my hands are all black

I ponder
If you knew how much you meant;
I wonder
If you know how many tears I spent;

I know
It's a dumb thing, so feeble;
A stow,
Of feelings so much but none evil;

It's hard,
Trying to make sense of a love so brittle;
It's awkward,
We talked so much yet so little;

Wait, I forgot,
I'm the only one who knows it;
That's why it's all for naught,
Because you will never feel it;

Love,
Love that shouldn't be here;
Love,
Love that I fear;

Love,
Love that I just keep in store;
Love,
Love that could never be more.

If you see these words,
You'll just flow astray;
If you see my words,
*I know you'll go away.

Something's gone
Ripped out of me sleeping
Someone put me out
And the smoke is filling my lungs

I'm laying on this roof
Tattered from the storms
Beaten down upon by tree limbs
This roof reminds me of me
It's not everyday you get this feeling
But with open scars
Bleeding into the skies
The stars look more precious
Like blood diamonds
Wonder how many stars
Hold the blood of the lost
I love the silence tonight
The cool, soft breeze
Carrying the scent of more rain
I can't belive the moon is gone
I wonder where she went
Probably laying in the arms of another
Where she truly belongs
I'm just reaching into ****** skies
Hoping my open wrist arm
Can carry my hand high enough
To move the clouds
So I may glance upon her face
I'm tired of being a menace
Striking fear in the eyes of loved ones
Bringing pain into their arms
Burdening their shoulders with my sorrow
Maybe if I joined with the ****** skies
I'd rain my blood on the earth
Let them taste the pain they brough
Maybe your god will finally show mercy
To those just like me
I don't know
I really don't care
Finding out is worth a risk
A risk with only my benefit

I wrote about you
Memorializing you in every line
350+ poems and it still isn't enough?
This is a bad love affair
Between me and you
Nothing seems right
You've grown distant
Bipolar in every way
I loved you
I hated you
I cried because of you
I would have died for you
So this bad love affair
Between me and my emotions
Has to end...now