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Phoenix-Rising Apr 2020
so i’m sitting on the floor
huddled into myself
and i’m trying to cry
because i know
it’ll make me feel better

but i can’t cry right now
so instead i just feel empty

and i feel like a monster
because
who can be so sad
all of the time
yet still not cry
Phoenix-Rising Apr 2020
The best thing about life
is living
                         The worst thing about life
                         is living
Phoenix-Rising Apr 2020
It’s currently 5:30am,
And I’m sad again

I’m doing my homework
And wishing it made sense
Because right now
I just can’t seem to focus

My mind is bending
Every which way
Being pushed around
By a million thoughts
That mean both nothing
And everything

The worst part is
The thoughts
Are feeding each other
They’re growing
Too strong to ignore
Phoenix-Rising Apr 2020
I am telling you things
I would never dare
tell my own family

I would worry
that they would worry
about me

But I need to share
my feelings
I need to write

So I write to you
I trust you
to keep my secrets
Phoenix-Rising Apr 2020
we all have issues
especially you and i
but mostly me

i have trust issues
and body issues
and love issues

and a multitude more
but you choose
to love me anyway

and i hope only
to be able
to return the favor
thank you
for alway being there
remember i’m always here too
i love you
Phoenix-Rising Apr 2020
I get that you’re angry
I can see it in your face
But not everyone knows you
Like I know you, so for once
Speak up

Speak up for yourself
Because no one else will do it for you
What happens when I am no longer here
No longer telling them
What you want me to tell them

What happens when a nod
Or a shake of your head
Isn’t interpreted the way
You mean for it to be
Just please, speak up
Phoenix-Rising Apr 2020
Yesterday I sat down
In the shower
And cut my leg
On my razor

What hurt more
Was when I showed my parents
I had to clarify
That it was an accident
I know
I broke their trust,
But it hurts
That they’re always worried
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