this twilight resembles a photo color sepia
distant
timeless
poetic
and so painful
because of your absence

they are never coming back
let them go
it’s time
this road does not lead to happiness
deep breaths
i know it hurts
but we are strong
and we can open our hearts to forgiveness
don’t disappear
i see you
your still here
trying to hide
but that cannot keep you safe, dear one
nothing of this world can keep heartbreak
from knocking on your door.

Esther L. Krenzin

There’s nothing better for these lonely nights
Than smoking a cigarette on the front porch.
I used to say that I’d never smoke,
But that was before everything happened.

That was before my heart was shattered by two lovers within the span of 6 months.
That was before I lost my aunt so unexpectedly and violently.
That was before I watched my brother brush with death
On the floor of this very porch.
That was before I held my 16 year old dog in my arms as she died in my front yard.
That was before a global pandemic turned everyone’s worlds and plans upside down.

I sit here and as I take a drag of this cigarette I can’t help but relate.
With each pull I’m getting closer and closer to being nothing.
When things are good, it’s like the nicotine buzz you get after not smoking all day.
But in between the buzzes, I’m reminded of the emptiness that somehow coexists with the heaviness in my heart.

I used to say I’d never smoke, but things change.
People change.
I’ve changed.
I’m still figuring out if it’s for the better.

m.h.

I cried to the Angel of Death,
"Please do not take me,
Give me a second chance."
"Sorry,I can't,"said Death,
Your taxed sins are long overdue,
You're charged with money laundering-taking forcefully money from the weak,
Bribery,
Tax evasion,
Tax fraud,
All in the name of religion.
4/8/2020