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2.8k · Jul 2020
Nectar
Catherine Bailey Jul 2020
Your nectar trickled down
It’s flavour was renown
The sweet tasting caramel
Slowly chipped at my will

It’s damped my mouth
And pretend I had drought
It spilled its honey substance
And did my longing, justice

It painted my tongue
And between my gums
Lastly it started to float
Down my aching throat

It crawled down my pipe
And made the tube ripe
But it’s objective was my heart
As it would slowly rip me apart

So before it could continue
I started to swallow it whole
Making sure your loving covet
Stayed at the bottom of my stomach
334 · Mar 2020
Torture
Catherine Bailey Mar 2020
Torture
(ˈtôrCHər)

Torture, the infliction of severe physical or mental pain
or suffering for a purpose, such as
coercing a confession, or inflicting punishment.

Torture
(ˈtôrCHər)

Making me pay everyday,
By loving someone else that treats you well
For hurting you and breaking you
The way I did
280 · Apr 2020
Thinking
Catherine Bailey Apr 2020
Not constantly talking with others made me think
I’m so confused as my mind I’ve tinkered with
I wish I could say goodbye to her, since I never learn
But I’ll have to secretly watch her giving off affection I yearn
I wonder if she also misses me?
212 · Jul 2020
Talk To Me
Catherine Bailey Jul 2020
Won't you talk to me more?
For your voice I adore
It shatters my heart's core
And makes my soul soar
179 · May 2020
Eclipse
Catherine Bailey May 2020
As I feel the suffocating cries of misery
Your ghosted smile spirited me away
My heart remained longing and hungry
For the chance you stayed with me that day

The gentle warming and bound peace
From your disappearing, loving embrace
And the sweet aroma of honey from you,
Told me that everything you said was pain

Yet the tears wetting my cold cheek
Could never compare to your lips
As each droplet makes a streak,
I find your love for me was an eclipse
I’m tired, I should go retire
123 · Mar 2020
Three Reminders
Catherine Bailey Mar 2020
When I think of you
I’m reduced to tears
When I look away
Filled with regrets

I rather drown at sea
Than to hear your voice
I want the waves
To drown you out

At night I hug my pillow
Hoping that I can feel you
But instead your ghost hugs me
To remind me how cold it is without you
119 · Apr 2020
Goodbyes
Catherine Bailey Apr 2020
Goodbyes beyond our imagination
You can feel words under your skin
They never met their final destination
As your silence was a sin
118 · Feb 2020
Your rant..
Catherine Bailey Feb 2020
Don’t think I didn’t know
I read them even now
Those poems you leave
Of your adolescence

Behind my back you talked
With those flowing words
And those perfect rhymes
About me and my schemes

You painted me as unforgivable
You called me manipulative
You said that I make people fall in love
And then break them out of the blue

I loved you so **** much
To the point walls felt my punch
You don’t know what I felt
You don’t know my heart

I’m sorry that I hurt you
But everything I ever did,
I did it all for you
She posts poems on here too... she’s the reason I even know about this site. I would count her views and cheer her on. I seemed to have passed the poem that would leave me feeling dead
100 · Mar 2020
Waiting
Catherine Bailey Mar 2020
Eternally waiting
      For that day of coming
Where she’ll say, “I missed you”
                 And melt in my arms
97 · Oct 2020
October
Catherine Bailey Oct 2020
Please welcome the colourful fallen leaves
As October makes its sudden entrance
Suddenly worries disappear with ease
And it changes how your mind perceives

Perhaps it will change a distant friendship
One that should have lasted a century
However just like a broken, old ship
The crashing will not just be sensory

Maybe think of an innocent lover
The lover has dreamed of a connection
But as you will very soon discover
Their love will end in painful rejection

October might one day come to an end
As the opportunity to amend
I wrote this during ELA. Had to hold back my tears
97 · Mar 2020
Melancholy
Catherine Bailey Mar 2020
Melancholy floats in the air
It fills it with suspense
As I pass you and dissemble
In style of debonair

Before, I prognosticated
I predicted what was to come
Now those memories I reiterate,
Unable to continue forward

Was I truly mendacious?
Hidden behind a false identity?
With no chance of harmony,
We can’t repeat goodbyes

But if you’d listen to me
I promise to influence
Facts that only have one side
To be more than meets the eye
Jeez, she’s so stubborn! Why won’t she pay attention? It’s the only way to understand, there’s more than black and white!
89 · Apr 2020
Heartache
Catherine Bailey Apr 2020
My heart used to beat
                   Rhythms always used to meet
                No longer any anymore
                       As it aches forevermore
I was reading a story, It wasn’t that shabby. But when I got to a certain part, the one of the broken lovers’ pact, my tears freely flowed. It hurt how much I related.
87 · Feb 2020
Anxiety
Catherine Bailey Feb 2020
My skin crawls
My heart aches
My mind starts longing
Yet I feel like nothing
The thoughts surround
They leave me pained
I’m thrusted against
My own regret
With no chance
None I’ll ever acquire
To find that escapism
That I see in that dream
I hate school
87 · Mar 2020
Moon
Catherine Bailey Mar 2020
She looked out the window
And saw the moon widow
It was left abandoned
By the sun she loved

The girl’s tearful smile grew
You could see she was blue
But like the moon, she hid
And only came out at night

She and the moon share sorrow
Their tears are both borrowed
Because they were discarded
By the person who stole their heart
The moon is so beautiful, isn’t she? But she’s obviously alone. I feel bad for her the same. Because I share the same fate.
86 · Jan 2020
Weeping
Catherine Bailey Jan 2020
Am I weak for crying?
Am I strong for mourning?
Last night is so blurry
Yet I remember it vividly
I filled my head with music
And my heart with pleading
I tried to reassure my mind
“Leave it all in the past, behind”
But it always seemed to flee the spaces
The cage opened by my stubbornness
How many tears were they?
Does it even matter anyway?
Have you ever cried for me?
I know you mostly have
But I’ll decide to just ignore it
And just fill my head with a lie,
“You would never weep for someone as cruel as me”
85 · Apr 2020
The Cold
Catherine Bailey Apr 2020
The Cold wasn’t here before
                             I feel it in the distance
It’s origin long gone  
                                           Now the Cold will come
I’m so **** cold. Isn’t it spring already?
82 · Jan 2020
Villain
Catherine Bailey Jan 2020
I never lied to you
Just never said the whole truth
So I would make a mask
And everything would be OK
But once you left I couldn’t anymore
My mask then shattered to the floor
Were you scared that day?
I don’t remember your face
Do you blame yourself?
Or just prosecute the fiend?
Whatever your response may be
Thank you for believing in me
Ah, I would always fight with teachers. I wonder if those acts of disobedience changed her perspective of me.
81 · Jan 2020
Dogs
Catherine Bailey Jan 2020
You couldn’t sleep
You were ecstatic
And it was very clear
The texts rolled in
My phone never tranquil
“I’m getting a dog!”
“Isn’t this amazing?”
I was so happy for you
Almost like a proud parent
I never had ever thought
That I could have a pet
So when you got one
It felt all the same

What was its breed?
I never remembered
I think it was Havanese
Or something of that type
I write this beside my dog
He’s very caring and dashing
It’s a german shepherd
Sometimes he bites hard
Do you think somehow,
They would have been friends now?
I believe that answer is best left unsaid
Because if the owners don’t get along
The dogs won’t either, right?
My dog’s name is Blondi, he’s a doll. He’s already made me bleed multiple times with those teeth of his. He’s a good dog, just a bit chompy.
80 · Mar 2020
Fixes
Catherine Bailey Mar 2020
I spent the day looking at you poems
It was the only time you were honest
I do the same thing, I’m no different
I just wish I could see everything previous

Before this time and misunderstanding
When you could listen
And not jump the gun
But then your smile starts fading

I know I’m losing my opportunities
But I don’t know what to do
I’m stressing out, looking for fixes
But you still hate me, don’t you?
Now instead of studying, I study her poems. I’m noticing so many details. I wish I could ask her want she meant, but I could never attempt that.
80 · Jan 2020
Snow
Catherine Bailey Jan 2020
“Aren’t you cold?”
I used to wonder
As you grabbed the snow
The white complimented you
And it kissed your face
As the cold flushed it
You crafted sculptures
And fairytale stories
With you kindness
And gentleness
You stuck those faces
On our school’s walls
And I always took pictures
I wish I had kept them
They would’ve comforted me
But they’re forgotten now
In that freshly fallen snow
It was cold today, I decided to hide inside. While I was running towards my bus stop, it started snowing heavily. It just reminded me of the miniature snowmen she would make.
59 · Feb 2020
City
Catherine Bailey Feb 2020
The pavement was lacking
Any form of burning
Instead it was frozen
Spring nowhere soon
I sat down, cold and weary
Not understanding why

Everyone old and young
Decided to continue living
Without any knowledge
Of their true purpose
So I’ll lay here,
Wide awake
And watch the city
That’ll melt away

Enjoying the silence
While relishing the noise
Which I’ve harboured
And since then buried,
Through this shame
I learned to tolerate
58 · Mar 2020
Fallen Buffoon
Catherine Bailey Mar 2020
Society? Don't you mean yourself?
What is society truly for you?
Is it the tuning of individuals
Where resistance is sinful crimes?
What are people who break away?
Do they deviate from humanity?

What of their hopeless madness?
Wishing to halt their nightmares?
Are their tears merely water
Without any trace of prayer?
You have cursed their souls;
turned into something false

You shall never gift salvation
For you believe in perfection
You know society isn't at fault
Because you are the result
Once they are branded with "madman"
They will cease to be No Longer Human
No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai is a fantastic book. I almost lost myself in the story.

— The End —