from the moment i met you, i knew i would unlock my heart and invite you inside. something about your smile, the whimsy in your eyes, wild, dangerously curious. warm, waiting to whisk me away. you knocked me off my feet, plucked me from my path like a flower. you introduced me to the sun like an old friend.
                        when you lift your eyelids it’s as if you’re taking off my skin, exposing my soul, layer by layer. time awaits for you to look into my eyes so he can take a break. look at me, just look at me. look at me looking at you. i'll reflect your light for once, turn my windows into mirrors. the moment you brush my hand, touch my elbow, tap my shoulder, teacups stand still and my head’s the one spinning mad. be careful, hold still, or your every movement will send me to the moon, shattering my composure and sticking it back together in some form of awe. i’ve been there too many times already.
                       the sun rises in your irises. every morning. i swear it does, i’ve seen it. you blush when you unzip your heart too suddenly. you get shy when i take your photo and i know you don’t like it but you know it’s good for you. you see magic in everyone. you are gentle on my mind and ******* my heart. you are quick on your feet but clumsy when you're tired. you choose the dark side of the moon to explore so you can make your own light.  you hum under your breath when no one’s listening. you are so close with the sun, it burns you every time you meet. it burns you every single time. you’re slow to trust and quick to love. and it burns you. but you still love.
                       And if you are in love, you are the lucky one. respect is my upmost priority. her voice is why i hold my tongue. the way you look at her is why i hide my blush. the photos you take is why i hinder my breath. holding her hand is why i walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk, timing my steps so our fingers won’t brush. your love is why i’m afraid. petrified. it’s augustly love, love you deserve. and if you are happy, you are the lucky one. i wish nothing more for you. happiness for you. for you, i would demand the sea fit into a single bucket, wish the stars to rearrange their light to suit your perspective, ask the flowers to grow backward to grant spring a second chance. for you, i would fit my love into a friendship. i could turn the lightening in my veins into wind instead.
                      in the back of the taxi, after raising the sunset from the sand and racing the rain home, the moonlight in your hair, the breeze in mine, i told you about a love that was complicated. i wanted so to tell you the truth. and i almost did. it would have been easy. we were opening up together. it would have been so easy.
                        you’re the reason.
                       the reason i reply with a smile and not a kiss on my lips, i chase ghosts and not shadows, i slow dance alone, to the beat of a drunk-with-dreams heart. you are the reason i answer no, i pretend i don’t know. you are the reason i want to say yes.
                         when i knocked on your door beneath the stars, when i wore your coat like a hug, when we danced on the cliffs I carved, when i peeled back vulnerability and showed you my stitches and you didn't turn away but you caressed every single scar, when i asked for your name but really wanted to hear your story, i was searching for something more. so here, as i write, attempting to interpret my modern-art-piece of a heart, i ask only one thing in return for honesty: bring back the sun, paint the sky like you painted me smitten. i grew out of my old life, met you on an adventure. i’m on my way up, growing out of this pain. and while i have peace in where we reside, i hope part of you is okay hearing this, because part of me needed to say it before it was suddenly done.

                     here we are.
                     here we go.
                     letting go.

                     after all, there are other ways to meet the sun.

             sincerely,
             the moonlight

when I walk into a room
your eyes on me,
my hope pinned to you

I feel your "yes" reach for me
hear what you don’t say
you believe in everything
and I believe
in fate

No one knows your heartbeat
quite like I do
Not a soul sees the sunrise
the way
I see you

You’ve got a way
with your words
Magic

And I have a heart
of gold
you can have it

All those stories,
the ones never told
imagine

Show me where the wild things are
where no one has to break hearts.

Take me to the bright side of the moon,
where every girl's dream comes true.

Tell me it doesn’t have to be so hard,
and we don’t have to chase stars.

They just fall.

They fall.

And they fall.

Until they’re ours.

Do you have the supplies? Did you get the shopping list? Okay, good. Let's begin.


    Step 1. Give her a wild mind, a heart that won't settle for "good enough", that won't stop trying.

    Step 2. Show her the world through a window pane, tinted glass. Give her a taste of what beauty could be, but don't give enough to make it last.

    Step 3. Grant her such magic, such power in her veins, that she doesn't fit in anywhere, no mold, no shape, no box. Never let her feel too content. Don't give her enough to feel secure in her state. Keep her floating, treading water, climbing rocks.

    Step 4. Don't help when she's hurt, don't listen when she cries. Let her be lonely. Leave her. Let her fall in, let her drown, let her dive.

    Step 5. Allow the dust to settle, the wet to dry.

    Step 6. Look out! Here comes her soul, on that piece of paper there, her latest masterpiece.


Congratulations. You have made an artist.

That, that right there.

           Did you feel the spark? That glint of hope, the shadow of a light heart?

                    I know it hurts. Tell me all about it. Give me every burning, searing detail, explain every crack and every bump and every dip.
        
                         It's been through a lot, I see. It's all bandaged up. It's heavy and it's scared and it doesn't particularly want to work anymore, just staying alive is enough.

                                   Enough of this ache! Lock me up, keep me safe, don't let anyone in, don't let anyone stay.

                                            Work it out. Work it through. And one day, laughing with the wind, looking at the sky, whispering thoughts to yourself, having time, so much time, you will feel that glint of hope, and that shadow of light will become tangible, fierce.

                                                 Keep your heart engage. Keep your feelings connected. You'll need them, my dear, there's more love to come, there's work to be done.

when you just need to stare at the stars

and cry for the whole world