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Pensai 6d
From the outside in. You would bet his life was perfect
Deep deeds low enough to crush a man surface
But the reason isn’t valid and his efforts weren’t worth it
He tried to **** himself on snap and hoped that she’d record it
Had a feeling that his family wouldn’t care.
He tried to tell them all but they probably didn’t hear
He tried to hit the gas with the reaper on his rear
Crashed right into depression it was standing like a deer...
Pensai Jun 8
The Love I lost is fear I found
Face to face, with devils round
Angels falls while demons rise
Countless truths disguised as lies
My thoughts they sink beneath my soul
Bottomless Pitt or a ******* hole
Sins they feel like trucks on shoulders
My life is ****** no **** bent over

Karma flashed before ur eyes,
You felt her squirting on ur thigh
******* cheat with “random” guys
Ppl **** we don’t know why
Conversations minimized
While revenge is televised
I’m sorry Lord I’m falling but
You know my heart was meant to fly

I look my demons in the face
And told them ***** ****** try,
They told me that they in my head
They let me know don’t even cry
The actions that you thought was sane
Is causing everybody pain
Now ur time suffer right on the track just like a speeding train

Now I got a loaded gun
but my demons didn’t run
They said “***** ***** shoot, to **** us all you just need one”
Trust I was tempted dogg,
To squeeze the trig and end it all
They say they don’t understand
I leave my brains all on the wall
No u see inside my mind
Don’t forget the piece outside
The warnings that I tried to give
Was treated ill and tossed aside
Now you see the joke the was real
I’m bleeding yet I’m fighting still
Now I see that I’m still alive
**** it dog I’m gone survive
Staggered to my broken feet
Look my demons in the eye
Told that ***** ***** “look I
Know u dead but time to die
Light is dead and darkness thrives
Is a dangerous game trying to defeat Depression with Solitude. Your demons will never let you win.
Pensai Sep 2018
My life been ****** even though I got my luck up,
Karma on my neck leeching like a bloodsucker,
******* at my chest, ppl ask if imma **** her,
I just go and tell him naw look around and drop a rubber
But the way that I was raised, by some gangstas and some saints,
When I tried to change the channel i was some how in the paint,
Fighting every ******* day,
To keep my demons all astray
pray to God I go above when I confess on Judgment Day
I ask the Lord to gimme hell so it don’t fall all on Renee
That’s my daughter and her mother so u know i got them K
If **** don’t work out God forbid we separate
I hope they let you know that I’m a finger dial away
For all the **** that i done did I already know that imma pay.
I just pray I make it right before the day my casket lay
All the women i done tried and all the bricks that I done weighed
Insecurities and pride paranoia jealous rage,
I ask the Lord to make me better for my family and my sake
And when I go I need a pound of dro and gin all in my wake,
Lemon pepper at my funeral, the macaroni baked,
A couple gallons of some Kream
Cuz u know I don’t eat cake
See the moral of the story is learn to live with faith
So it’ll paint a better picture on the canvas everyday
Learn to love the ones you got cause the Lord will let them stray
Cause you’ll be living with regret while you smoke your life away
I’ve done you so wrong. Time to live with the consequences.
Pensai Sep 2018
My words exist behind the screen.
Just letters to you, I lost my purpose
I pray you be blessed with King and no stress
actions misjudged, solemn enough
Upon the sunrise, I pray the light finds its way into my soul...

Goodbye...
Is there really life after love?
Pensai Sep 2018
I’m in Love and regret
It’s a new retrospect
So much sorrow and gloom
As life lessons they bloom
In Love when upset
You forgive and forget
While regret makes no sense
You just cry in contempt
My soul it bleeds sadness
while pain heals the wound
The nightmares of death
Came to play all to soon
The pain that I felt only you understand
A void that is gone was not part of my plan
I have yet to cease weeping
My heart grated to shreds
As the guilt cuts me up
Like Katanas in hand
I look in the mirror
with no one to blame
Not a spark in my pupil
My eyes filled with shame
Yah tells us no lies when you feel what I feel
A Love that’s worth fighting for
A Love that is Real.

Pensai...
Some people might find that strange.
But the truth of it is that the amount of love you feel for someone and the impact they have on you as a person, is in no way relative to the amount of time you have known them.
Ranata Suzuki
Pensai Aug 2018
As time moves things pass
The turmoils of today grows constant
Light shines where dark thrives
I no longer feel relevant
A loud cry often overheard
Mistaken for a violent surge
I’m overheard never Understood
I’ve come face to face with my demons once again.
Stronger than ever.
Gnawing away at my soul. I can feel their teeth on my emotions.
Yet I refuse to fold.
Pensai Aug 2018
..
The sound is painful
Like nails on a green blackboard
The key of heartbreak...
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