I just can’t continue to feel bottled up like this anymore.
I finally thought I was over
you, and I finally realized things will never work out;
I’m doomed either way I go, and both ways
hurt to know that she won...
she won...
because I messed up
I wasn’t thinking
I was selfish
now when you date this girl,
this girl who has two friends who
want nothing more than to just help
her and be there for her to the end of time, you realize
how much that hurts?
How much it stings?
How much it just wants to make me
scream
rip out my hair
and just look up to see you walk away from me
walk away,
walk away,
that smile never leaving my dreams, the funny odd faces you pull
never leaving my memories,
and even now, as I think of them,
I try to laugh, defeated, through
the tears.
That string’s become wrapped tightly now
restricting my blood flow, and turning my finger purple.
Purple
such an ugly color
I can’t help but adore.
I emulate you to no end, trying to appear
attractive to you in some way
I don’t know if I want you,
I just know that I want you to be mine.
Getting close to you by talking simply
got me addicted again;
thirsty for the feeling
of having you around. I want to be your friend,
I want to be your lover,
I want to be what you want me to be.
**I want to be perfect, I need to be perfect.

when you touch the soft bark of a fallen tree.
                Do you think of me ?
when you sit by the sea, and trace the sand.
                 Do you think of me ?
Does the setting sun remind you of the days
we spent hiding beneath the covers ?
The night's bright and the stars ; they sing.
i misplaced my semicolon for you.
Did you even notice ?
Does it even bother you that i still
love you.
Can you hear me now .
Because when i see that fallen tree i think of you.
My fingerprints in the sand, draw your features.
The fading light from the sun, oh how it saddens me,
oh how it reminds me.
I am sad; do you even notice ?

In that bed,
where we almost made love
Where we would have if I wasn't so **** scared and if my mom wasn't home
Where I wanted to touch and know every piece of you
Where I wanted you to know every bit of me, I wanted to know every bit of me
Oh, the places I need you, the ways that I see you
My desire for desire
The want of never ending kisses, ended by wisps of hair in the way
Inside your shorts still isn't close enough, inside the sheets still isn't close enough
So come here and kiss me, will you? Love me
Get closer, and even when you're here, get closer

The pattern keeps repeating most attractively,
but its the patterns in the pattern that shape our destiny.
I find comfort in forgetting that everything is nothing,
and all this beauty makes me happy just to say I am something.

Cloud my eyes, i’ll be alright.
Cloud my eyes, and i’ll be fine.

Why is everything that i’m feeling nothing of who i am?
Now all the love I'm needing is going up in smoke.
Is there nothing for this daily dying that's lived inside of me?
Can't you tell the only thing I’m feeling is "na na na-na-na"?

The pattern keeps repeating as far as i can see,
and there are patterns in the pattern quite recursively.
But, i find comfort in forgetting everything is nothing,
and all this beauty makes me happy just to say I am something.

Welcome to the world of the depressed,
where the lights and motion take interest.
Welcome to the hour of decay,
where the lights and motion take you away.

I don’t want to wake up from this dream.
Run away from reality.
Dying inside of my memory.
Story of a living casualty.

I think i might just sleep this off...
I think you should just write me off...

there was a fire burning in us

we put it out with alcohol and cigarettes

we put it out with late nights

and *** fights

we put it out with our bodies making love under starlight

oh and how that fire burned

while we yearned

for forbidden things our parents never tell.

there was a fire burning in us, and we walked through hell.

there was a fire burning,

in our eyes you saw it glimmering

ya we threw up,

but we grew up,

and now the fire’s only simmering.

Chocolate hearts melting
In a sweltering heat
Crushed by sticky fingers
Licked by insecure tongues

Little bird battered
Never learnt to fly
It will not soar now
Someone clipped the wings

Mother Earth woke up
She took a look around
Saw nothing had changed
Then she went back to bed

Young man fell in love
She was a serial killer
Let her have her way
She tore out his heart

Poet looked for words
Found his pen was dry
Could he comprehend
He had a mental block

Does anybody understand
What I am trying to say
I think I will step back
Into the well of madness


Copyright Chris Smith 2012 (orginally written on www.apolloblessed.ning.com )