Love can be spelled in
 many different ways
Love can also be read in
 many different ways

Someone might spell it as
 physical
Others might write it as
 affirmation

As for myself
 I spell it as time
As for yourself
 You read it as services

But I portrayed it as
 touch.
You built it as
 Gifts.

I wanted to spend
 time
You only wanted me to
 Serve you

I wouldn't mind
 If you gave protection
But you never gave
 Attention

I've had an unsettling
Feeling since 2 am
A bit frustrating
Your love is dissipating

I woke up with a thought
And a wretched feeling
Through my gut
I think I'm ******

You're in my arms
I have you close
And it might cause me harm
But for now I enjoy your charm

I hope it's not fake
Your words and actions
But I know you lie
That makes me quake

Don't waste my time
Because my heart
It's on the line
And I'm just in line

To try and call you mine
I wish I was first
But that's just fine
Just don't make me out to be a swine.

Go ahead pick a flaw
You couldn't possibly count them all
I've got so many
You could even call me off the wall

Now how about you?
Are you not human too?
Or is your personality
Always the right color hue?

I dare you to lie
The truth to deny
You do it so often
I'm never surprised

There we go
Through team work
We found your dark cork
That goes to show

That you wipe your hands clean
And make it seem
That you are a victim
And not part of this team

That we both built
With every moment stitched together
Like a family quilt
Now you set it a flame because of guilt

It sure is not fair
And what causes my scare
Is how you're so blind
Because I really do care

I have no respect
For your irrational concept
And I hope some day
You take your blame

And you lay in your bed full of flaws
And you count through them all
Because there are so many
You too are off the wall.

I’m going to write while my feelings are still raw

They’re the only thing in my world right now

They’re in my head
All over my body
They are my sheets
The paint on my walls

They’re everywhere

Its clear there’s no getting away
I’m not even going to try
So how about I face them?
Instead of sit here and cry

Let’s talk about this sadness
Oh my, you couldn’t imagine

I was so caught up in you

In your smile
And your laugh
The way your hair curls
And did I mention that smile
Oh my god that smile

I was so in love with you
With the way you spoke and the words you said

Never have I met a more caring person
It’s so natural for you, so genuine

****

I just wanted you to care about me

I just wanted you to be happy
With me

I wanted you to be as in love as I was

I wanted you to need me

But that’s something I can’t force upon you
And I won’t try

It just hurts so badly right now
Sick to my stomach, lump in my throat
That kind of hurt

My body aches for my first love
It aches for your lips and your embrace
And it aches even more knowing it can’t have it

Just tell me you love me

No wait

Don’t
Please don’t

I don’t want you to have to lie
I don’t want you to have to pretend anymore

And I may sound bitter
But that isn’t it at all
I’m oddly happy

Let’s talk about this happiness
Because I’m really not sure why it’s here
Although I’m glad it is

I’m glad you finally got that off your chest
Even though it put more onto mine

You deserve so much more
Than settling for someone like me

I want nothing but the best for you
I’m not the best

I’ve caused you a lot of frustration
I know
And I don’t want you to feel that anymore

I want pure happiness for you

Find it

Please
Please find it

Find it and make this whole thing worth it

I need reassurance
I need confirmation
A daily reminder
And a weekly gesture
Simply because I am weak,
insecure,
and doubtful.

I want you to know that I need attention
Lots of it
And I want you to find my cool spot
When I'm a burning flame.

And if you call me needy
I don't think you need me.
I need love
I need affection.
Your attention is my goal
Give me your protection.

It started off simple
in a simple place
with a simple mind
that simply needed to make it happen
so it simply did
but it simply didn't matter
how simple became complex
and it simply killed us
and simple moved to next

My words are on fire
And your eyes are cold as ice
My hands have grown numb
And you no longer want to listen to the beat of my drum
Is this not all comprise?
My strides are aggressive
And your thoughts are protected
I share my emotions
But you don't like that commotion
How is this all so hectic?
My lungs need air
And you're slowly pulling our your hair
I really hope that you meant it
Or was it the passion in your belly ?
Or was it the satisfaction of taming a lion?
Perhaps it is the only honest thought in your *** of black gold.