Numbs my tears
Sadness disappeared.
This soft Powder
Makes all real
Not reveal .

Numbs
in every way.
feel no Emotions
No physical pain.

Love this
Smooth soft *******

I owe myself
The biggest apology.
For putting up
With what I didn’t
deserve For so long .

My heart
Is physically hurting.
I analayzed all the possibilities
All in which made me fear.
Yes, this is real.
That time is finally here.
The final night.
I no longer want to tear.
My heart feels so heavy
My chest feels so full.
I feel this heavy weight in me.
I want it all to go away.
Tonight marks another.
My brain is in panic mode
I know the outcome of them all
While you dance in the light
I cry in the shadows

It's been difficult for me to swallow
I feel in distress
I feel so pathetic
Yet I continue to address
But they continue to do what's best
Live for them self's .

It's the final night
I can't put up with no more lies
Live your life
I don't deserve this anymore
I can't explain anymore

Lullabies of you & I
Same lullaby
fights, arguments and cries.
I'm finally getting tired of it all
I'm near saying my final goodbyes

once I walk
I won't turn back
that spark I had for you
has finally died.
I blame you, I'm even feeling
like I don't even have love 4 u
soo much pain that you've put me through
I'm sorry for my honestly
I'm always apologizing for things I shouldn't
I should've been walked away

I’m ******* tired
Of your *******
Fed up with making
Me feel so ******* useless
Sick of all
Your manipulative ways
My wasted days
Sitting around crying
Punishing myself by
getting high Or cutting.
All because of your avoidance,
Sents to voicemails
no replies ,
Tears down my cheeks
While Beers, music , parting
In your Eyes.
I walking lonely dark streets
To blow of the angered frustrated steam that Whistles
Out my body
Because you continuesly
Hide , lie , deny
Every question asked.

I hate I cry
I cry I hate
I’m tired of being
In this Same place

Piles after piles
Depression
Addiction
Emotionally abused
Self esteems so low
Been told many things
To make me feel
Like I truly have no worth .
So sad
That I’m just going with everyone’s flow of me
Being the chaos To
Anything , everything
That goes wrong .

I’m drowning in the sea
People see my desperation
to swim up To breath
Watching me Suffer
Do nothing when I scream
The words h e l p

They just stand by & point a finger
“Shouldn’t have gotten near
the water”
Yeah I know that above phrase made no sense
To you the reader
But there’s so much to explain

I’m just done
I can’t find words to explain
Wrapping my self up
I don’t want drugs
I don’t want pain
I don’t want to run away
I just want to sit
Shove the stick into my mouth
& Pull back the Burner
Push hard & fast
On the trigger
blow up My brain
I’m sad I’m hurt
Lalalala
I just can’t cope
I don’t want dope
Don’t want smoke
want No Sharp objects
I just want all of this to stop

Close my eyes & wake up
To a life where I have it all together
A career
Job , car
Normal life with the basic problems every one els deals with

Idk idk
Why’d he break my heart
Gave Love a chance
High hopes of finally
Making it out my current misery
Start up a new
Beginning
I got twice pain
I got shredded
My life’s at its worst
Going to bed
Sweet dreams to me
Night

These stories of addiction
Repeated tales
Of hating then saying
I’d turn back without hesitation.
I’m tired of misleading,
The truth of how I feel .
Story telling to these people.
Who will Never see In deeper
.
Across my head
They’ll forever read tweaker
Who’s lying & will go get
High after promising to never take another hit .

I’m tired so disgusted
This drug is really Killing me
Eating up my insides & Confusing up my ******* mind.

I’m dying when I’m on this
Every heart beat is a risk
The Fast Pacing or the slowness
Any second I could collapse
I don’t have to be an addict
I don’t need to have consumed so much or often.

My body might 1 day
Not react to It’s toxic.
Out the blue , just 1 use
Can land me to the place where the skies are blue , Trees are breezing
Lovely green nicely cut grass lays beneath, decorated with stones
Where underneath lay
Loving souls
Who won’t ever return.