You walk with purpose down my street
Thought you wanted to taste all my sweets
Like every other man I meet
That on their wife they want to cheat

You choose me, why I do not know
But on me you did bestow
Your surgically sharp knife leave rivers that flows

Me, you saw fit to disembowell
All that was heard was my painful howl
You ****** that knife into my gut
Made a smooth quick upper cut

I watched my intestines hit the floor
You calmly walked right out the door
I was left with the messy gore
Waves of panic hit my minds shore

As the realization that my life was over
No more looking for that four leaf clover
Nothing mattered any more
This act of yours I do deplore

I grab my body's innards, to shove them back
But didn't seem to have the knack
Such a sad way to end my life
By the blade of Jacks shiny knife

The limbs grow, cover and cradle me
Like the arms of a forgotten lover
The maggots give me love bits as they slowly consume
The worms slither round about, in and out
Never again will my face wear a frown
Never again will I worry about zen
Or about how's and when's
This moss is my bed
Where I lay my weary head
Off to rest for eternity
Where the animal and insects show me love

Finally LOVE

I don't need sympathy, I don't need pitty
I need some answer that are witty
This darkness is about the here and now
Problems seem to stalk and prowl
I don't know what to do
But to continue on till the day is through
But every day new problems arise
I lift my eyes up to the sky
I want to stand infront of God's throne
Whisper I know I'm nothing but a dog, but could you throw me a bone
Instead of releasing the hounds of hell
That come and munch on my fragile shell
I march through the day like a war weary soldier
Constantly looking over my shoulder
As new problems hunt me down
Throw me into the water watch me drown
To tired to fight the current
But here I am all burnt
Thrown into the fire once again
My soul will never mend
God please today look kindly on me
I've tried to look into the light to see
But it's to dim
I feel myself slipping and giving in

**** them all
Only when in need do they call
Tired of being used
I need things too

I need love
Not to be shoved
From one thing to the next
Ecpect me to jump when they text

Why can't they think of me
Get ahold of me just to see
How was you day
Did things go your way

But no one does that
Instead I feel like a door mat
So yes I'm mad
But mainly I'm sad

But they will never see my tears
Because they are never here
I sit here all alone
So write this on my headstone......

**** THEM ALL

He is an addict
Pain on others he never sought to inflict
He was only looking for a way out
And this was just another bout
Of self hatred and doubt

He took the drugs to ease the pain
He took the durgs to ease the strain
He took the drugs to try to stay sane
In he's place I might have done the same

In the midst of all the carnage
You'll find him there spoon and rig
As he cooks it down
A slight quickened breath is the only sound
Eyes wide and bright with the thought of relief
With hurried thoughts of release

He thumps his arm to find the vein
It's the path straight to the brain
With that needle the monsters of the past are slain

But other monsters soon are made
They are just a diffrent shade
For the candle and the spoon
With the needle creates an awful hewn
The tracks are laid
No one can save
There is no way
So I just pray
I'll never turn my back to a friend
Even when his given in

With your wicked ways you disembowled my young life
Anger, pain and confusion you made sure were rife
You opened up the gates of hell, that let those demons pour through
You poisoned all my thoughts, and the darkness is all I knew
I was to young to cope or comprehended
I paid for the wages of your sin
You left me tattered, and my soul torn
And now still there rages a battle, a constant growing sky black storm
You ****** up my mind
So I would make choices of the wrong kind
And my demon count grew
And it was all because of you!!!

Laying here with my arm's across my chest
Just hugging myself
For there's no one here to hold me
Tears cascading, I can't see
No one here to comfort me
No one here to care
Only me to pick myself up, when
I fell
When I fall
When I hit the wall
No, no one here at all

I live my life in dog years
And I'm afraid the end it nears
For every year of man, I suffered enough for seven
And I fear there is no way I'm going to heaven
Dogs are not allowed, for me it's Armageddon

My face is all swollen and red with the rage.
like a moster busting out of his cage
I enter the room with my Glock 25
Shoot them all dead leave no one alive
People will wonder how I got to this gate
With this twisted burning of concentrated hate
I was born into this world an innocent soul
But my innocence soon from me was stole
So now all of you ******* have got to go

Party started at 8 o'clock
Halloween we're gonna rock
Come on and join the keg line
For witches brew in blood you sign
Pass the devils joint or two
Through out the night happenings ensue
We all get drunk and surround the fire
Throw on more wood make it higher
Moonshine rules the night, it goes down smooth
Don't drink to much or your memory you just might lose
Watching people flirt and swoon
Move on over make some room
Stand around and watch the fight
Two lovers got to uptight
Early moring everyones passed out
But by the fire me and you play about
I can say it was a hell of a fun night
Now we'll go to your home, finish what we started by that fire's light

The Rich, they sure have an awful lot
They get it from the people that Have Not
The Rich, work a little then goes and plays
While the Have Nots, slave away all of their days
The Rich spend lots of money on all of their big toys
But paying the bills is what Have Nots sure enjoys
The Rich goes to restaurants and have extravagant meals
The Have Nots feel lucky if their bellies get filled
The trickle down theory doesn't work, we should stop
Because all of the water just stays at the top

The rain is thundering down
That's where I'll be found
For in the rain I'm free to cry
No one can tell and ask me why
For they never understand
They don't wear the brand
Burnt into their brain
That slowly drives one insane
There are a few that know the pain
You'll know who they are, their standing in the rain

Born of cosmic dust and fire
The curse on her would never expire
She had been born out of rage and fear
Her mother taken at the point of a warrior's spear

Given to the gypsies to raise
It was the start of her dark days
Passed around from man to man
Each one imprinting their own brand
Making her feel less than
Her skin is burnt with all their marks
They scream out to the spirits dark
One kind gypsy branded one to let the bright rebound
So even in darkness, the light could be found

She had her mother's chants
She had her father's rants
And the agony of her years made her something to fear

She was not afraid of pain
To her that was a daily game
Don't threaten her with death
She'll show you how easy it is to take that last breath
She begs for it just as much today as then
Her want for the reaper's release is written from within

They thought the darkness would take her over
It would make it easier for them to control her
But that one magic symbol for the light was powerful
It would not let the darkness be her downfall
She learned the chants, she studied the plants
She knew what all the talismans ment
And how to control and use the elements

Till she was strong enough then she broke free
And the gypsies in terror before her flee
She stepped over the bodies of those that had done her wrong
She did it singing the sweetest song
That made even the bravest of them wish their life would not be prolonged

She now wanders the woods clothed from head to toe
So all of the symbol branded scars don't show
With people she has no use
Alone she suffers no abuse
She prefers the solitude
She's always in a sullen mood
The curse on her is still to be shown
Because no good deeds has she yet sown

The wisest thing my Grandma ever told me
Is take comfort in your misery
Because sometimes that's all your gonna see
Wonder if Grandma knew
Maybe she was trying to give me a clue

That it would be all that life had in store
I'd be ripped apart at the core
That I'd live in constant ashes
Dreams and hope dashes
On the rocks of eternal sorrow it always crashes

Someone clipped my wings
So I would never sing
Someone broke my heart
It now is only art
Someone broke my spirit
So in darkness I will live it

My Grandma so very wise
She knew I'd live through many lies
And rough times ahead of me lay
And still persist to this present day
And I hope from heaven Grandma can see
I take comfort in my misery

The beast that resides within
Is scorched in sin
My heart's as cold as ice
With me it's a roll of the dice
Will I be nice, or rip you right into
Nothings really new, it's just the way I grew
Hiding all the pain
It drove me a bit insane
Cold steel runs through all my veins
I dance in the pouring rains
Of anarchy, and mayhem
I can get inside your cranium
Plant my little seeds
And make you do my deeds
I'll show you smoke and mirrors
Thing's will never be as they appear
You will love me with only fear
And a smile from ear to ear
For once you've tasted my nectar
I'll have you till the hereafter

A weird vibration coming from the ground
Shakes me from the vision I had found
I glance at the demon's horse, but he is not the reason for the sound

A bright light flashes before my eyes
I turn my attention back to the sky
It had been the sun glittering off the dragon's silver laced wing's, on every up flap rise

She is circling, she had heard my chanting song's plea
It looked like she was going to trust me
And my heart felt chant she would heed

She slowly and softly starts to descend
I tell the knight to keep his sword sheathed, this mighty beautiful creature I would befriend
The air rushed violently around me as her wings she fully extended
LEANA stood now before me, I begain to speak in the tongue of the dragon's so she would full comprehend

I was surprised to see her flowing silver main
And pearly white scales covering her body, and even the tail had the same
They threw off rainbow colors in the sun, and with her silver threaded wings make other dragons look lame

I tell the great dragon of our plight
And that the dark lord we are prepared to fight
But to secure that he will never again walk the world at night

"We need your help we need a part of you
I hope there is a way you can see your way through"
LEANA nodded yes and lifted a few scale plates used her sharp claw to cut her fleash pulled out one rib, I watched as another one in it's place grew

She handed the rib to me as the kight lifted his sword
Was he so stupid my warnings he had ignored
But I caught a flash of movement, it was demons he was racing towards

There was a cave system I had not seen, that's what the vibrations had been
The thousand demons stomping through them
Our future was looking grim

He fought them till he was covered in their blood he did so gallantly
But still a hundred at lest had jumped on the dragon's back and was ripping her apart so savagely
I used the wind and exploded all of them from within blood and guts flew I stood with face flushed, I stood there so angrily

My vision had come true, LEANA was drawing in lifes last breath
Saddness overwhelming me I did the only thing I knew to do, I pulled out the talisman I kept close to my chest
I pressed it hard to her breast

I knew with that single action my life would be cut short
For I had given her part of my life sources
But I had to she had given to much to stop on this earth the evil force

As my spirit flowed into this creature that carried no sin
Another brand with white hot pain sunk in
I could feel the evil sink below the skin

I could feel it course through my vains
The knight rushed over,on my face he seen the pain
And all my color drain

The mighty dragon let out an ear splitting cry
Took to it's wings and disappeared into the sky

I collapsed into the knight's arms
He's eye betraying his growing alarm
I could tell he loved me and was afraid I had came to the demons harm

Somewhere between lost and found
I let it all burn to the ground
Standing in the present, with hope for tomorrow
Glancing back at yesterday's sorrow

No more whispers no more shouts
I have no regrets and I have no doubt
That someday the truth will ring out
Then what will happen to those lies you spout

What will happen then to that acid love you spew
Will you finally get what your due
I  doubt it
For this wicked world your a perfect fit

Your as poisonous as a viper
Or a Black Widow spider
Spit your vile words any where but in my direction
Your not welcome here, if I haven't mentioned

People can you tell me why
When commercials come on of abused animals you cry
But for our children not one word of them is mentioned
Of how they are forced to live with no love in filthy conditions
Thier lost little souls are tossed aside like garbage
They are ***** tired and starving
You cry for the poor little animals
While human monsters eat our children's fragile souls like cannibals

Like a leach you latch on
You think your bite is strong

Your annoying, that much I'll admit
Like a dog with an itch, trying to scratch off a tick

It's not blood from the vain
That you want to drain

But emotions from the soul
You want to leave holes

You've lost all of your own, so other's you seek
You have grown so very sickeningly week

But I've grown up in the abyss
That part you must have missed

I'm not what you thought
I'm not what you sought

I'm much to strong
For you to cause me harm

I will stand and scoff
As I flip your *** off

You have no rights
For you are nothing but a parasite

The walking dead in the land of the living
Soulless eyes and hearts unforgiving
They seek to destroy
******* out your joy
Shatter your skull
Make your mind dull
Rip out your heart
That's just the start
Dead set eyes
You'll never relize
Till it's to late
Your heart they ate
Breathing remains
Nothing else the same
Now hollow of feeling
Soul was sent reeling
Some don't know
Out of them life flowed
We're all missing parts
Mostly the heart
Also gray matter
Out of mouths spatter
Growing in number
Pillage and plunder
All must be feed
Living in the land of the dead..

Would you rather
Be you
Or make yourself a new
Whould you rather
Live beside a ocean
Or in a city with all of the commotion
Would you rather
Be happy
Or always feel crapy
Would you rather
Go to heaven
Or face armmagad
Would you rather
Love yourself
Or somebody else
Would you rather
Die
Or learn to fly
Would you rather
Be lonely
Or be someone's only
Would you rather
Tell the truth
Or tell lies to the roof

Whatever choice you make
You sculpt yourself
Even if you choose not to choosechocand set upon a shelf

There was a bird that grew up caged
It didn't know it should be enraged
It had seen other birds fly
Thought to it's self "they are going to die"
For from what it had lived and witnessed
It thought they must have a sickness
To make them fly
Way up there in the sky
In it's cage it was quite content
Never knowing what for, it's wings where ment
So it thought the other birds where more than bent

Are you like that little bird
Thinking that flying is quiet absurd
Are you locked in a cage of your own design
Content to live your life so confined
Take a closer look and open up your mind

I always miss you, until your here.
Then I just want you to disappear
When your gone I dream about the good times we had
But when you come around, you just bring out the bad
So go away so my heart can miss you, please don't stay
I just so want you to go away
But in my mind, times with you are marvelous
And your always romantic, and spontaneous
When your actually here in my life
Your words just cut me like a knife

I'm fighting hard for a reason to stay
I'm trying hard my demons to slay
But my swords are all broken, turned to rust
I'm afraid I'm all hollow, I'm but a crust
I'm striving to see the light, in this inky thick darkness
But to my screams and pleas, only the demons harkens

Where is my guardian angel
I'm in danger
Where is my knight in shining armor
I can't find a safe harbor
Where is my sweet dear friend
I'm afraid it's close to the end

I'm trying to save myself, it's not working
I'm trying hard, I'm not shirking

I need someone to care, I need a helping hand
Before my hourglass runs out of sand
I'm running out of time
Worthless is this life of mine

I am just fruit from the poisonous tree
That stands by the crimson sea

All day and night you can hear my plea
As I scream like the lonely banshee

My life must be written in a decree
That I only receive pain in diffrent degrees

My life is like a fierce sand flea
It makes me hurt in places I don't see

Until it's to late, wont it just let me be
With all of this misfortune I must disagree

I guess I was born from that old ashe tree
Because ashes is all that surrounds me

This desolation of misery I beg to flee
From this strife and depression I long to be free

I'm being hunted, I am the pray
Eyes darting everywhere, thoughts in disarray

Drove by him on the street this morning, our eyes locked
**** now he knows the car is my only thoughts

I had moved away from my home town
Hope upon hope I wouldn't be found

But I still work in this God forsaken place
In this **** town every day, so now I'm being chased

I don't understand why he won't let me be
It's been so many years, why can't he just forget about me

Although I know in his drug addled mind
I'm the one that got away and left him behind

He is truly crazy, that's what scares me the most
And I know all the demons he host

He's lived most of his life in prison, or on the streets
He's one of the homeless like many you meet

But he's a dangerous CRAZY
Of that there's no maybe

He told me a few years go of the women he's ***** and beaten
If he would die there would be one less demon

****!!! As I sit here writing this, out the window I spy
Him nonchalantly just walking by

Why ******* now does hunt me this way
I feel like crying in dismay

But I'm at work so I hide my fear
**** if he hadn't seen my car he wouldn't know I was here

My client is handicapped and his father old
All of this their mind couldn't hold

If he's still here after my work day
I'll have to lure him away

After all it's just me that he craves
And I know he will always till either him or I lie in the grave

My child you never need to say a word
Your prayers unsaid are loudly heard


The crickets cry out constantly your pain
Every morsel, every grain

The Barn owl screeches out all your fear
Be Still my child, I'm always Near

The coyotes nightly howl, echoes your remorse
It's OK my child you'll get back on course

Wolfs scream of the agony you've been through
I'm sorry child, but there's still more for you

The fireflies light shows me how dark your world has gotten
Don't fret my child your not forgotten

You may cry, scream and blame me too, my shoulders are broad
Or just be Still my child and know that I am God

She's a demon with red glowing blood shot eye's
If you catch a glimpse you'll want to die
There is a fire that reside deep inside
Smoke just rolls from up from her lips and nose
And setting on her shoulders is the blackest crows
In her hands she carries the deadest rose
She always lays it on the stoop
Of the nexts victim that she's gonna scoop
Everyday she gets more wise
By feeding on the children's cries
For wisdom God did forsake
For once upon a time she was just a snake
But she grew into human form to make us quake
But with the wailing and sorrow she inflicts
Her knowledge grows and children is what she picks
For their innocents is so pure
It leaves them with scars that for the rest of their lifes they must endure
And leaves them marked there is no cure
Her scars leave them shining like a beacon
And on their souls the other demons will be eaten

Laying here with my arm's across my chest
Just hugging myself
For there's no one here to hold me
Tears cascading, I can't see
No one here to comfort me
No one here to care
Only me to pick myself up, when
I fell
When I fall
When I hit the wall
No, no one here at all

Man on a ledge
Looking over the edge
At the sea of people crowded around
Just to watch if he's stepping over to come down
Most shouting for him to jump
For they only think of him as another suicidal chump
They think that could never be them
They would never have thoughts that grim

But he is just an average man
Yet here on the ledge he stands
It could be you,it could be me
Those ignorant people can not see
It only takes one simple thing
To break that final string
When out of life, all happiness has been expunged
To make you want to take that plunge
To give up and lung

The man on the ledge said a prayer for those below
That they're never in this darkened hole
That they never fell this low
With the echoing of "JUMP" ringing in his ears, the volume only grows
He steps over into the unknown, that day all the people got their show

I take care of everyone and then some
When will my turn come
Will anyone ever take care of me
They just float on the breeze
The weight of the world is on my shoulders
I'm getting wore out crawling over the boulders

She decided she would take a short cut through the thick dense woods
The red and orange horizon signaled the sun was about to retire from the sky
So she hurried in, her steps where quick, she was begaining to wonder if she should
It was darker under the dense cover of trees it felt like a place one could die
She just lowered her head and hurried on
The forest had a thick carpet of leaves and moss
The thick gray fog was sweeping in strong
She was getting fearful that she might get lost
She slowed down a little, she heard something behind her
She stoped and listened, a very soft snap of a twig in the soft forest floor
She ran so fast her lungs were screaming she was almost a blur
She couldn't see through the fog, she ran on and on till she could run no more
She stoped and listened, trying to slow her breath
But something was chasing her, on almost silent feet it tread
She found a rotten log laying on the ground and hid, for whatever was coming was bringing death
It quickly closed in upon her, what she saw brought only dread
It stood on two clawed feet, it was almost 8 feet tall
Covered in a thick brownish black fur
It had a wolf type head, white sharp teeth lined it's enormous jaw
She put a hand over her mouth to stifle a scream, trying hard not to stir
She knew what the beast was, she had watched it in horror movies
It was man turned beast, a werewolf, a curse come to life
Her mind was trying to wrap around this thought, it was to surreal and spooky
Trying to figure out how to get away, afraid she'd have to fight
Automatically her hand went to her silver cross necklace
At that instance the beast claw crushed though the rotten log
It had smelled her, her attempt at fleeing where feckless
Quicker than she could move the beast pounced on her like a dog
She pulled at the cross the chain stretched then snapped
She held it in a white ****** grasp, with only the point sticking out
She scurried back in the dirt she was trapped
She could see it's hot breath puffing white out of it's nostrils on it snout
The werewolf snarled, snapped, and drooled
It's claws shredded,blood splattered, her clothes and skin
She rolled left then right, trying the beast to fool
The best turned it's head to fallow her movments, she found it's eye and stuck the silver cross deep in
It stood up and let out a most painful howl
It gave her time to slide out from under, and run
She ran for her life, only taking a quick look back to see it clawing at it's ****** eye
She came to the edge of the woods just as it was breaking day, this short cut had been no fun
She tilted her head to the sun in the sky
She was ok except for the long scratch on her back
And a slightly twisted ankle she made her way home

Saturday night
My monster came out to fight
I'm sorry it gave you such a fright

But when the liquor flows in
My monster tells all my sins
Please let me have a do over once again

I'll keep my closest locked up tight
I won't subject you again to that sight
I know it wasn't right

I know we are a casual thing
My pain I didn't need to bring
You didn't need to see my clipped wings

I'll take passion over emptiness
I'm just looking for a glimpse of happiness
So from you I'll hide all my craziness
I'll just be your temptress
A casual thing, that still lives in the darkness

I want to lie down and hug my pillow for a minute
I want to lie down and forget the world and what is in it
I want to lie down and my crazy thoughts derail
I want to lie down and deeply just exhale
I want to lie down and close my eyes to rest
I want to lie down and feel the dark's caress
I want to lie down and forget about it all
I want to lie down and listen to that voiceless call
I want to lie down and forget these ruby laced wrist
I want to lie down and simply not exist

©Pauline Russell

To judge another is really not your place
You never know how it feels unless you live inside their space
But maybe your just stupid, ignorant, or dumb
Please enlighten me tell me which one

Another brick wall
I can't take anymore
My life is a chore
Watch me fall

Another brick wall
My head is throbbing
My heart is sobbing
My voices they call

Another brick wall
I'll just bleed
No way to succeed
Laying here in a sprawl

Everytime I try to bask in the sun
Everything comes unraveled and undone
The light Only burns me and makes me blind
Always falling farther behind

What is the secret to a happy life
I need to know mines only been strife
I have thoughtful plotted my days
Time has showed me others control my ways

Even when I've only let family in
They still committed egregious sin
Living all alone doesn't let happiness be
I'm so confused that I can't see

I opened my heart once again
Only to get it shattered within
I done all I can so where is happiness found
I think mine is hidden under ground

When I preform my finale deed
On that day I die and they plant me like a seed
I think I'll find it that's where it will be
The only place where there is true glee

All of this torment
I did not consent
In all this suffering
There is no comforting
In all this despair
No one cares
In this grief
I get no relief
I am so spent
More than bent
In all this pain
I am not sane
In all this anguish
I just languish
It's pure desolation
If I failed to mention
With no more hope
I only cope

It's the calling of the evening
And the sky looks like it's bleeding
I set on the porch in the cooling of the air
And the worries of the day, I no longer care
Listening to the birds last songs of the day
Before they take wing and fly away
Darkness slowly creeping up
As I wrap my hands around my warm cup
The sky changes to a deepened blue
Such a beautiful hue
I simply love this time of day and the changes the sky goes through
The fireflies look like stars on earth
And the children know of their worth
The chase them all around the yard
Hoping to catch a few off guard
I watch them play shadow tag, and I start to reminisce
Of my childhood memories and all the things I miss
Of all the fun me and my sister had
But then my thoughts grow sad
About all of my family that has passed away
Like my mom and dad and my mood starts to decay
And mosquitoes start to buzz my head
Guess it's time to go to bed
And dream about my dear loved ones
Until the mourning sun

He reached for the rose, but forgot about the thorns
He reached for the beast, but forgot about the horns
He reached for the future, but forgot about the past
He reached for the journey, but forgot about the quest
He reached for the sun, but forgot about the burn
He reached for the knowledge, but forgot what he'd learned
That light without darkness simply can not exist
Like the possessed without an exorcist
One without the other would have no value
With is you cannot argue

The rain comes splattering in through my window, like a thousand cool tiny kisses

My skin glisten

It begins as the sun goes down in the coal black inky darkness of night

Layer of fright

Thunder so loud it rattles the windows, shakes the room

Sonic boom

Bright white hot lighting splits the night into

Darkness resumes

The rain pours down trying to drown everything, that's for certain

Glistening wet curtain

The wind is bending the trees to it's will, making house shingles fly

Look to the sky

Destruction is on the horizon, The finger of God is on the ground

No safe haven found

The funnel cloud again ascends into the heavens, leaving behind a shattered earth

What's the cost,the worth

The morning light brings silence, only the sounds of the mothers crying

The fathers sighing

Broken boards, tattered dreams, toppled trees

What's become of me

You'll find my body in the field, I road the winds, soul ripped from my mortal shell

**** up to heaven, thrown down to hell

Tears like rain, on her cheeks is found
They are always there, falling down

The sorrow is etched in lines on her face
Still she carries herself with beauty and grace

She's always there when someone is in need
Happy to help with every deed

Yet there she sits all alone
Not even a place to call her own

There's no hero for her to call
She feels like a little rag doll

Kicked to the side
A downward slide

cobwebs of memories are forming in her mind
Twisted and contorted she is now misaligned

She's coming undone, seams ripping apart
If only someone would give her their heart


©Pauline Russell

I'm being washed away
Your silence rings in my ears
I'm drowning in your quiet ocean
Your lack of words is beginning to weigh
My eyes are creating a flood, down my checks roll the tears
Make some waves, give me some emotion

Maybe it will wash the past away
If you tell me, maybe our love you won't fear
You'll see I cause no drama, no commotion
I won't run, right bedside you I'll stay
I'll give you my heart, if your's I steal
I promise you babe all of my devotion

Why is life such a a meanie such a bully
There's no controlling it, it's so unruly
Some times it only gives me a ******, other times it knocks me to my knees
It just does what it please
But lately it's been knocking me out
What the **** is that all about
Life sure does need to stop this plight
That it has against my right
To be happy now and then
So I can at lest offer the world a grin
But I still have a furrowed brow
I wear the same old scowl
Because my life is such a bully
It's become so ******* unruly

demons lurking all around
listening to my every sound
This life of mine is all up hill
My beating heart should just be still
I want to rest in deaths embrace
Unbearable pain is written on my face
Demons dance with sweet repraise
watching with there steely gaze
They lick their lips without restrain
So eager to tast all my pain
That's steadily driving me insane

You act as if you hadn't a clue
You act as if I hadn't talked to you
You act as if I hadn't tried till in the face I was blue

I did, I tried
I did, but you only sighed
I did,rivers of tears I cried

Why are you such a *******
Why is your agony dispread
Why did you not listen and ended up mislead

I beckoned you to come near
I beckoned you so I could make it clear
I beckoned you but you only looked at me with that sneer

So I let you do it your own way
So I let you become the prey
So I let you crumble in just mere days

Now i'll just set and watch
Now I'll just set while all of it you botch
Now I'll just set as you make another notch

If only you had not just listened but heard
If only you hadn't let things get so blurred
If only you hadn't acted so absurd

I sat and I watched you expire
I sat and I watched as your situation got dire
I sat and I watched as you set yourself on fire

Born on the darkest of nights
For the stars hid their eyes from the sight
Of an innocent soul born under the bad moon
With the universe this child would never be attuned
In lifes garden, only pain, misery, and sorrow could bloom
From the very beginning this child's life was doomed

The stars wept that night
For an atrocity that wasn't right
The rain that fell on that child's soul
Was meant to comfort and console
The star's sweet tears quieted the wish to die
That only minutes old has already darkening that child's eye

The child grew up with a messed up childhood
Every night the step dad at the child's bedroom door stood
That curse of the bad moon
Made sure all happiness out of this life was pruned

The child grew up, found love, or so thought
Only latter to realize they had been caught
The grown child was caged and beaten daily
It was the depth of Hell, it almost drove that poor soul crazy

The stars held witness
As the winds of change bent and twisted
Rushing that soul from one tragedy to another
Leaving the child shaking under the covers

The child cried out to that wicked moon
"This sorrowful life you gifted me to soon"
"I never got to taste the pleasure"
"Or lay for a time just in leisure"
"You took happiness, the greatest of all treasure"

Everyday the child struggled through
What else was there to do
But everyday brought new problems the child did it's best to solve them
But it was a constant onslaught
Being born under the bad moon's sign, only agony was brought

The only relieve was at night, when the star's tears fell
It called to the child's soul like a bell
On rainy night you can find
The child's fragile body and mind
Stand out in the pitch dark rain
Letting all those starry tears wash away the pain
The strain
That resides in the heart the brain
The star's and the child's tears mix
As off the child's fingertips it drips

In the harsh light of day
Watch this child sways
Watch as the delicate steel soul dances to every blow
Taking the lumps of every thing thrown
It's hard to believe how strong this child did grow
But it's bones are brittle
To crush this grown child would take but a little

This child will never out live the moon's tattoo
There is nothing about it to do
Pushing on
Giving the illusion of being strong
Over to many problems it stumbled
Until the child's soul crumbles
Then the soul will rejoin the universe
Then and only then, in happiness it will be submerged

So take heed when the next bad moon wanes on high
You can hear the stars weep and cry
Pray your child isn't born in that night
That your child will not have to fight for a life that's unlivable
Surrounded in all that is miserable

If you was born under that evil moon
If the star's for you cry too
Do the best you can do
Dance in the rain of tears
Through out all of your years
In the stars sweet rain
It can wash away the pain
Letting you feel the illusion of sane

I knew it was coming, I was settling into a groove
Thing's where going a little to smooth
I felt a first a small quaking
The universe's desire to **** ME OVER was awaking
Then life explode AGAIN on me,  all over the place
Now I'm standing here with the universe's **** on my face

There's a fire in my eyes, and my fangs are about to show
You think I'm sweet and timid, not a mean bone in my body
But there are sides of me you just don't know
For within this aged body, lies a monster full of rage
He's only there to protect me from what people do and say
I'm afraid after what you are doing he is rattling his cage
If he breaks free I'm  scared what he might do
He has no heart, so no words can make him fall apart, no deed can break him down
You think I'm weak for my kindness that I have shown to you
Now I'm asking you to pay your part, give me what you owe
Or I'll unlock the cage and fling wide open that **** rusty door
So he can stomp your ***, kick you out of my life, making you happy he finally let you go